


Made in China

by SeeleFairyWitch



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-10
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2017-12-26 05:08:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 41,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/961932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeeleFairyWitch/pseuds/SeeleFairyWitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>China is experiencing a weird problem: he is can’t help but write his name on everything. He knows it’s from the sudden increase of exports from his country and ‘China’ or ‘Made in China’ being on everything he exports and now the problem is becoming bigger. The other nations decide he needs to stop and Ivan so kindly suggests a way for him to stop. However when the urges become too much and the only thing he has is a permanent marker and Ivan as his canvas Yao cracks. Yaoi, SMUT IN FINAL CHAPTER!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Pairing: Rochu, some hints of USUK, Prucan, Gerita and Giripan.  
> Rating: M so... teens or Mature (not sure yet)  
> Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or these chracters but this idea is of my own imagination.  
> R&R?

Yao fingered the pen in his pocket as he sat in a world meeting listening to Ludwig talk about solving the current economic crisis in Europe. Unfortunately the countries whom would benefit from this weren’t listening, or they were Feliciano and they were staring at Ludwig’s ass instead of listening.  
“I have an idea!” Alfred jumped from his seat. Arthur groaned shaking his head in disgrace.  
“Just sit down,” Arthur mumbled quietly so only people sitting near Alfred could hear. Yao bit his lip pulling out a notebook to find a clean page. One of his urges had come back: not like he was an addict or something, he had just noticed lately that he enjoyed writing a certain set of words over and over again.  
Unfortunately he had written on every single page. ‘Made in China’ or just ‘China’ written on every page in Chinese, English and any other language that they throw their way.  
“We should just let more American’s into Europe as tourist!” Alfred proclaimed. Usually at this point Kiku would agree with Alfred but he was currently not at the meeting. He apparently ‘wasn’t feeling well’ at the exact same time his boyfriend, Hercules, had to take care of a sick ‘cat’.  
“You idiot! We’re in a economic crisis because you are!” Arthur stood growling at him.  
“That’s because they started getting sick from English cooking,” Francis added in laughing.  
“What did you say? You ass!” Arthur jumped on Francis starting a fight with the Frenchman. Alfred stood there staring into the distance in thought like he was considering a life decision or trying to decide to nuke a whole country: you could never really tell with Alfred.  
“Oh yeah! I am to! Ahahahahahaha!” Alfred began laughing and watching Francis and Arthur fight, even cheering Arthur on at times.  
This was usually Yao’s cue to say something about immature young nations but he was too preoccupied with finding something to settle his urges.  
It seemed the whole meeting was falling apart today.  
“Ivan,” Yao whispered lighting touching Ivan’s shoulder. Ivan turned to him with that childish grin but his eyes widened in surprise.  
“Yes, Yao Yao?” Ivan turned his head in question. Yao scowled at the nickname- they weren’t dating or anything so he found the nickname inappropriate.  
“Do you have a spare piece of paper I could have: I filled my book?” Yao explained deciding not to comment on the nickname since he wanted something from Ivan (which had also worked with their treaty though Yao was ashamed to say he sucked up to Ivan a bit for him to agree on some of their terms).  
“Da, I packed a spare one today because mine was almost full but it seems I will not be taking many notes today so you can have it,” Ivan smiled passing the notebook to Yao.  
“Thank you, aru,” Yao smiled gratefully opening to the first page and pulling out his pen.  
He began to scribble down the common text that was actually printed on the back on this notebook: Made in China, Made in China, China, Made in China, China, China.  
Yao had discovered with his recent rise in exports and with all his factories printing the text on so many products he developed urges to write the text everywhere.  
It had started with just writing it in the corner of his notebooks, then he filled entire books with the text and now he actually caught himself scratching it into tables or on concrete pathways.  
Once he had to sneak out at night and spray paint it on the side of one of Ivan’s buildings at a world conference in Russia.  
He felt so guilty afterwards that he went back the next night and painted over it to amend his mistake.  
Yao had tried throwing out all his pens and baking some biscuits but he had shaped the chocolate treats to say China. So Yao returned to filling notebooks with the text written in reds, blues and blacks and then being added to the ever-growing pile in his bedroom whilst eating a hundred cookies in the shape of only five letters.  
Yao had decided not to say anything to his family, as it was a very strange addiction he had developed and he wasn’t that close to other nations he now sat near.  
Ludwig began to shake at the other end of the table as Gilbert had picked a fight with Roderick, which Matthew was dragging him away from now.  
Feliciano stood tapping Ludwig’s shoulder with a dorky smile. Ludwig relaxed leaning to one side to let the Italian whisper in his ear. Ludwig nodded sitting down calmly and letting the fights that had broken out in the room continue.  
Today’s meeting was very unusual indeed.  
Yao flipped pages scribbling on the double spread quickly. He poked his tongue out as he wrote China vertically in his native language.  
“Why do you write the same thing over and over again?” Ivan asked reading over his shoulder. Yao jumped slamming the book closed and blushing.  
No one seemed to notice them luckily so Yao hissed at him in a reply: “It’s just something that keeps happening- I keep getting strange urges to write China on everything.”  
“Oh, I get urges to drink sometimes- but I think that it’s common since my boss calls me an alcoholic,” Ivan informed the Asian man with a clueless grin. Sometime Yao thought Ivan was playing stupid because he was actually bright but then he realized that drinking the way he did was normal to Ivan.  
“You do drink to much, aru,” Yao replied flipping to the next page and beginning to write again.  
Ivan gave Yao a quiet laugh turning his attention back to the fight. He decided his money was on Arthur since he seemed angrier for some reason.  
“What are they fighting about this time?” Yao asked eyeing them unimpressed.  
“Something about the economy,” Ivan replied smiling innocently.  
“Idiots, aru,” Yao mumbled bringing his legs up to support the notepad.  
“It’s very amusing,” Ivan grinned letting out a soft giggle. Yao smirked watching Arthur pull Francis’ hair: this was actually quite amusing.  
“Agh! Let go you scone-burning-magic-weirdo!” Francis screamed trying to kick him off. He managed to get a hold of Arthur’s eyebrows and began to pull.  
“Shit! Let go!” Arthur pulled harder on Francis hair.  
“They fight like women on American TV shows,” Ivan commented. Yao snorted and let out a laugh.  
“Why hasn’t Ludwig yelled at them?” Yao asked leaning back on his seat to see the German talking to Elizabeta about something with a calm stoic look on his face.  
“Feliciano calmed him down, I think they’re an item now,” Ivan commented his eyes only skimming the nations before they returned to Yao. Yao didn’t notice staring in disbelief at the calm German man.  
“Let me guess: my siblings are trying to pull a prank on me,” Yao continued noticing Im So and Kaoru were missing.  
“No, they’re asleep behind you on the couch,” Ivan told him. Yao paused turning to kneel on his seat.  
He saw Im So had fallen asleep against Kaoru’s shoulder and Kaoru was leaning on Im So’s head snoring.  
“Taking Hercules place in his absence I see,” Yao laughed when Im So wrapped his arm around Kaoru and began stroking his chest mumbling something about boobs.  
“Where is he?” Ivan asked with a curious smile. Yao turned back around resting in his seat. He hated America’s place because the seats at his place were huge and made him feel small because Ivan always took up the whole seat and he barely covered half of it.  
“He said he was taking care of a sick cat and Kiku called in sick,” Yao told him emphasizing how much he didn’t believe Hercules was taking care of a cat.  
“Oh.” Ivan thought for a second. “Oh… I see,” Ivan smiled at Yao knowingly.  
Ivan was good company when he wasn’t being creepy or trying to get Yao to become one with him. Which meant when they weren’t alone together.  
Also they shared a common hate for certain nations (*cough*Alfred*cough*) and Ivan always listened so intently it made Yao feel important no matter what he was saying.  
Yao swore he could tell Ivan he was thinking about burning a few buildings today Ivan would calmly reply with the best accelerants to use and never tell a soul. That was the other thing he liked about Ivan: he always kept secrets and never felt the need to gossip about other nations.  
It could’ve been perhaps because he was often the victim of cruel gossip and really had no one to gossip with than Yao.  
Sure sometimes he went drinking with Alfred: he often spoke about how much he hated drinking with Alfred because he was louder when drunk and Ivan had to carry him home.  
He’s so heavy as well, Ivan would complain, and fat.  
Yao would scowl him for saying something like that about someone else but secretly he knew it was true and would laugh afterwards when Ivan was gone.  
“I’m hungry,” Alfred complained sitting down and watching his boyfriend fight.  
“I don’t care,” Ivan replied smiling innocently. Alfred glared at him poking his tongue out.  
“Your mum cares,” Alfred replied.  
“I don’t have a mother,” Ivan retorted. Yao sighed turning his attention back to his urges.  
Wow that sounded really dirty to Yao, maybe he should find another word for it.  
Alfred’s phone rang and he gave Ivan the finger answering his phone and walking off.  
Yao knew there bantering was nothing more than child’s play but it had become serious in the past so he always kept an eye on them when they picked on each other.  
“Hello, uhuh, oh… okay,” Alfred nodded. He glanced at Yao for a second and Yao felt a bit worried for a second and nervously began fiddling with his pen.  
“Now that you’ve both finished,” Ludwig began looking down in disgust at the beaten up nations, “it’s lunch time- you all have exactly one hour.”  
Many nations left quickly with only Feliciano and Ludwig taking a while for Ludwig to sort his papers. America was waiting for something and Arthur and Francis were trying to pick themselves off the floor.  
Yao sat unaware he was in his lunch break scratching away on his page in Chinese this time. Ivan started to look at him concerned for his well being and then took the notebook lifting it in the air high above his head.  
Yao looked confused like a young kitten then he began to chase it kneeling on his seat.  
“Hey! Ivan! Give it back,” Yao scowled trying to get the notebook back.  
“Yao, are you okay?” Alfred asked.  
“I’m fine, aru,” Yao snapped standing up to get his notebook back. Well Ivan’s notebook but he had given it to Yao. Ivan was also standing meaning he was able to keep the notebook far out of his reach.  
“Dude, your little sister just called and said she found heaps of books in your bedroom filled with the same thing. She said you’ve also scratched it into tables and painted it over and over again on a canvas,” Alfred explained. “That’s kind of creepy.”  
Yao slumped into his chair, going red as a tomato when Arthur and Francis sat down staring curiously at him.  
“It’s just been happening,” Yao explained. “I can’t explain it.”  
“How many notebooks have you filled?” Ivan asked his smile gone and replaced with concern.  
“A few… maybe 20…” Ivan raised an eyebrow not believing him. “Okay, aru, 42. I’ve filled 42 notebooks and scratched onto the back of my night stand and a few other places…”  
Yao decided not to mention the spray paint since he was still rather ashamed of it.  
“Maybe this is a problem,” Arthur suggested. Yao scowled at him crossing his arms over his chest.  
“It’s not a problem, aru, no one is getting hurt,” Yao scowled.  
“Yao, Kiku sent me this,” Alfred held up his phone to show Yao had actually planted China in herbs in his front lawn. “He said when he stayed over you were scratching it into the door with a nail file and when he tried to take it from you-“  
“My door has no marks on it,” Yao snapped.  
“Because it was your back door and you threw a nail file at him… in your sleep,” Alfred finished rather worried.  
“Oh…” Yao went a bit red laughing nervously, “oops.”  
“I think this is more serious than you’re making it out to be,” Ivan looked at him sideways worried with a tilted head.  
“Wait a second, I write the same thing over and over and I’m getting a talk but he drinks like there’s no tomorrow and it’s normal,” Yao pointed to Ivan with a childish scowl.  
“That’s because when he gets really drunk he just ask unsuspecting straight men to become one with him and falls asleep on bench’s cuddling an empty bottle of vodka,” Alfred rolled his eyes.  
“Exactly, and whilst Alfred’s constant eating will kill him one day nobody cares so it’s not a problem,” Ivan smiled.  
“Hey!” Alfred looked completely offended as Francis\ just laughed.  
“Ve, but if it’s affecting you in your sleep then you should probably deal with it,” Italy but in, sitting on the table near Yao.  
Ludwig looked up shocked wondering how he got all the way to the other end of the table in such a short time.  
“I guess,” Yao thought looking at the table worried. “I don’t even know why I’m doing it!”  
“It’s probably because you’re exporting so much with China printed on every product,” Ludwig added the idea. Yao bit his lip the sudden urge to write coming to him again.  
“Well, there has to be a way to make him stop,” Arthur announced as Yao turned his attention to his bag. He began shuffling through it looking for any paper he could write on.  
He found a pot of red paint and a small paintbrush. Yao’s best guess was that it was because he lost his regular meeting bag. So he had a choice between his hello kitty bag, a panda bag and his art bag.  
Obviously he chose the art bag to save him self the ridicule.  
Yao started ignoring the group again and stared over at his siblings. This would be a great way to get back at them and he would be able to cure his urge for now.  
Yao slipped out of his seat undetected and kneeled near his siblings opening the pot and dipping his paintbrush in.  
He smiled testing the paint on their skin.  
“Good, it works,” Yao nodded beginning to paint their faces with the text.  
“Yao,” Ivan called out to him. Yao paused turning and staring at the group. Arthur shook his head face palming.  
“Sorry, I can’t control it, aru,” Yao apologised wincing.  
“Ugh, what’s going on?” Kaoru began to wake up. Yao jumped finishing the text and hiding the evidence behind his back. Yao kneeled there staring at the two wide-eyed.  
“Uh…” Yao coughed, “It’s lunch time.”  
“Oh, okay,” Kaoru looked down to see Im So snuggling him. “Wake up idiot.”  
Kaoru hit Im So earning a whimper from the smaller nation.  
“Don’t talk to your brother like that,” Yao snapped. Kaoru pushed him off not even seeing the paint on his brother’s face and walked out.  
Im So groaned rolling off the couch and crawling out.  
“See you brother,” He waved sleepily over one shoulder. Yao raised an eyebrow as they left.  
The door slammed and Yao stood walking back to the group with his head bowed like a guilty child. He looked to one side when Ivan began to tap his foot with his arms crossed.  
“Sorry,” Yao apologised again. Ivan held out a hand and Yao placed the paint in his hand grumbling.  
“And the brush,” Ivan urged. Yao passed it to him sitting down with his arms crossed.  
“So it’s just something that happens, oui? Like being horny,” Francis asked in his own special way.  
“Not like being horny, like when you have a sudden need to eat a certain food or a-“  
“It’s like that show strange addictions,” Alfred announced. Ivan sat the paint down with the brush on top and it was in Yao’s reach. Yao knew he had done that on purpose.  
“Nobody watches your crap TV shows,” Arthur commented glaring at him.  
“Well… you suck to,” Alfred retorted.  
“Eloquent, dear Alfred,” He commented sarcastically.  
“Ve, when Ludwig started cleaning everything to the extreme all we did is made a small mess on the table and Luddy wasn’t allowed to touch it,” Italy explained.  
“If I did then Feliciano had full permission to make a huge mess in the kitchen and invite his brother and those three over,” Ludwig commented.  
“I tried that,” Yao admitted, “and tried to distract myself with cooking but then I started…”  
“You started?” Alfred urged him on.  
“Baking things in the shapes of those letters, aru,” Yao admitted letting his head fall to the desk.  
“That is a problem Yao,” Ivan nodded his eyebrows merging in worry.  
“I know!” Yao snapped glaring at the Russian. Ivan laughed lightly looking away completely unfazed.  
“Maybe you should do what my boss tried to do to stop me drinking,” Ivan said raising one finger.  
“Throw out all your vodka?” Yao asked. Ivan looked at him shocked like he had said Ivan could die in a hole and kiss his Asian ass.  
“That’s very mean- he’d never do that. He just wanted me to cut back,” Ivan nodded his face serious for only a second.  
“What did he do?” Arthur asked.  
“First he sent me to a psychologist… but he quit and moved to Canada,” Ivan began, “then he put tape over my mouth and locked me in my bedroom. I went 10 hours without a single drop of vodka and now I’ve cut way back on how much I drink.”  
“No you haven’t,” Alfred snorted.  
“Yes I have: now I only drink when I know you’re coming,” Ivan smiled at Alfred.  
“Oh… well that is cutting back,”  
“And in the morning, and sometimes for dinner.”  
“It’s less then you used drink,” Yao finished sarcastically rolling his eyes. “Well I can just throw all my notepad and pens out and um…”  
“Tape your hands together,” Ivan finished.  
“What? But I need my hands, aru,” Yao gaped glaring at Ivan.  
“Well we can just take turns in taking care of you and monitor your progress,” Alfred shrugged.  
“Easy,” Feliciano cheered jumping off the table. “Let’s go eat Luddy, I saw this little Italian place down the road and it smelt amazing!”  
“Feliciano, maybe we should eat something else. You don’t travel to another country to eat food… from your own country,” Ludwig suggested.  
“Silly Luddy,” Feliciano laughed, “Italian food is the nicest but we can have Chinese if you want.”  
Ludwig nodded in agreement as they left.  
“Okay so who has masking tape?” Alfred asked smiling at all of them with his hands on his hips like some hero.  
“Oh, I do,” Ivan leant to one side pulling the tape out of his bag.  
“Why do you have tape on you? Only kidnappers carry masking tape on them!” Yao scowled backing away. Ivan simply laughed stretching the tape out.  
“If I wanted to kidnap you Yao Yao, then I already would have,” Ivan explained his eyes glowing with something mysterious. “Hands.”  
“No, I refuse, I have legitimate reasons to use my hands!” Yao refused backing away on his seat.  
“Then you can tell the person who’s watching you and they’ll temporarily take the tape off,” Alfred explained.  
“This is ridiculous,” Yao tried to backed away as far as he could. Ivan passed the tape to Alfred and leant foreword easily snatching Yao’s arm.  
Ivan’s hands were gloved like usual and the cool leather refused to let Yao slip out of Ivan’s grip, as he was dragged foreword. Yao tried to pull back but Ivan’s strength was far greater than Yao’s.  
“No! Aiyah! This is disrespectful! Why are we taking ideas from the country who needed a psychologist?” Yao questioned as he was forced to lean over the table.  
“It was only once,” Ivan laughed. Yao squeezed his eyes shut feeling Ivan place his hands around Yao’s and squashed them flat together.  
Alfred wrapped the tape around Yao’s hands making sure he had them securely fastened together before Ivan let go.  
“His hands are so tiny,” Alfred laughed throwing the tape to Ivan. Ivan caught it slipping the tape back in his bag.  
“I know, they are like women’s hands, da?” Ivan teased not paying attention to Yao chucking a hissy fit behind him.  
“So you can take him first Francis?” Alfred asked watching the French man hopefully.  
“Oui, however I need to be in my home since my boss has requested to see me,” Francis gave Yao an apologetic look.  
“No worries, we’ll just get your sister… uh…” Alfred racked his brain for the name.  
“Mei, aru,” Yao sighed.  
“Yeah, Mei, I knew that. We’ll just get Mei to pack you a bag,” Alfred announced whipping out his phone.  
“Fine, I still don’t think this is necessary though,” Yao snapped glaring at the group.  
Alfred wandered off talking to his sister, Francis was laughing and smiling and Arthur was ignoring them all packing up his bag. Ivan smiled at him his eyes sparking like they always do when he looked at Yao. Yao scowled at him as purple clashed with a warm brown chocolate colour. Yao’s eyes shot down and he blushed when the intense look in Ivan’s eyes tried to say something to him.  
Ivan’s eyes were always speaking and trying to tell the world what he dared not say to another soul.  
“Can you put my bag on?” Yao asked. Ivan’s eyes flashed down to the bag. “Please.”  
“Da,” Ivan leant down picking up. He closed it up and put it over the smaller mans frame.   
  
~SeeleFairyWitch~


	2. Francis' Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> China is experiencing a weird problem: he is can't help but write his name on everything. The other nations decide he needs to stop and Ivan so kindly suggests a way for him to stop. However when the urges become too much and the only thing he has is chocolate sauce and Ivan as his canvas Yao cracks. Rated M. Rochu. R&R

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So second chapter is at Franics' house where he has to deal with a lot of awkward and lack of manliness on Yao's behalf. Sorry but I need some lead up to the Rochu :D
> 
> R&R?

Yao sat awkwardly on France's nice white couch looking around and the beautifully decorated lounge room he was prisoner in. Everything seemed to be spotless with a reasonable sized television on the cabinet in front of him. However the movies underneath were all named things like 'Wizard of Oz, adult version,' and 'Naughty school girl versus the teacher of good looks' meaning they were all porn.

Yao shifted nervously pulling on the couch pulling the tape around his hands, however it was firmly stuck to him and made it impossible to break free. Francis had disappeared a little while ago- something about getting on his cleaning clothes to dust the house before his boss came. Something Yao was not looking foreword to in the least bit.

Knock, Knock, Yao's head shot up and to the door as Francis rounded the corner with a duster in one hand and a frilling pink apron on. He swished his blonde locks laughing.

Yao gaped: the frilly pink apron was all Francis was wearing and Yao could see his bare ass from the couch. Yao shot up following him down the hall and hoping and fearing all at the same time that this was his ticket out of here: Mei.

"Ah, bonjour, Madame Mei," Francis bowed and Yao almost puked on Francis' fresh red roses at the sight. Yao snuck around him to get on the covered side of the French man and shot back a glare.

"Brother," Mei cheered hugging her brother close until Yao's hands were awkwardly pressed between her breasts. Yao pulled his hands up and over her head unsure of what he could touch. He had been unsure of where his hands should go since she hit puberty and bit popped out everywhere.

Yao still remember when she walked out in a tight top and Yao almost fainted at the size of her. He couldn't imagine Ivan's face when Ukraine started developing.

Yao had cried all night at the fact she was no longer his little sister.

"Mei, are you okay?" Yao asked. Mei pulled back giggling at her older brothers questioning. Like always big brother Yao was worried about her and constantly asking the same question.

It was worse when they had alone time and Yao began questioning her on what every nation in the world had said to her. He especially hovered around Francis and Ivan for different reasons because Francis was a pervert after Mei in Yao's eyes and Ivan was a pervert after Yao who would constantly ask Mei questions about the smaller man to figure out his schedule.

"I'm fine, you worry to much." She laughed bonking his nose. She loved how cute her big brother could be when he was worried or angry at something else. "I see they've already taped your hands together," She noticed playing with the strap of her bag.

"Is there any chance I can go home with you?" Yao asked staring into her brown eyes with a pleading look in his chocolate brown eyes. So that was where Mei got her puppy dog eyes from- She had to admit Yao could use them to his full advantage.

"I'm sorry brother," She sighed looking away to avoid the disappointment in his eyes, "I have a female nations meeting soon and I don't want to leave you at home alone," She sighed. Then her eyes shot to Francis and she went red as he turned around strutting off revealing his white ass.

Yao followed her eyes and scowled at the sight of that same ass.

"Would you please put some clothes on, aru?" Yao snapped glaring at him. Francis paused turning to the siblings and laughing at the sight of Mei's shocked face in contrast with how mad Yao looked.

"Why? Am I turning you on?" Francis wiggled his ass with a teasing laugh. Yao's mouth dropped and he turned blocking Mei's sight from Francis' little show.

"I brought your bag," She took it off revealing it was, in fact, Yao's Hello Kitty bag.

Out of all the bags in the world… she chose the one that would degrade his manliness he most. Yao felt lucky he wasn't at Ivan's house because he was pretty sure the Russian would think- Yao tied up + hello kitty bag + his glaring at me = I should pounce him and screw him senseless. It probably was more complicated than that but Yao was sure he covered the basics of Ivan's complex mind.

"You had to use that bag?" Yao asked going bright red.

"It was the only one I could find," She made the excuse but Yao could see the evil glint in her eyes, "I packed you spare clothes, pyjama's, some dumplings, your tea, two movies and your hair brush."

"Did you pack my wok?" Yao asked eyeing Francis strut around dusting things with swaying hips and a victorious smirk after seeing the bag.

"No, I did pack your underwear though, the cute red ones," She scuffed his hair squealing the last part.

"That's great, aru," Yao replied sarcastically slumping as the manliness poured from him and onto puddles on the floor.

"Here you go, and if you need anything call Kaoru and, if you apologize for writing on his face, then he might come and get you," Mei looked worriedly at him.

"Brat, Im So too?"

"He's traumatized," She replied. Yao snickered imagining Im So's face when he noticed that written on his face. He'd be so shocked that Yao finally got pay back for Im So writing 'Originated in South Korea' all over his kitchen.

"I have to go," She sighed patting his hair with a warming smile. She put the bag on him, further degrading his manliness, and kissed his cheek taking Yao's other bag since he would no longer need it.

"Okay, bye, have fun and remember to fight the urge," She smiled sympathetically patting his hair. Yao smiled at her, his eyes turned grateful and caring and once again Mei was reminded of how Yao used to look at her when she was younger. He was so always so big to the younger her and Mei still remembered Kaoru saying that Yao was like a god or something since he could take care of all of them and his own people at the same time.

She knew now Yao was an immortal like the rest of them but he was older and wiser than her. He also loved Mei with all his heart and would do anything for her. Mei always loved how Yao was there for her to hug and receive love and understanding from.

Whenever she was sad he'd still cook another sweet snack and they'd sit around watching Wuxia films in the dark with Kaoru, Im So and Kiku if he wasn't too busy. Once even Ivan had joined them much to Yao's dismay and Mei's major fan girl feelings that she got at the sight of the two sitting so close.

"I love you," She gave him a big hug feeling Yao's hand awkwardly move away his hands from her chest.

"I love you to, be careful," He finished as she turned waving to him over one shoulder. "Don't fall asleep at the airport! Watch out for kidnappers!"

"Okay brother! Bye!"

"Don't talk to strangers!" Yao finished as she disappeared into a taxi. Then his last hope of escape was gone and he was stuck with Francis.

"Oh you two are so cute," Francis attacked him from behind holding the Asian man close. Yao froze feeling the bile in his stomach begin to rise and churn.

"Please let go of me, aru," Yao requested trying to struggle out of his grip. Yao felt a leg wrap around him and Francis rubbed against him with all his glory.

Francis was unaware of his close proximity freaking the prudish Asian man out and really if he did know he wouldn't care in the slightest bit. He'd take any opportunity to share the love with his favorite Asian.

"Get off me!" Yao screamed kicking and writing in Francis' muscled arms.

"You perverted Frog, leave him alone," Arthur snapped arriving at the door with no warning. Yao pushed Francis away and laid flat against the wall glaring before he turned to the English man.

England looked jerky as always with his thick eyebrows merged into a huge caterpillar and that familiar pout on his lips. Yao realized that it was the same pout he gave people and then decided to never do it again since it looked very unattractive on Arthur.

"We were sharing the love," Francis cooed smiling like an idiot at Arthur. Arthur raised and eyebrow looking Yao up and down as if to question Yao about the statement.

"If you're finished then I'm here to pick you up. Unless you want to stay longer and…" He looked back at Francis, "Share the love," Arthur mused with a small grin.

"Are you going to keep your clothes on?" Yao asked.

"Do I look French or Italian?" Arthur asked as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

"Then yes I'm done and we can go, aru," Yao stepped out the door trying to escape. He felt a hand on his shoulder and Francis pulled him back.

"But Mon Cher, we were going to watch a movie together," Francis looked at him sadly with a glint of hope in his eyes. Yao scoffed glaring when he noticed for the first time he was wearing cat ears.

"All your movies are porn films!" Yao snapped shoving him away and turning almost flicking his hair as he strutted off.

"You're no fun Yao, no wonder why monsier Russie hasn't made a move on you yet," Francis teased.

"He makes moves on me every day," Yao yelled back urging Arthur to hurry his prissy English ass up.

"Then why are you not dating?" Francis asked the simple question. Yao glared at him as the door to the taxi was opened and he fell in moving right over to stay as far away from Arthur as possible.

If Yao thought Francis was awkward then he obviously didn't realize that Arthur would be twice as awkward and half as generous toward Yao's 'situation'.

Not only was Yao agitated from not being able to write but also he had to deal with the one man that could get on his nerves by speaking.

This was going to challenge his generally non-violent persona he had developed in the past couple of years and probably drive him nuts in the process.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So there will be violence in the next chapter thanks to Hong Kong whose human name will be Kaoru b.t.w.
> 
> R&R?
> 
> -See le Fairy Witch-


	3. Arthur's Cottage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey, thanks to everyone who's reviewed, faved, followed or read my story. I'm actually enjoying writing these chapters.
> 
> So this chapter his at Arthur's house, which is hard because the two don't get along especially when a certain nation is the topic at hand.
> 
> Reveiws make me happy which mean I update faster
> 
> R&R?

Yao sat across the table from Arthur his hands taped in his lap. Arthur tapped the table awkwardly not sure of how he should approach a conversation with someone who looked like… well he looked like he was trying to kill Arthur with the power of his mind.

"Are you having any urges?" Arthur asked watching Yao as he shuffled uncomfortably in his seat. He glared at some poor mailman through the window who gave him a curious look.

"Yes, and I'm losing feeling in my hands," Yao said but he sounded angry rather than in pain or upset.

"Right, would you like a cup of tea?" Arthur asked leaning across the table with pair of scissors in his hand. He slowly cut the tape making sure not to cut Yao's hands.

"Yes, xie xie," Yao replied pulling his hands from the tape and stretching them. His face seemed to visually relax despite still looking mad. Maybe it was because of the red marks the tape had left behind.

"How do you have your tea?" Arthur asked his back to Yao.

"Black, four sugars, aru," Yao replied balling the tape up and searching the room for a bin. "Where is your bin?"

Arthur turned his head his eyes lazily scanning the room. He sighed: "Here, Alfred has obviously moved the bin for no reason."

Yao reached out having to roll his fingers to unstick the tape from his hands and give it to Arthur.

Arthur sat the silver tape in the bin and picked up two cups.

"It's nice to have someone over I can trust to handle my delicate tea set," Arthur sighed sitting down. He passed a cup to Yao sitting it on a saucer. Yao never saw the point of those tiny little plates, what was their purpose?

"Xie xie," Yao thanked him taking the teacup and sipping the hot tea. He let a smile cross his face when the sweet drink ran down his throat. Despite it being English tea infused with no flavor the large amount of sugar compensated for the bland taste.

"How have you been? I don't think we've talked like this for a long time," Arthur began.

"We have never talked like anything," Yao corrected his eyes flashing in anger.

"Yes," Arthur's hand set strong and his teeth gritted. For a second they seemed to be having a staring contest.

"I've been well…" Yao finally spoke, "recently my country has been very strong," Yao added sitting his cup down.

"I've noticed, your experience has really done your country well," Arthur replied. Yao hated talking to Arthur: he always felt so awkward and all he could see when he looked into Arthur's green eyes was a flash of red and the cry of a young Kaoru.

Yao bit his lip his eyes flashing down and taking a deep breath. Yao had forgiven long ago but sometimes he was reminded of the pain.

"How have you been? I hear you and Alfred are celebrating two years together, aru," Yao picked his tea up sipping it again. Arthur licked his lips, his cheeks flashed red and he looked down quickly.

"Yes, we went out to dinner to celebrate and then the next night I had a very drunk Alfred call me at 8 in the morning," Arthur rolled his eyes.

"That was the night that he and Ivan passed out on my lawn and I had to turn the sprinklers on," Yao rolled his eyes.

"They are both gits,"

"Immature children," Yao shook his head in agreement. "Not as bad as you when you drink though."

"Once again you insist on bringing up that one Christmas," Arthur scowled. Yao laughed a teasing grin crossing his face.

"You were dancing half naked on the table," Yao snickered.

"Not like when you got so wasted you tried to force Ivan to become one with you," Arthur countered. Yao paused glaring at him with a blush crossing his cheeks.

"It was payback, aru," Yao explained his head snapping back to glare at people walking by. Like maybe they were to blame for that night Yao had scared the living day lights out of Ivan and almost mentally scared him.

There was an awkward silence when they both recalled that one time they had just drank too much.

"I'd still like to know why he carries around duck tape," Yao spat. Arthur snickered shaking his head.

"I think he was planning on taping Alfred to a pole when they went drinking after the meeting," Arthur explained.

"I'd expect nothing less," Yao rolled his eyes but he smirked at the thought of Ivan's prank.

Arthur's phone started ringing making the English man stare confused at the device.

"Excuse me," Arthur held up a finger flipping his phone open as he left. "Hello, Arthur Kirkland speaking."

Yao turned his attention back to his tea seeing he was actually finished. He groaned sitting it down and looking back outside. In the distance the town of London bustled on: buses ran past and people walked by each other not caring for the cloudy conditions and rain pouring down.

Inside where Yao sat everything seemed so peaceful compared to the busy practices that went on outside.

Yao started to fidget and his fingers itched to scratch the familiar text into this table. No, Yao refused to make a nuisance of himself at Arthur's place.

"I'll be right there, goodbye," Arthur clicked his phone shut and turned to Yao. "I have to go out. Do you need to go to the bathroom?"

"No," Yao shook his head as Arthur began digging around in his drawers.

"Then I'll tape your hands and put a DVD on," Arthur pulled out the familiar silver tape that made Yao feel sick.

Yao sighed holding out his hands. He couldn't bare watching Arthur tape his hands together and then start to go through the girly bag for the two DVD's.

Arthur placed on the movie pressing a few buttons and turning the volume up.

"Is that loud enough?" Arthur asked. Yao stood falling onto his couch and leaning back.

"Xie xie, that's fine," Yao nodded his head. Arthur walked to the window closing the curtains and sitting Yao's bag down.

"You're bag," Arthur grinned.

"It's not mine," Yao snapped blushing. "It's Mei's."

"Sure it is," Arthur laughed turning to the door. "I'll be back in half an hour."

Yao made a noise in reply his eyes already transfixed to the opening title. Arthur was bemused at how a nation like Yao could be so entranced by the same two movies he had watched a million times.

* * *

Arthur turned the key in the door hearing the clink of the lock moving out of the way.

"Yao is watching a movie inside, I'm sure he hasn't made a mess in the last hour," Arthur informed Kaoru who stood behind him. As soon as he had finished his meeting Kaoru had called informing him of his arrival in London and demanded to be picked up.

"It's one of his favorite movies so not much could distract him," Kaoru replied in monotone like always. .

Arthur nodded and pushed open the door hitting something with a loud thud. He looked around as paper rained down from the sky. It was like it was snowing in Arthur's house but every single piece of paper had the same thing written on it in dark black ink.

_Made in China, Made in China, made in china, made in china._

Arthur's mouth fell as he slowly looked down to see Yao sitting on the ground rubbing his nose and groaning.

"This wasn't my doing," Yao explained. "Okay… maybe it was, I found paper." Kaoru pulled out his phone and began to record Yao sitting on the ground smiling nervously.

"I see that…" Arthur looked around at the paper covering the ground.

"I only pulled the tape off because I needed to go to the bathroom," Yao explained coughing.

"Where on earth did you get so much paper?" Arthur asked knowing he didn't have this much paper in his house.

"Uh… well, I found some in your house in the printer," Yao mumbled the last part.

"You're worse than a drug addict," Kaoru explained knowing it would anger the smaller Asian.

"I am not!" Yao snapped. Arthur sighed looking up at his former colony. Kaoru had gotten tall despite his race and now he was a bit taller than Arthur.

"Your hair is getting long," Arthur commented brushing his finger along the long bangs. Kaoru flinched his eyes shooting to Arthur. "Your face is dirty," Arthur scowled licking his fingers and beginning to run Kaoru's face.

Yao felt twitchy again as he hadn't written on anything in ten minutes and watching Arthur mother Kaoru made him jealous and mad. His eye twitched his hand coming up ready to attack the man who was touching his baby brother.

"Don't touch him!" Yao yelled jumping foreword and barging into Arthur. Arthur fell back and they both stumbled onto the brick path.

Kaoru held up his phone recording the two's fight thinking this was better than the paper flying everywhere.

"He used to be my colony to," Arthur countered rolling so he was on top of Yao. Yao kneed him in the stomach and used both his legs to launched Arthur into his flowerbed.

He stood jumping in after him and wrestling the poor English man into the dirt.

"You mean when you stole him!" Yao yelled hitting his head against the floor. Arthur managed to grab Yao's long hair and yanked it. Yao screamed falling to one side and Arthur rolled on top trying to hold Yao down.

"Doesn't mean that he wasn't my colony!" Arthur countered and held back a hand slapping Yao across the face. Yao gasped looking shocked at Arthur for a minute.

Then his face turned angry and he brought back a fist landing it square in Arthur's jaw.

Arthur fell back tumbling along the dirt and ramming against his fence until he finally fell to the ground dizzy. Yao stood stumbling to one side. He walked to the fence using his incredible balance to stand on top of the wooden fence and glare down at the groaning and unaware English man.

"Kaoru is not your colony anymore you jerk! Leave him alone!" Yao yelled and jumped landing right on Arthur's stomach. Arthur tried to scream but his lungs were almost crushed by the blow and all that came out was a strangled cry for air.

Kaoru winced feeling that one then grinned at how incredibly rough his elder brother could be in times of great jealousy. It was actually the funniest thing he had ever seen: and it was all his fault! This only made it better for the younger Chinaman.

Yao stood and Arthur grabbed his legs tripping Yao into a pile of fertilizer face first.

Yao kicked hitting Arthur in the jaw and rolled over to see the English man holding his nose in case it was broken.

Yao let out one victorious laugh before Arthur stood on his feet and dragged Yao by his legs through the garden.

"Agh! Shit! Jerk!" Yao growled kicking his legs with little success. Arthur dropped his legs feeling tired. Yao stood wrestling him into a bush.

Kaoru couldn't see them fighting but he could see the leaves flying out of the bush and hear the two yelling at one another. Yao actually changed to Chinese half way though one scream then back to English when Arthur said he was a 'bloody foreigner'.

"Racist pig!" Yao yelled and _slap, crunch!_ Arthur groaned.

Alfred pushed open the gate just as the two rolled back out of the bush and began to struggle for power on the lawn.

"How long have they been-?" Alfred didn't need to finish.

"Uh, a while," Kaoru replied. "Yao's winning."

"Woah! Awesome! Fight!" Gilbert cheered pulling Matthew through the gate. "Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!"

"We should pull them apart," Matthew told Alfred. Arthur used his arm to hold back Yao. Yao stretched his arms out struggling to reach Arthur for a short while then crunching down on his arm.

"Fuck! You bit me!" Arthur yelled kicking me off.

"You tasted worse than your poisonous cooking!" Yao countered once he had finished rolling.

"Why you! I'll teach you to insult a Englishman's cooking!" Arthur yelled jumping on Yao.

"You mean those hard rocks you call scones!" Yao growled his hands around Arthur's throat.

"At least they last longer than half the stuff your country produces!" Arthur pushed Yao away and stood. The two began to circle each other panting and puffing.

"You inconsiderate jerk face, it's hard when I'm supplying half the world including your asshole boyfriend," Yao spat, "Wǒ zǔzhòu nǐ yào yǒngyuǎn zài dìyù!"

"What did he just say?" Alfred asked Kaoru.

"He said you were an idiot,"

"Not that, the bit in Chinese," Alfred glared.

"Oh, he just said _I curse you to spend eternity in hell_ , right after he called you an asshole" Kaoru translated with a small grin.

"Maybe we should break them up now," Alfred sighed looking worried at the two and ignoring Yao's names for him.

Despite them both proclaiming to be proper nations that were over their days of violence and one actually having a deal with their French friend to go easy on each other in fights because of age they both looked pretty battered.

"Don't look at me," Kaoru shook his head. "I'm not getting in-between Yao and who he's mad at."

"I'll grab the little one and you hold back Arthur," Gilbert commented. Alfred nodded as they both approached the two.

* * *

Yao sat on the couch: his hair was a mess with leaves and crushed flowers in it. The fact it was black didn't hide the dirt in it that spread to his face. His cheeks had light claw marks down them and were grazed from face planting in the fertilizer. Yao touched the red mark around his neck lightly wincing. His top was filthy and he knew he had a bruise on his stomach from Arthur hitting him. His knees were grazed where his pants had ripped and there were bruises on his ankles where Arthur had dragged him around.

Arthur was in worse condition with leaves in his messy hair and even in his eyebrows. He had a bruise on his jaw and his neck was also red from Yao's hands. He rubbed his stomach where a huge bruise was forming from Yao jumping on him. His legs were cut and grazed like Yao's and there was a rather small bite mark on his arm. To top it all off dry blood painted a trail form his nose to his lips despite not being broken Yao had landed a fairly good hit.

Gilbert, Karou and Alfred all laughed watching the fight again on the video. Matthew sighed shaking his head at the three. He seemed to be the only one not watching the video for the fifth time in the half an hour they had been sitting there.

Yao glared at Arthur blaming him for the whole mess. Arthur countered his glare with his own steely eyes.

"I love the part Yao jumps on Arthur at the beginning, that's just-" Gilbert laughed again holding his stomach. "Golden, fucking great, good job Yao."

"I think when Yao jumped Arthur it was great," Alfred cackled wiping a tear from his eyes. Kaoru held back a snicker watching the scene he had taped.

"You're posting this on your blog, right?" Gilbert asked.

"And I'm going to send it to all the nations," Kaoru replied. Gilbert lost it again when Arthur began dragging Yao along the dirt and a mixture of curses came from the Asian nation.

Yao turned his glare to the idiot trio and huffed. Arthur also joined in burning holes in his boyfriend's head.

"How many ice packs do you need?" Matthew asked them both.

"Three thank you," Arthur rubbed his jaw.

"Just two please," Yao leant foreword and his back cracked. "Maybe three."

Matthew nodded disappearing into the kitchen- guess it was up to him to take care of the old men in the lounge room.

"How's the urge to write now?" Alfred asked grinning.

"Gone, thank you," Yao replied. Matthew returned passing them both the piles of ice packs.

Yao hissed placing one on his stomach, one on his sore back and one on his head feeling a headache coming on.

Arthur placed two on his poor tortured stomach and one on his cheek glaring at Yao.

"Kaoru, don't send that to anyone," Yao ordered.

"I could listen to you but it's too late," Karou shrugged replaying the video. Yao's upper lip twitched into a snarl and his eye began to spasm.

"You sent it to Ivan to, right? He'd enjoy that beyond fucking compared," Alfred laughed.

"I did, he just e-mailed back saying his favorite was the insult Yao gave you," Kaoru replied.

"How did I know it would be?" Alfred rolled his eyes.

"He also asked if we wanted him to show Yao's boss to confirm where Yao is right now," Kaoru rubbed his chin an evil glint in his eyes.

"Yeah, might as well," Alfred shrugged. Kaoru nodded in agreement quickly messaging back.

"I blame you for this lack of discipline. You had him from child hood until he was a teenager, aru, same with Alfred," Yao accused Arthur.

"They were misbehaved when I got them," Arthur replied in a sneer.

"Okay, so you both need a shower then Yao will go to Alfred's place, right?" Matthew turned to Alfred trying to keep everyone on track.

"What? Oh, Arthur and I are going out tonight, can you take him Mattie?" Alfred asked his eyes flashing from the screen of Kaoru's phone.

"Well…"

"Sure," Gilbert grinned. "He can sleep in the spare room… on the other side of the house, right Birdie?"

"Uh, of course, you're welcome to stay at my place," Matthew smiled at Yao.

"Xie Xie, I'd appreciate that," Yao bowed his head trying to avoid eye contact. He saw that the couple obviously had plans and promised him self that he wouldn't disturb them tonight, even if that meant he'd have to lie in his bed until the late hours of the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: DONE! Yah, this was actually enjoyable to write.
> 
> Also I think Yao bad mouthing America is a kinky thing for him :D
> 
> So Review please and next chapter a little hint of PruCan.
> 
> R&R?
> 
> -See le Fairy Witch-


	4. Matthew's Lodge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This story was supposed to end in a few chapters but I feel like writing more. 
> 
> ~SeeleFairyWitch~

 

Yao let out a deep sigh falling back onto the bed. The bed creaked under his weight and bounced him back up a bit. In the darkness of the room a single bedside light illuminated Yao's tired, bruised face and over-sized pyjama's.

Now Yao lay in his bed with no pens or paper, his hands were itching to write but being taped together he couldn't even scratch. Yao hoped to hell he wouldn't have to pee halfway through the night because the nice Canadian boy and Gilbert were having a romantic night that Yao didn't want to disturb.

_Ring Ring,_ Yao's phone, which sat near the light, lit up and buzzed. Yao let out a groan crawling up to it and successfully opening it with his mouth.

"Hello?" Yao tilted his body to one side pushing his ear against the device.

"Yao Yao, it's Ivan," Ivan's cheerful voice came through the phone confusing the Chinaman.

"Oh, hello Ivan," Yao let the confusion come through his tone.

"I just called to see how you were going," Ivan mused a hint of humor in his accent.

"How many times have you watched it?" Yao asked in monotone glaring at the image of Yao lazing back on a couch with a glass a vodka in one hand, he'd have a big grin on his face like he had won something. Ivan laughed throwing his head back: Ivan had a deep chuckle when he was actually laughing though Yao had only heard it a few times. No Ivan sounded like he was lying back on something: maybe he was in the bath. It wouldn't be the first time he had called Yao in the bathtub. Yao imagined he'd be lying back with his feet up, still with the glass of vodka and- Yao shook his head. He was far to old to be imagining naked younger men in the bathtub. 

"About twenty times, you did very well Yao Yao. You really showed that snobby Englishman who is best," Ivan commented.

"I think he came out worse than I did," Yao gave a cocky side grin accepting that as a compliment.

"He did end up with a bite mark and that jump you did had to have left him with a bruise in the best case scenario," Ivan shook his head watching the video on his laptop.

"I didn't break anything if that's what you're implying,"

Ivan let out a soft laugh: "Where are you now?"

"Matthew and Gilbert's place, aru," Yao replied.

"Ah, I'd come and visit you but Gilbert does not fancy me much. In fact he threw a branch at me last time I visited Matthew," Ivan explained examining Yao's hair flutter in the breeze as he jumped on Arthur. He felt a smile tug at his lips seeing how fierce such a beautiful creature could be when you pushed the right buttons.

"That's fine, I'm just about to go to bed anyway," Yao explained glaring at the tape.

"Well, goodnight then, I hope not to see more video's of you tomorrow but you never know you may have to fight Matthew," Ivan teased. Yao scowled at the comment making a small noise surly noise.

"Good _night_ ," Yao replied snapping his phone shut.

Ivan's smile faded and he looked down at the video. It had paused on Yao sitting on the ground his big dark eyes and hair, making a stunning contrast to the pristine white paper that fell around him.

"I love you, goodnight," Ivan whispered into the speaker. Of course he knew Yao didn't hear him, probably mumbling under his breath as he snuggled up in bed. How Ivan wanted to be with him right now, wrapping an arm around him and protecting him from the cold temperatures in Canada that mimicked Russian winters.

He hit the play button one more time, just like a bed time story- Yao's grace and fierce moves would surely allow him to get more than 2 hours sleep like last night.

Ivan hung up and laughed watching Yao's face turn from fear to a pure rage he rarely saw on Yao's fine features.

"He's so protective of his younger siblings," Ivan shook his head with a laugh.

Ivan admired that about Yao. He was a angel, that was the one thing Ivan knew for sure.

Ivan re-winded the video pausing just as Yao scowled at the camera, his eyes turning dark with pure hatred and his entire form crumbling ready to pounce.

Just thinking about Yao's toned and sculpted body turned him on- he still remembered walking in on Yao with no top on and Yao scowled at him. All Ivan wanted to do was run his hand down that tense body and pull Yao into a mind-numbing kiss that would lead to them making love.

Though he didn't because he wouldn't force himself on Yao. He knew nothing good came from being impatient, so he waited for Yao to return his feelings.

The only problem was that he couldn't read the older man that well. Sometimes he thought Yao liked him back then he'd scowl at Ivan and kick him out.

He wished Yao would see the little signs Ivan gave him. The sunflowers, the invites to his place, the way he looked at Yao and even the way he'd only laughed in front of Yao for over sixty years.

Of course he wanted to try being bluntly obvious but he didn't want to scare Yao off.

Years and years of joking around, playing tricks on Yao all for nothing if he was too pushy.

Ivan sighed rubbing his eyes- he wasn't going to get much sleep tonight at all.

* * *

Yao groaned, the sunlight hit his eyes making him grumble and roll away from the bright lights.

He knew that meant he had to get up but he didn't want to move for some reason. He brought his hands up to his face feeling cool plastic against his face.

"What?" Yao's eyes shot open to see the tape. Then he remembered his previous days filled with an almost around the world travel and the longest plane ride he'd ever made.

"Great," Yao sighed sitting up. Usually he would pat down his hair but his hands prevented him from doing such an activity.

He wore his general pyjama's though they didn't do much against the cold.

_Knock, knock, knock,_ Matthew popped his head in the door smiling.

He laughed seeing Yao look at him with groggy and rather confused brown eyes.

"Good morning, I washed your clothes for you," He pushed the door open sitting Yao's clothes on a nearby bench.

There was a pair of scissors in his back pocket that he retrieved approaching Yao.

"Here," He snipped open the tape letting Yao stretch his hands.

"Xie xie," Yao thanked him examining that bright smile and shining eyes. Of course he looked a little bit like America but his hair was lighter and his eyes purple like Ivan's.

Yao's head tilted noticing that both of the coldest countries in the world had purple eyes. It was an interesting concept that's downfall was in the form of an Austrian.

Maybe there was something else the four purple-eyed nations had in common.

Yao didn't bother trying to think about it right now as his hands were free and an amazing smell was wafting through the door.

"What is that lovely smell, aru?" Yao asked slipping out of bed. Matthew glowed when he smiled at Yao the obvious pride even making Yao feel better.

"I'm making pancakes for breakfast," Matthew told him walking back to the door. He beamed back his bright features lighting up the room. Or maybe it was because he turned on the light in the room. "I'll set you aside some when you come down so Gilbert doesn't eat them, eh?"

"Yes please," Yao nodded walking to his clothes. As soon as the door clicked shut Yao quickly dressed, his tummy was rumbling and the meal they gave him on the plane was disgusting.

He was lucky his stomach allowed him to fully dress and walk down the stairs like a normal person.

Yao slipped his hair up into a ponytail taking the nearest empty seat.

"That was quick," Matthew commented sitting down a plate. Yao watched the steaming pancakes in front of him his eyes examining each perfectly cooked pancake with his years of experience.

Gilbert sat across the table happily munching down on a huge stack while Matthew's bear was just poking one, though Yao couldn't remember his name.

"Here," Matthew sat down a bottle of maple syrup. "It's very sweet."

"Xie xie," Yao smiled at him picking up the bottle. Yao loved sweet, sweet was good but he wasn't sure he could eat all the pancakes Matthew had given him.

He took one bite like some chef judge: slowly chewing, savoring the taste and checking off each box in his head.

Matthew had stopped cooking looking up at Yao worried. Yao was an amazing chef; Matthew had tasted his cooking before and didn't blame Ivan for insisting Yao cook when he came over for UN meetings. The man could cook the best food in the world from garbage. 

If Yao liked his cooking that means he was a good cook. Matt had even used his sweet maple syrup to charm the elder.

"This is really nice, do you make the syrup yourself?" Yao asked checking the bottle.

"Uh, yes, I also make my pancakes from scratch," Matthew told him. Yao nodded taking another bite. Matthew had the most perfect pancakes Yao had ever tasted.

"Birdie is the best cook," Gilbert declared grinning.

"Mm," Yao nodded in agreement his mouth to full to talk. Matthew blushed sitting down.

"So Yao, how are you feeling?" Matthew asked changing the subject.

"Okay, aru," Yao nodded, "feeling better now I've eaten something."

"You really knocked Arthur on his ass, He was worse off then when he gets in fights with Francis," Gilbert commented.

Yao went a bit red coughing: "It was very unlike me, I was just…"

"Kicking Arthur's ass," Gilbert cracked up. "I will never get on your bad side."

Yao laughed sheepishly shaking his head.

"I didn't mean to loose my temper, I'm usually more composed, aru," Yao explained putting more of the delicious pancake in his mouth.

"When I tried to hold you back you hit me so hard I've got a bruise, see?" Gilbert stood lifting his top. Yao gasped looking horrified he had caused the dark bruise.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to," Yao gasped covering his mouth.

"Battle scar, it'll fade," Gilbert laughed it off sitting down. "I put it on my blog and almost every nation has liked it."

"Oh no," Yao shook his head ashamed. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't worry," Matthew began smiling softly at him. "Gilbert's fine, he even sent a picture to Alfred when the bruise fully formed."

Yao shook his head covering his mouth.

"It looks horrible," Yao bit his nails.

"It looks worse than it did last night," Gilbert grinned taking out his phone and opening the camera. "Going to post it on my blog."

Yao paused: "What's a blog?"

Matthew laughed lightly picking up his mug.

"Don't worry," Matthew shook his head. "Nothing important."

Yao nodded still confused.

* * *

Yao sat on the couch staring at the TV; his hands were once again taped. He sighed shuffling uncomfortable and staring at the roof.

He wished he had paper right now.

_Made in China_

The words echoed through the poor Asians head, soon it was all he could hear.

_Made in China, Made in China, Made in China._

Yao rolled to one side and his heart speed up, slowly surely his vision began to fade and the panic rose. 

Then he blanked out.

* * *

"I don't know where he went," Matthew shook his head as he stood on the path to his home.

"He just disappeared," Gilbert added. Alfred stopped on the path looking at both of them shocked.

"Tell me exactly what happened," Alfred requested.

"Well… Yao came in where I was working and said he couldn't feel his hands. So I cut the tape and turned around to find more tape then…"

"Then?" Alfred pushed.

"Then he just disappeared." Matthew shook his head covering his face.

"That's when I saw him disappear into the guest room but when I got in there he was gone," Gilbert shook his head.

"He's not wearing heavy clothing, what if he gets caught in the cold of winter?" Matthew began to stress out.

Alfred took a deep breath rubbing his nose- his hands brushed along the phone in his pocket ready to call Ivan to come find the Asian man. For some reason Ivan had a Yao tracker in his mind that never failed to find the rather composed yet proud man.

Then he looked up and paused.

"I found him," Alfred sighed looking up at the roof. The couple turned seeing Yao, sitting on the roof, with a notepad in his lap and a pen in his hand.

"Oh thank maple," Matthew sighed with a huge smile.

Gilbert pulled out his phone turning on the video.

"Yao!" Alfred called out. Yao jumped looking up. At first he seemed confused, his eyes blinked and he looked around.

Then his cheeks went red as he realized what had happened.

"Please come down," Matthew begged. Yao nodded quickly making his way back the way he came from. He easily made it back in the window with strong arms and chest.

Matthew sighed shaking his head.

"I can take him if you want," Alfred offered.

"Yes please, I think he almost gave me a heart attack," Matthew took a deep breath.

"No problem, some hamburgers and fries should slow him down," Alfred laughed. Gilbert and Matthew looked at each other worried.

"Don't fill him up to much, he's only tiny," Gilbert told him.

"He'll be fine," Alfred shrugged. "I'll take him to Kiku's tomorrow morning," Alfred shrugged.

"He will need new clothes," Matthew nodded.

"I'll call his siblings and ask," Alfred shrugged as Yao walked out the door his head down.

"I- um…" Yao coughed awkwardly.

"What happened man?" Alfred asked.

"Well… I don't remember, I was feeling the urge to write then…" Yao coughed again. "I came to on the roof."

"You blanked out?" Matthew looked shocked. "Has that happened before?"

Yao shook his head.

"You're coming to my place, just until tomorrow morning then Kiku is going to come get you," Alfred told him.

Yao nodded in agreement.

"I'm sorry for intruding, aru," Yao told the couple.

"It's no problem," Matthew smiled.

"Let's go, we'll stop for Macca's on the way back!" Alfred cheered.

Yao glared following and dragging his feet.

"I'd much rather be in a plane crash then at that fat store with anyone," Yao growled under his breath. He hated being passed around like some hot potato.

In all fairness he was on the edge, now he was blacking out it was worse.

He remembered what had happened clearly now he thought about it. It was worse that he remembered it all. He had ran off and grabbed some pen and paper from Matthews bedroom before climbing onto the roof through the guest room. An amazing feat for anyone in the cold with markers under his jacket. 

Yao sighed rubbing his eyes: now to deal with Alfred. He was going to have a headache after this…

 


	5. Alfred's Crib

"This is awesome, Arthur never holds my Macca's," Alfred beamed, racing down the road, turning a corner way to fast. Yao looked over at him critically from the passenger seat, his face was a weird mixture of hate and disbelief.

"I'm not eating this, aru," Yao stated in a deadpanned tone. Alfred cracked up, the car fishtailing as he drove. "Road! Watch the road!"

"Oh man, you're funny," Alfred shook his head. "You're going to eat your Asian meal or nothing,"

"This is a kid's meal,"

"Na ah, Asian meal, for Asians," He shook himself in defence.

"It has children's puzzles on the side!" Yao scoffed holding up the trade mark box decorated in the beautiful golden arches Alfred probably worshipped when he was alone.

"Pretty sure they're Asian puzzles," Alfred replied with a nod looking over at Yao's sharp glare. After a short time of being glared at Alfred sighed. "Just eat it man, come on, I don't wanna stop again."

"Why?"

"I want to get home in time to call Artie when he wakes up," Alfred gave Yao big puppy dog eyes. It was strange, Yao could've sworn Alfred sucked at the big eyes and shaking lip during World War 2, he couldn't even sway Francis. However he was doing a lot better this time.

Who did Yao know who was good at the infamous puppy dog eyes?

_Ivan._

"Fine," Yao's guilt took over and he turned away, glaring out the window.

"Yes, my puppy dog eyes are better!" Alfred fist pumped.

"Ivan?"

"You bet man, He's huge and scary but fuck he can do the eyes so well."

"Hm…" Yao opened the box the smell of oil-drenched fries and deep fried nuggets hitting him.

"I got you six but if you don't eat them all then I'll eat them,"

"You got two burgers and… a bucket of fries…" Yao looked at him shocked.

"Yeah man, curse of being eternally at the end of puberty," Alfred explained. "Constantly hungry and horny."

Yao stopped looking at the American uncomfortably.

"What?" Alfred looked confused. Yao shuffled away in his seat, sitting Alfred's bag between them. "No, no, for Arthur… and maybe some fictional character… and actors…"

"Right,"

"Hey, but you know who is horny for you?" Alfred began.

"I feel as though this conversation is going the wrong way, aru," Yao shoved fries in his mouth without even realising.

"Ivan," Alfred kept going. He really didn't know what social stop lights were just like Yao didn't realise he was emotionally eating deep fried goodness to keep his mouth shut.

"I'm just going to throw myself out the door," Yao rubbed his eyes with a sigh.

"He's 19, like me man, eternally hungry and horny. It's a curse,"

"This is not a conversation I want to have with anyone,"

"Do you think Ivan's hot?"

"What?"

"His body, do you want it?" Alfred raised his eyebrows suggestively. Yao stared at him, his mouth hanging open for a moment.

"I'm not answering you,"

"So it's yes!" Alfred laughed.

"No!"

"Liar," Alfred gave the road a proud smile. Yao glared at the American, his cheeks a burning red and his heart beating a million miles an hour. Finishing the fries he moved to the nuggets, now glaring at Alfred's reflection in his window.

Of course he thought Ivan was attractive: He had a body that seemed to be carved out of marble thanks to a strict diet and exercise plan Yao was more than happy to help out with, gorgeous pale skin, a tall nose and his eyes were stunning. Every now and again the two got together to train, Yao's speed and skills always matched Ivan's strength. The smaller Asian always managed to get a pressure point and bring the larger man down but not before a fair bit of grabbing occurred. 

The smaller man could still remember the time he accidentally walked in on Ivan's work out, in which he was hanging upside down from a pole doing sit-ups: a pair of headphones in his ears, blind fold over his eyes and no top. That was the only time he let himself stop to actually… well not exactly perv on Ivan… perhaps just enjoying the view for a brief moment before alerting the Russian of his presence.

Not that Ivan minds anyone staring at his naked body, he was completely comfortable walking around with little to no clothing on for no particular reason. Alfred had found that out the hard way when he thought the Russian was afraid of being naked and stole his clothes during a G8 meeting.

Yao remembered that 8 o'clock in the morning phone call where Alfred was freaking out because Ivan was sitting in his seat stark naked. On the plus side: Francis enjoyed himself. The particular memory of walking into the meeting room: Ivan smiling at him; Alfred freaking out; Francis making himself to obvious in perving on Ivan's assets; Italy trying to join in; Germany trying to stop him; and the more sensible nations (Yeah right) just trying not to look.

Ivan had looked so proud of himself, leaning back in his chair with his hands on his chest and feet up on the desk. Everyone expected Yao to growl at him but the smaller Asian couldn't stop himself from laughing. It's not every day you see Ivan stark naked in a meeting with a smile like that on his face. Eventually Ivan put his clothes back on, though they all had to wait for Yao to stop laughing before he could muster the words to snap at Ivan.

"Here we are!" Alfred announced pulling Yao from the memory. Yao snapped back into reality looking around to see a large apartment building towering above them.

They weren't far from Alfred's major government buildings, maybe a few blocks, and the building its self looked well-kept and tidy.

"Hey, you actually finished!" Alfred cracked up. Yao looked down at the box to see he had been stuffing his mouth while thinking about the Russian nude body.

"Yeah…" Yao looked down at the box for a moment longer before picking it up to see if he had done the puzzles in his daze. They were so easy he could've. On the bottom Yao's eyes spotted the small text printed: _Made in China_.

"You okay man?" Alfred asked pulling into the car park underground. Yao's hand began to twitch and burn, the need to write growing stronger.

"I just…" Yao rubbed his hands together. "My hands are burning, I'm getting one of the-"Yao wasn't sure what to call them.

"Urges," Alfred finished.

"Yes," Yao nodded rubbing his hands. His fingers burned and his muscles twitched- the condition was getting worse.

"Don't you usually just need to write?" Alfred asked pulling into a park.

"Yes, but now my hands feel as though they are burning," Yao stretched his fingers.

"Hey, I know how we can keep your fingers busy!" Alfred announced. Yao raised an eyebrow at him, questioning the figurative light bulb above the American's head that was often not as bright as he wished it was.

* * *

"Fuck!" Alfred slammed his foot down. After a small chat with his English lover he had set up what seemed to be a game station to Yao's greatest understanding. "You're a cheater you fuck."

Yao raised an eyebrow at the American, questioning the bulky headgear partnered with a dark remote controller. Wasn't this supposed to be helping him? The only thing he was doing right now was trying to rub out the burning in his hands.

"You want a go man?" Alfred asked looking over at Yao.

"I'm fine thank you," Yao continued to rub his hand.

"You look a bit pale," Alfred mused turning back to his game he was apparently playing against other nations.

"Who are you playing against?" Yao questioned, changing the subject.

"Right now I'm just playing some dumb fuck Russian asshole who keeps cheating, so Ivan," Alfred smiled nicely. "Oh come on! Where the fuck did you get a helicopter from?"

"Fantastic," Yao rolled his eyes. Another thing for the two 'friends but enemies' to compete on. It was weird: he had never seen a similar device at Ivan's home, even after he downgraded to a smaller apartment for just himself.

"What? Yeah, he's been rubbing his hands and acting all twitchy." Alfred was obviously talking to Ivan not the Chinese man (his real life house guest). "No way man, I can take him if he tries to beat me up. Yeah well his mind tricks might work on you but I'm not a fucking puppy. Hey shut your mouth, I needed the money! I am not a slave! Fuck you I love Artie,"

"I need to go to the bathroom," Yao stood turning to leave.

"Sure thing man, just be careful of the door it tends to lock people in!" Alfred called out as Yao wandered off. "Yeah, he's going to the bathroom. Sure you can talk to Yao when he comes back, for now you're going down!"

"Hungry, horny and violent, aru," Yao rolled his eyes wandering down the hall. Alfred's apartment was nice and doubled in size to Ivan's but smelt of McDonalds and pizza.

The Chinese man didn't really need to go to the bathroom, he just wanted some peace and quiet.

Sliding down the wall of the toilet Yao rubbed his hands once more looking over at the magazines to one side. Pulling out one he heard a bump of something falling from the gossip report.

A marker, a whiteboard marker, probably from world meetings. Yao picked it up looking at the marker with a lust growing in his dark eyes.

He just needed one more hit, then he'd stop, just one more. Yao flicked the lid off and began scribbling through the magazine, page after page of bikini clad babes and hunky men covered in the same three words, over and over until Yao reached the end.

"You okay man!" Alfred called out from the lounge room. "Haven't fallen in or anything?"

"I'm fine, aru," Yao shoved the magazine under the others hoping Alfred's lack of reading would mean he would never find out. He quickly stood dusting himself off and turning to flush the toilet as a cover.

"You asshole! I will fucking- No!" Alfred scoffed. Yao took a deep breath shaking his head. Slowly, with the pen in hand, he reached to open the door… it didn't open.

Again, it wouldn't open, not even a bit the smaller man began pushing on the door then stood back gripping the dark pen in his hand.

Another attempt proved unsuccessful and Yao began to panic for no reason.

"Oh no," His breathing quickened, his heart beating in his ears and slowly he noticed his vision blurring, he looked up watching in fear as the light above him disappeared into darkness…

Then there was nothing.

* * *

The man awoke to see his hand gripping a marker that was against the wall, text scribbled on the pure white around him.

"Oh shit," Yao stood back looking around at the walls now covered in the same text.

"You okay man?" Alfred was now at the door, one ear against the wood listening to Yao's quick breathing.

"Ah!" A headache made him drop to his knees.

"I'm coming in, okay?" Alfred called out, Yao heard the rustling of the door then a gasp.

"Holy… fuck," Alfred looked around the bathroom amazed. "Yeah, he did the thing."

Talking to Ivan once more over his headphones.

"Ah, my hand," Yao flinched as the headache transferred to his hand.

"He found one of my whiteboard markers and wrote all over my bathroom walls, and roof, and toilet, and bloody hell all my toilet paper!"

"Agh!" Yao screamed the pain in his hand now spiking.

"Oh shit, you okay man?" Alfred dropped to his knees. "What? I don't know, what do I do?"

It was quite obvious Alfred was not a suitable choice to take care of Yao's slowly breaking mind and body.

"Here man, Ivan's gonna talk to you," Alfred slipped off his headphone and tightened them to fit onto the smaller man's head.

"My hand," Yao took a deep sharp breath holding his hand in a tight grip.

"Jao? Jao," Ivan kept repeating Yao's name through the headphones. "Yao Yao, listen to my voice, respond to me."

"Hey… Ivan," Yao let out a whimper the pain in his hand disappearing slowly.

"Yao Yao, are you okay?" Ivan sounded happy at the sound of Yao's breathing slowing down.

"I'm okay," Yao nodded falling to one side.

"Ah, you really scared me Yao," Ivan took a deep breath. "Are you sure you're fine? What happened?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine," Yao laid on his back rubbing his eyes. "I just, started to panic when the door didn't open and then I blacked out and when I woke up-"Yao's eyes sprung open.

"You had drawn on Alfred's bathroom wall, da?" Ivan questioned.

"I'm so sorry Alfred," Yao apologised looking at the rather distressed American at the door.

"Its fine man, looks kind of cool actually," Alfred took a deep breath. "Do you remember any of it?"

"I… I remember writing on the walls, and I couldn't stop myself, it's blurry… Like I'm watching a movie," Yao explained rubbing his eyes.

"Is it the same to Matthew's place?" Ivan asked, he sounded a bit worried. Yao had to admit he was imagining Ivan giving him that look of distress that was kind of cute.

"Yeah, yeah," Yao shook his head. "Exactly like Matthew's place."

"Dude, if you're blacking out then-"

"I'm not going crazy, aru," Yao snapped, "I obviously just need a holiday or something."

"Oh, Yao, Kiku would faint if he heard you say that," Ivan teased.

"Ivan," Yao growled at the Russian but grinned.

"Yeah man, come on, just lie down on the couch, I'm sure Ivan would be cool not hearing me swear at him,"

"I do prefer listening to you rather then him,"

"I don't blame you, aru," Yao smirked walking past Alfred.

"Are you talking about me? Is he making fun of me?" Alfred asked.

"Aiya, look at your bathroom," Yao turned looking back at the walls with a quick subject change.

"I told you man, it's cool," Alfred shrugged. "I'm more worried about you, I mean, I've never heard of anyone blacking out."

"I think this happened to me once," Ivan explained in a quiet voice.

"Really? When?" Yao turned ignoring Alfred for a second time.

"Well… before… you know," Ivan explained. "The Soviet Union formed."

"Oh…" Yao stopped his eyes growing wide. Ivan had once told him in secrecy that he didn't remember the Soviet Union at all, he said his final memory was that he was in the bathroom coughing up blood and then nothing. He had awoken lying on the floor of his huge house surrounded by smashed bottles and more blood.

The thought of the story always brought shivers to Yao's small body. He didn't want to black out one day and wake up to find his family gone, his country in ruins and his body broken.

"Do you think…?" Yao didn't dare finish the question. Ivan sighed and a small laugh came through the speaker.

"Probably not Jao, your country is in a completely different position to mine back then. I was very sick, this is just all that stress you put yourself under, plus it wouldn't help that your population keeps growing," Ivan explained.

"What if I'm breaking?"

"I know when something is not right about a nation and you seem completely normal to me, well… as normal as you can be," Yao always thought it was funny that people thought Ivan had one tone, that he was always smiling. If they only saw the emotions come through when Ivan let them, the fear, the confusion, the anger and when he spoke so softly he couldn't startle a fly.

"I'll be at Kiku's place tomorrow night, maybe I will be fed something a bit better than Mc Donald's," Yao rolled his eyes.

"Mc Donald's is the best!" Alfred called out from the bathroom where he was still marvelling out such a small man could write on the roof.

"Ah, yes, I almost doubled my weight looking at it," Ivan huffed. Yao laughed. "What?"

"It's just funny that you are so careful about what you eat now," Yao shook his head.

"Francis appreciates my hard work," Ivan sounded offended. Yao cracked up shaking his head. "A little bit too much actually," Ivan finished with a sigh.

"So you do regret parading around naked?" Yao asked sarcastically.

"No," Ivan shook his head, "it was worth the look on Alfred's face."

Yao shook his head with a laugh.

"Also worth the look on your face, dear Jao," he finished.

"I laughed,"

"I know, that is why I enjoyed it. I expected to get snapped at," Ivan sounded offended. "Oh and tell Alfred to check on his game."

"Fine," Yao rolled his eyes. "Alfred, Ivan wants you to check on your game!"

"Oh shit!" Alfred zoomed pass. All Yao heard from Ivan was a dark, mischievous chuckle.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing like always Yao," Ivan replaced his sneaky tone with a certain innocence.

"Get your balls off my face! You asshole!" Alfred screamed. Ivan cracked up as Yao entered the lounge room to see Alfred standing on his coffee table wildly hitting buttons on his remote.

"Why do you even play against Alfred?" Yao questioned wandering to the connecting kitchen to wash his hands.

"It is a form of stress relief," Ivan shrugged.

For the next hour Ivan talked to Yao while pissing Alfred off in sync.

"Fuck this, I'm going to call Artie," Alfred threw the remote down storming off to his bedroom.

"Did he leave?" Ivan asked sadly.

"Congratulations," Yao rolled his eyes sitting back.

"Would you like to play?" Ivan asked curiously.

"No, I can't play these games, aru," Yao looked over at the remote.

"Please," Ivan begged. Yao imagined those big purple eyes and sighed rubbing his temple.

"Fine," Yao picked up the remote.

"Okay press the start button,"

"The what?"

"The little arrow,"

"Oh, okay," Yao pressed down on the button looking at the screen. Suddenly he was a man standing in between high rises with a gun in one hand.

"The little knob on the left, it makes you walk around, the one on the right moves your view.

Yao began to play with them, he wasn't slow with picking up technology, and usually it took a few minutes thanks to his ever developing country.

"You have to find me and kill me,"

"On the game?" Yao clarified.

"Da," Ivan laughed shaking his head.

"Tell Ivan he sucks!" Alfred called out. Little did he know Ivan was watching him from a building above through a rifle.

"Did you hear that?"

"Da, tell him I do not suck, I blow,"

"No," Yao shook his head.

"But Yao,"

"Absolutely not,"

"Fine, I will send him message, you are no fun," Ivan grumbled. After a 10 minute tutorial Yao was picking up the controls. Then Yao remembered something: as much as Ivan didn't mind getting into a face-to-face battle with someone he much preferred hiding on rooftops with a big gun.

Yao snuck up to the roof of a building after navigating the staircase.

"I will be right back Jao," Ivan seemed a bit distracted as he sat down the headphones and wandered off.

Yao grumbled a reply under his breath looking around to the other buildings. Down below him he saw a figure crouched over an edge with a sniper rifle.

"Got you," Yao pulled out a gun and, with great difficulty aiming it.

One shot, that's all he had.

"Okay, I am back," Ivan's voice made Yao jump.

"Oh, where did you go?" Yao asked confused.

"Boss called, where are you? You seem to have disappeared," Ivan sounded confused as Yao watched his character look around.

"Alfred's character looks like him,"

"Yeah, Alfred designed the whole game, Kaoru did the graphics and I set up the programming behind it, Other nations did other bits and pieces then we handed it around to the nations Alfred likes."

"Oh, I'm glad to hear Kaoru uses his time wisely, aru," Yao shook his head.

"Da,"

"Your character looks like you to," Yao laughed.

"Thanks… wait- what?" Ivan stopped, his character went dead and Yao pulled the trigger giving Alfred his first kill.

Ivan was silent for a moment.

"Ivan?" Yao couldn't even hear him move.

"No way, how did you know?"

"I know you," Yao shrugged. Suddenly a window popped up on the screen. "Who is ' _My big birdie dick'_?"

"Oh you have a request, that's Gilbert, just press the x button," Ivan popped back into normal mode.

"Right," Yao quickly pressed the right button.

"Sup motherfuckers?" Gilbert's loud, rough voice rang through the headphones.

"Yao has Alfred's headset and controller," Ivan informed the Prussian man.

"Oh…" Gilbert went silent. "Hello motherfucker and Yao,"

"Hello Gilbert," Yao rolled his eyes with a smile. Sometimes he loved how scared the nations were of him.

"Where's Alfred? Is he having sex with The Scone demon Yao beat up? By the way Yao, a high respect for beating Arthur up, I don't think you realise how much amusement you've provided us with."

"I'm so glad," Yao rolled his eyes, sneering in a sarcastic tone.

"I may have hidden in that spot and kept shooting Alfred, he got mad and stormed off," Ivan shrugged.

"That spot we didn't tell him about and he can't find? Ha! Fucking loser- I mean- shit!"

"Who is…?" Yao sighed, he didn't like reading out these names, and " _Everyone sucks but me?_ "

"Kaoru, add him," Ivan snickered.

"I can't wait till more people get on," Gilbert laughed. Yao pressed accept and took a deep breath.

"Yao has Alfred's controller and headset under siege don't say stupid shit!" Gilbert burst as soon as Kaoru's breathing came through the headset.

"What? Yao using technology? Yao playing a game? Yao at Alfred's? Alfred not dead?" Kaoru sounded plain like always but was obviously confused by Yao's presence.

"It's nice to hear from you to," Yao rolled his eyes.

"Hi…" Kaoru replied. Another pop up.

"Did you come up with these names in the hope I have to read them out?" Yao asked rolling his eyes.

"Who is it?" Gilbert snickered.

" _Ivan's big hairy ass,_ "

Gilbert lost it, Kaoru also letting out his evil snicker.

"That's Feliks, he still holds a grudge,"

"Oh…" Yao pressed accept rolling his eyes.

"Hey, you fabulous people and Ivan the fat hairy pig," Poland laughed. Gilbert cracked up, slapping his knee.

"Its layers," Ivan complained.

"You're fat, it's genetic, deal with it,"

"Yao's on," Kaoru stated.

"Yao?" The Polish man went silent. "Like China… the country, he just heard me call Ivan a big fat hairy cock sucking pig?"

"I did now," Yao stated wondering if Feliks was always like this.

"Oh…" The Polish man went silent. He seemed to get a bit shy and protective.

"You made him shut up, wow," Gilbert seemed shocked. Another beep.

"Who is it this time?" Gilbert obviously sounded amused.

" _The fucking Mafia,_ " Yao seemed so pleased with reading out these names.

"Lovino," Kaoru stated.

"I cannot believe your name is still about me," Ivan sighed.

"I, like, couldn't resist, I love it when it comes up ' _The fucking Mafia killed Ivan's big hairy ass,_ '" Feliks laughed.

"Or even better, _Ivan's big hairy ass evaded My big birdie dick_ ," Gilbert cracked up.

"Fantastic," Ivan sounded incredibly sarcastic. Maybe Yao was wrong, maybe they did get to hear Ivan's emotions come through his voice.

Another beep.

"Are you fuckers still discussing this? I thought we were over it since Ivan knew where we all lived?" Lovino asked.

"Yeah but we were explaining it to Yao," Kaoru stated. "Who is listening…?"

"Oh, Hi China," Lovino was a bit awkward with the elder he hadn't spoken to in forever.

"Please call me Yao, Lovino, aru," Yao smiled, he may take advantage of how frightened they were.

"Right," Lovino went silent.

"Everyone's quiet, and no one's dying," Gilbert thought out loud.

"We're scared Yao will mother us," Kaoru replied.

"Hey!" Yao snapped. Another beep caught Yao's attention.

"We're going to overload tonight," Feliks rolled his eyes.

" _Suck my axe, I'm Denmark,"_ Yao repeated.

"No explanation needed," Ivan stated.

"Of course," Yao accepted.

"Nah but Nors! I wanna play a game!"

_"Fine dick bag!"_ – _SLAM!_

"Someone doesn't sound happy," Lovino stated.

"I think he's mad cause he wanted me to paint the roof… it's snowing outside…" Mathias defended himself.

"Fair enough,"

"What are discussing tonight anyway?" Denmark looked around. "Hey one kill on Ivan, who was that?"

"Yao."

"Yao… you mean like…"

"Yeah," Kaoru was now quite amused.

"Ah…"

"We were just discussing on appropriate topics to discuss while Yao's listening…" Gilbert sighed. "Like Ivan's big hairy ass."

"We keep coming back to this," Ivan snapped.

"Shit, retreat!" Feliks yelled. "Don't poke the bear man and definitely don't take his chocolate chip cookies."

"You know I can still hear you all right?" Yao shook his head spotting a character with white hair. It was obviously Gilbert.

Another shot rang through their headphones and Gilbert gasped.

"What the- Where the hell are you man?" Gilbert questioned.

"I know, he has good spot," Ivan complained in his thick Russian accent that hadn't faded in hundreds of years. Despite being able to correct Alfred's English in contracts, he still missed words when he spoke.

"It's he has _a_ good spot, idiot," Feliks corrected.

"No, never," Ivan protested.

"He can't even English," Kaoru butted in. Another beep.

"Oh come on!" Yao groaned reading the name.

"What?" Mathias seemed confused.

"Yao has to read the names out to make sure they're nations," Gilbert snickered. "Feliks was still the best."

"I know who this is, who else would have their name as _I invented everything_ ," Yao rolled his eyes.

"Ah, the small Asian," Gilbert commented.

"Might as well add him," Ivan shrugged.

"No, don't do it Yao!" Kaoru seemed to be begging.

"Do it," Feliks dared the Asian man.

"Yeah add him," Lovino shrugged. Yao pressed the add button ready for the onslaught of Im So's voice.

"Hello~" It was not Im So, it sounded a lot like…

"Mei?"

"Yao!" Mei seemed shocked. "I was just looking for Kaoru and my phone broke so I hacked into Im So's gaming account."

"Yes?" Kaoru questioned, "What is so important?"

"Did you take my hairbrush?" She asked.

"Are you serious? You hacked into his gaming account for a hair brush?" Kaoru asked.

"And my hair clip!" She defended herself.

"They're in the front pocket of your suitcase, aru," Yao stated.

"Oh, really?" A small amount of shuffling. "Found them! Thank you brother! Wǒ ài Ni! "

"Wǒ ài Ni," Yao shook his head with a smile.

Another beep and she was gone.

"Glad you knew where it was," Kaoru stated. "She gets all hormonal at me when I don't know."

"She always leaves them in her bag," Yao sighed. "Same place since she was ten years old."

"Think she'd learn," Feliks commented.

"Women, hey Ivan," Gilbert poked once more.

"We are not talking about my sisters again," Ivan replied.

"It's funny though and we can't talk about Yao, he's listening!" Feliks complained.

"You talk… about me?" Yao asked. They all went silent.

"Moving on…" Mathias broke the tension.

"Hey, you're playing my game," Alfred popped up behind Yao.

"Shit, Alfred's back, run Yao run!" Gilbert urged the smaller man.

"Can I have my controller back?" Alfred asked. Yao raised an eyebrow at him.

"No, aru, you cannot."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm older than you and I said so, go to bed," Yao snapped.

"But I don't wanna!" Alfred moaned. "One more level."

"Bed. Now," Yao snapped.

"Bringing back horrible memories," Kaoru stated.

"It's kind of amusing," Feliks interjected.

"Can I watch?" Alfred asked with big eyes.

"Ten minutes, that's all," Yao snapped.

"Yes!" Alfred sat down next to Yao.

After a good half-hour of Yao getting away with killing half the players on the game everyone had left but Ivan, Gilbert, Lovino and Kaoru.

" _Bruder, lunch!"_ Ludwig's thick voice came over the microphone.

"One more level!" Gilbert called back.

" _Now!_ "

"I love how he's your mum and your younger brother," Feliks teased.

" _Ve, we're having pasta!"_

"Is my brother at the potato fuckers? Are you fucking joking? I'm coming over you fuckers and you better watch out!"

"You lost your license," Kaoru stated simply.

"Hey Antonio!" Lovino called out.

" _Yes Lovi my love!"_

"Number one, don't fucking call me that and number 2 we're going to potato fuckers!" Lovino called out. "Drive me!"

" _Yah, road trip! Are we going to have sex on the way?_ "

"No fucker we are not!" Lovino snapped.

"Sometimes I think Antonio likes it, then I remember Lovino puts up with him to," Feliks stated.

_"Yah!_ "

"I'm coming for you fuckers," Lovino warned before getting off.

"See ya guys, better board up the house," Gilbert sighed beeping off.

"Yah my man's home! Toris!" Feliks called out disappearing from the game.

"Is Alfred asleep?" Ivan asked.

"Yeah, fast asleep, aru," Yao sighed looking down at the American.

"Did you have fun playing?" Ivan asked.

"I did actually, though I don't know whether to be offended or amused they're so scared of me,"

"Trust me, you much rather they are scared then how they treat me,"

"Again, I didn't realise they were comfortable enough to talk about your hairy butt,"

"It's not actually hairy…" Ivan laughed sheepishly. "They only do it while we're playing games. When I'm far away and they know I'll be over it by the next world meeting."

"This explains the little bit of revenge at the world meetings," Yao shook his head remembering when Ivan had slipped khaki dye in with Poland's pink tops. It didn't seem humanly possible for Feliks to hate Ivan more.

"They never seem to learn," Ivan sighed.

"No, aru."

"We might have to design you a character, so you can play with us," Ivan suggested.

"As long as I get to have some of my fighting skills,"

"Oh we put all of our skills into the character, Kaoru's character is a black belt, Alfred is a very strong one, and mine, well you get the idea."

"Oh, so mine will be able to take yours down?" Yao teased.

"I do not doubt this," Ivan laughed. Yao actually giggled in reply. How he loved joking around with the Russian- he never took much seriously these days. Probably over the whole mess by this point.

They both went silent.

"I should… go to bed," Yao coughed awkwardly.

"Me too, goodnight Jao Jao,"

"Goodnight," Yao replied sitting in silence until Ivan disappeared.

"You finished?" Alfred woke up looking around with tired eyes.

"Yes, thank you, I enjoyed playing quite a lot, it calmed me," Yao passed him the remote taking the head set off.

"No problem man," Alfred quickly shut the whole system down throwing the remote to one side. "I stuck your bag in your bedroom, there's a shower in there and stuff. No pens or paper."

"Good," Yao nodded.

"Do I need to use the tape?" Alfred asked.

"It seems to have only made things worse," Yao replied.

"Yeah, you kind of freaked Ivan and I out," Alfred laughed rubbing his nose.

"Sorry about your bathroom again."

"That's okay man, I have some paint downstairs in my storage locker. I'll just paint over it," Alfred shrugged.

"Do you want me to?" Yao offered.

"Nah man, you're good," Alfred shrugged with a laugh. "Hey if everyone else got a freak out from you, why not me?"

"I'm a bit scared I will hurt someone next time," Yao admitted, his hands in his lap.

"You won't man, hey if you can make it to over four thousand and still be here then you can overcome some output problems."

"Probably."

"Plus we all have our theories on what caused it: Ivan says stress; Kaoru says exports; I say you're just developing from you old ways to a new way, like I did; Francis thinks its sexual tension."

"Francis always thinks its sexual tension, aru," Yao rolled his eyes.

"I know, once Arthur kicked his toe and yelled at the chair. That was sexual tension apparently."

"Between Arthur and the chair?" Yao joked.

"I don't know, probably," Alfred cracked up leaning his head into his knees. "Oh man, I'm so tired."

"We should both go to bed," Yao stood letting Alfred stand.

"Right," Alfred popped to his feet. "Night man, have a good sleep."

"Goodnight Alfred," Yao turned on his heel walking to his room.

"One more thing man," Alfred called out.

"Yes?"

"Uh… well, about Kiku," Alfred took a deep breath.

"What about him?"

"He can't make it here in time for you flight out,"

"Oh…" Yao tried not to look disappointed or upset.

"You'll be cool by yourself, right?" Alfred asked.

"I've flown by myself before," Yao shook his head with a shrug.

"Yeah," Alfred grinned punching Yao in the arm. "You're cool man, I'll drop you off and wait with you if you want."

"It's fine," Yao returned his hit a bit harder making Alfred laugh.

"Hey, watch it man," Alfred took a few steps back.

"You act unusually after you talk to Arthur,"

"I'm really, really tired," Alfred followed Yao as they walked to their bedrooms.

"Right," Yao rolled his eyes slipping into his room. "Night, aru."

"Night man," Alfred wandered down the hall, hitting light switches as he went. Yao clicked shut the door wandering to his bag to change, his designated room was nice, a huge bed and it didn't smell like the rest of the house.

With a sigh he fell back onto the bed rolling underneath the huge blankets and to snuggle up in the cool, air conditioned air.

For a moment Yao's thoughts drifted back to Ivan, he always seemed so lonely… but he seemed to be getting used to it. He seemed to seek solitude more often now, always disappearing for breaks to spend his time alone or asking Yao to have coffee with him.

He seemed so sincere though, even over a headset and microphone, Ivan would do anything in his power to help Yao.

Yao brushed those thoughts aside thinking about Kiku.

He would always have a piece of his heart missing on the inside because of his beautiful siblings. However… Yao had been beaten down by everyone… well… almost everyone and still found the strength to forgive them.

Maybe Yao didn't forgive them, he just saw their bright side come through, and defeating the darkness this world had a tendency to create. Maybe Yao believed life was too short to hold a grudge, something a particular Russian had taught him.

You don't have to forget, or even forgive, but what's the point of holding a grudge if it will only cause pain.

Yao sighed falling into his huge cushiony bed after getting changed. A sigh escaped his lips as the smaller man rolled over to go to sleep.

Maybe he should think about these things in the morning, when he was thinking straight…

Yes… in the morning seems like a good idea.

He would do that…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: All done with Alfred's place, hope you enjoyed my made up pen names for the nations. Just in case you didn't realize: Alfred was playing on a PlayStation, he owns an Xbox to but the other nations mostly have PlayStation. 
> 
> Please Review as I love to have feedback on my content. 
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks,  
> ~Seelefairywitch~


	6. Kiku's Hut

 

* * *

Kiku was currently distressed, standing outside Gate 7 of the airport, watching as people piled off the plane. None of them being Yao.

Maybe Yao had missed his flight and taken a later one, maybe he was hurt on board. Kiku's mind jumped to the conclusion that because of his cover as a Chinese government official he could've been detained by airport security.

Suddenly a tired looking man with his long dark hair pulled into a messy bun and baggy clothes hanging off his small frame wandered out. His tired eyes scanned the room before landing on Kiku then he smiled.

Kiku suddenly saw the similarities between Yao and one of the living dead.

"Good morning, aru," Yao slurred.

"It's almost midday," Kiku looked concerned.

"It's still morning though," Yao smiled dumping his bag on Kiku before dragging his feet towards the door.

"Uh, I guess…" Kiku turned catching up with the man who seemed to be moving quickly for his current state. "How was your flight?"

"I honestly don't remember it, aru," Yao shook his head. "You know I hate plane rides so Alfred gave me some sleeping pills and I slept through the whole flight. The attendant had to wake me up I was so out of it."

"Perhaps you shouldn't take drugs from Alfred, he often has no idea what's good for his body," Kiku suggested. Yao laughed, not his usual one though, he was clearly still out of it. "You should sleep once we get home," Kiku suggested.

"I'm not tired," Yao growled, stumbling on the door mat. "Maybe I am a little bit drowsy though."

"Kaoru is flying in tomorrow," Kiku began to ramble on, allowing Yao to fade off. He began to look around at the people all meeting their loved ones. Yao noticed a fellow China man with slicked back hair drop to his knees when a child ran into his arms. He embraced the young girl, almost in tears.

"I can make you a nice warm lunch before you go to sleep and-"Kiku stopped when he saw Yao was no longer there. "Yao?"

He spotted Yao who had stopped dead staring at the younger man hugging his child. Kiku knew Yao always wanted children of his own, if Yao had it his way, rather than his boss, he would have an orphanage built in his home.

Kaoru wouldn't like sharing his room but it would be nothing he's not used to.

Yao had a sad smile on his lip, his head hanging to one side. Kiku's heart squeezed at that look, his memories allowing him to recall when Yao used to smile at him like that. He would rarely smile at anyone these days: stress, pain, history. It all weighed Yao down.

"Yao?" Kiku tapped his shoulder breaking him from whatever world he was in.

"Huh?" Yao looked over at him in shock. "Sorry, what were you saying?"

"Would you like me to make you one of my traditional meals for lunch?" Kiku asked curiously.

"That sounds lovely, aru, do you need help?"

"I think I can cope. Did you hear what I said about Kaoru?"

"No…" Yao shook his head blankly.

"He is flying in tomorrow to take you home," Kiku smiled. "You can stay here for a few days just to get some solid sleep."

"I think that would be for the best," Yao nodded as they exited the airport.

"How was the meeting?" Kiku questioned.

"It was okay, mostly it was self-help for the Western nations, not that they were listening at all," Yao grumbled. "The only interesting parts were on the economy updates for our countries."

"Did you have a presentation?"

"No, not this time, I've been invited as a guest speaker for the next month's G8 meeting," Yao nodded.

"Ivan?"

"I suspect,"

"How was everyone? Arthur and Francis fought?"

"They did," Yao sighed. "Germany didn't yell at them surprisingly."

"Feliciano is teaching him how to meditate, though there is quite a lot of irony in someone like Feliciano knowing how to meditate," Kiku nodded as they walked into the garage. Yao let out a light giggle, shaking his head. "Oh and Yoga, though I suspect neither one of them is any good at it."

"How is Heracles?" Yao questioned noticing how Kiku went slightly red before replying.

"He's doing well… last time I talked to him he was taking care of his cat," Kiku looked away walking slightly faster.

"So you're feeling better too?"

"I am, much better," Kiku smiled.

"It is such a coincidence that you got sick at the same time Heracles cat got sick so he couldn't take care of you," Yao sighed.

"It is," Kiku stopped at his car unlocking it before almost jumping in the driver's seat. Yao sighed once more as he slipped into his seat.

"Still… you'd think he'd choose you over his cat,"

"I told him to stay,"

"If I was him I would choose you over my cat.

Kiku took a deep breath: "He… took care of both of us at the same time. He visited with his cat."

"Kiku…" Yao grinned, "I know you two lied to be together for a weekend. Please think of better excuses next time, everyone knew what was going on."

"Really? Oh…" Kiku looked mortified. "What excuses would you use?"

"For you I'd say I was sick because you'd get away with it. However Greece could get away with not showing up, he's done that a few times. Plus he just sleeps through the whole meeting so no one notices," Yao shrugged with a laugh.

Kiku let out a long sigh: "I just wanted a break."

"Blasphemy Kiku! A holiday?" Yao gave a look of fake shock.

"Brother," Kiku was shocked his brother was actually acting like he was on some sort of recreational drug.

"I'm just joking Kiku, Heracles has been nothing but a good influence on you it seems."

"It was nice to have a few days off," Kiku nodded with a small smile.

"I wouldn't know about that lately," Yao sighed as Kiku backed out of his park.

"You're getting a break now," Kiku brought up.

"Being tied up and shipped around the world is not my idea of a holiday, aru,"

"I guess that time you got trapped in Ivan's cabin by yourself doesn't count either?"

"It was actually very nice," Yao agreed. "It would've been better if I had someone to talk to."

"How did you get trapped in there alone?"

"I was looking for Ivan to sign a contract and when I went to his cabin and got stuck in a snow storm," Yao shrugged. "It was nice of Ivan to dig me out and not leave me until the emergency crew came."

"How long were they going to take?"

"I was low risk apparently so… a week, aru," Yao nodded with a sigh.

"I'd hate to see high risk," Kiku turned left, looking for oncoming traffic.

"You never know with Ivan, it's probably his vodka stash," Yao scoffed, rolling his dark eyes.

"I highly doubt he'd put vodka over you," Kiku mumbled, Yao had heard but chose not to reply because of his burning red cheeks. It was true to a certain point. "Are you still tired?"

"I'm waking up, aru," Yao took a deep breath. "Slowly…"

"We're almost there,"

"Which house are we retreating to?"

"In the suburbs, my apartment in the city is too… cluttered right now," Kiku shrugged.

"Heracles is there,"

"H-he…" Kiku sighed. "He's leaving today and the apartment is a mess. I dropped him off when I picked you up."

"I figured as much," Yao nodded looking back to where the city turned into suburbs. Slowly they drove through the maze of streets.

"You are falling asleep again," Kiku stated watching as Yao leaned against the window his eyes shut. Yao woke up in a small flail and gasp, looking around.

"Perhaps a short sleep once we get home will help…" Yao yawned stretching his arms.

"Yes," Kiku smiled as Yao fell asleep on the window again.

* * *

Yao remembered little as Kiku dragged him inside and into a bed, letting him fall asleep in Kiku's bed. Kiku still didn't know how such a small man could be so heavy, he barely made it through the door let alone the guest room at the back of the house. Hence Yao ended up in his bed, tucked in and snuggling up to a mochi pillow.

"Our brother," Kiku shook his head. Yao would always randomly fall asleep in the spot when he was tired. Once Yao fell asleep at Ivan's place, he looked completely vulnerable to prying Russian hands. However Ivan had obviously kept his hands to himself unlike when he fell asleep at Alfred's place and the American and Russian drew on his face.

Another time Yao had fallen asleep halfway through paperwork in his office, it was very hard to find him in so many piles of paper. Ivan had also been the one to wake him up but had taken precautions this time.

Kiku stopped half way through closing the door with a sudden realization: "Ivan is always there."

He was probably always there for Yao, he seemed to be like Yao's puppy dog lately. Following Yao around, doing what he said. Part of Kiku thought it was adorable, the other part knew Ivan's old self and suspected he was just being patient. Yao could handle himself, if Ivan tried anything he'd have several broken bones and everyone knew it. Especially Francis who _had_ tried something.

Yao, however, was currently in a semi-comatose state. Drifting in and out of consciousness, only picking up on room full of book shelves. Then suddenly he was picking up on words.

"I don't know what Alfred gave him but he's still breathing, I'll just leave him here. I have to pick up Kaoru." The voice began. It sounded like Kiku. "He'll be out for a couple more hours. I might even have time to clean my apartment. Yes, thank you very much, goodbye."

It was definitely Kiku…

Kiku…

"Kiku!" Yao shot up looking around, he was lying in bed. Not his bed. It was Kiku's.

Yao rubbed his eyes, slowly remembering what had happened.

"Kiku!" Yao called out once more. Slowly he looked around the bedroom. There were two doors, and the walls were literally shelves, the only blank wall being covered in anime posters. Yao recognised some of the characters from when Kaoru forced him to watch some movies. He had liked them but was still learning Japanese at the time so he wasn't picking up on much: like the plot and what the hell they were doing in a walking house.

On the shelves there were countless Anime's and Manga's sorted alphabetically, by type, and series. Kiku had gotten such a creative mind from the Chinaman but Yao had no idea how he was so organised. Every room in Yao's house was a mess, he had no idea how to organise anything. It was all shoved in places that looked neat but he could never find it.

"Kiku!" Yao called out getting out of bed. Slowly he walked around the house looking for the smaller man. No such luck. "Must be picking up Kaoru."

Yao made his way back to Kiku's room looking at the Manga's. His eyes narrowed in on some manga's: not alphabetically sorted among the rest.

He pulled the one in the middle out flipping through the pages slowly. His heart raced, his eyes growing wide and his skin paling as he realised what he was holding. It was an erotic manga. Yao looked around for a moment, trying to decide on what to do.

He knew Kiku would read this kind of stuff, it was bound to happen. Yao knew that he himself was quite… promiscuous as a teenager, however he never had… this. Not that his teen years were nothing like Kiku's, if you told the other nations you were sleeping with someone your own sex you'd be dragged through the streets. Unless that nation was Ancient Greece, she was surprisingly open to everything. The smaller man decided to just accept it, it wasn't like he could change it.

Instead Yao began reading the novel. Lucky his Japanese was perfect now. He sat in the corner of his brother's room, curled in a ball on the ground, reading porn. Yao was probably halfway through the book when the door slammed open.

"Wake up sleepy head!" Kaoru jumped through door. Yao jumped ten-foot juggling the book. Kiku came in after him with a worried look on his pale face.

"Please don't-" They both stopped realising Yao grabbing a book and looking at them. For a moment they looked at each other than Yao put the book behind his back and smiled.

"What are you reading?" Kaoru asked raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing," Yao smiled innocently. Kiku looked at the interrupted shelf going bright red. In that moment when their eyes met Kiku realised what was going on and went bright red.

"Uh… Kaoru can you grab Yao's bag and go… do something else," Kiku stated. Kaoru looked at them both then turned leaving deciding the situation was to awkward for his liking. As soon as he was out of ear shot Kiku slammed the door.

"We need to discuss you're reading collection, aru," Yao began.

"You read my manga's? Those ones? Out of all of them?" Kiku went bright red.

"I'd like to defend myself by saying it's nothing I haven't done before-"

"Yao!" Kiku covered his ears going bright red.

"What? You see on this page?" Yao opened the book to the page where they were having rather bendy sex in a small space. "I've done this plenty of times and it's nothing to be ashamed of, aru."

"Yao!" Kiku covered his eyes going bright red. "I don't want to know! I do not!"

A small knock at the door: "Are you two alright in there?"

"We're fine," Kiku sighed. "Please go far away."

"Okay… can I use your PS4?"

"Yes," Kiku sighed looking down.

"Thanks," Kaoru wandered off.

"I've also done this-"

"Brother!" Kiku went bright red. Yao let out a bit of a laugh.

"I'm just kidding, I wasn't that bad," Yao laughed looking at the picture of the two men doing a few unspeakable acts on the one page. "Actually…"

"Yao!" Kiku screeched. "I am very uncomfortable right now, can we please not talk about this ever?"

"Can I finish this?"

Kiku took a deep breath looking down: "Yes."

"Oh and can I have a pen?" Yao pushed with a smiled.

"No!" Kiku's mouth dropped.

"Worth a try," Yao sat back down opening the book. Kiku sighed turning and leaving Yao to his novel. It wasn't a side to his older brother he wanted to see. He especially hated the image of Yao having bendy closet sex with some stranger.

* * *

"Yao, dinner's ready!" Kiku called out serving out rice and other various dishes. 

"Coming!" Yao shuffled up the hall, the phone on one ear. "Yes, just email it."

"Who is he talking to?" Kaoru asked amazed that Yao had somehow changed, had a shower and was talking about contracts in the last half hour.

"I have no idea but that's my mobile," Kiku rubbed his eyes softly. Yao was not, per say, the best of house guest. Especially as his siblings house guest. He had a tendency to make himself at home.

He had adapted to the same principles at Ivan's house, genuinely shocking the Russian when he found a china town set up in his lounge room.

"Of course I know how to check my emails!" Yao went bright red, huffing. "I'm old but I'm not stupid, aru!"

"Someone who annoys him. I'm going to say… Im So," Kaoru nodded.

"He's talking about contracts. I say Alfred."

"That was one time. I had no idea how smartphones worked. Paper and pen work fine. Well right now isn't an example, obviously, aru. No I will not! Goodbye. Yes I will be there for your birthday in 3 months. I'll get you a present…"

"Ivan," Kaoru nodded. "It's Ivan."

"You can't change it," Kiku stated.

"I do what I want."

"I will not get you that!" Yao hung up, glaring at the phone.

"What did Ivan want for his birthday?" Kaoru asked.

"He wanted me to punch Alfred in the nose," Yao sighed sitting down at the table.

"That would make for a great present," Kaoru nodded.

"Please do not beat up Alfred-san like you beat up Arthur-san. I'm still hearing about it from Arthur."

"It's been less than a week, aru, besides I already have Ivan's present," Yao smiled. "This looks lovely Kiku."

"Thank you, what did you get Ivan?"

"It's a secret," Yao pulled the rice towards him.

"I used a recipe from Thailand, its coconut rice." Kiku sounded so incredibly proud of himself. Then Yao looked up at him, judging his choice.

"Why would change rice? Rice is perfect as it is. What did rice do to you?"

Kaoru covered his face to hide his laughter at Yao's look of betrayal and Kiku's confusion. Kaoru was so glad he had a camera set up for this dinner.

"I thought you'd like something new. This makes it nicer."

"Rice isn't nice enough for you? I feel like you're just trying to hurt the rice's feelings now, aru," Yao crossed his arms, glaring.

"It's rice, it doesn't have feelings," Kiku argued. Yao's mouth hung open and he gasped.

"You monster," Yao breathed out. Still shocked.

"Just try it brother, you may like it," Kiku sighed. Yao mumbled in Ancient Chinese under his breath, plopping the rice on his plate. He always mumbled in his the Ancient version of his language when he was annoyed- partly because no one in the world could understand him.

Yao pulled another plate towards himself.

"Is this one of mine?" Yao asked looking down at it. It looked like one of his recipes'.

"It's Mei's version of it," Kiku replied. Yao paused again staring at him. Kaoru snorted, shaking his head. Kiku looked up at Yao's judging look and sighed.

"Here, this is one of your recipes that I haven't changed a bit," The Japanese man pushed a dish towards him. "This one is one of mine I haven't changed. Better?"

"Better." Yao nodded. Kiku shook his head looking over at Kaoru. It had begun.

* * *

In a matter of 2 hours Yao had taken the spare room, the TV and the couch. His clothes were in the washing machine, his food was in the fridge.

They all had to watch his movie and he took up the whole big couch.

"Are you comfortable Yao?" Kaoru asked sarcastically.

"Can I have your pillow?" Yao asked curiously looking expectantly at his siblings.

"Here," Kiku passed him a small pillow.

"Xie Xie," Yao smiled lying down again. "Very comfortable."

Kiku walked into the kitchen, he couldn't take this movie for the hundredth time. No exaggeration.

"Are you okay brother?" Kaoru followed him.

"I love our older brother but he can be insufferable at the best of times," Kiku sighed.

"He's not having a moment, he could be drawing on the all you walls."

"That is a plus," Kiku agreed. "Ice cream?"

"You know me to well," Kaoru grinned.

"Can I have Ice cream to? 3 scoops!" Yao called out. Kiku sighed.

"We're out of strawberry," Kaoru lied.

"Liar, I want strawberry!" Yao snapped.

"You tried," Kiku complimented. Kaoru nodded pulling out a bowl. Yao Wang, the only living person in the world who ate strawberry ice cream.

"Is it just me or is he driving you mad?" Kiku questioned pulling out a bowl.

"He's… mentally unstable, I think, we have to be nice to him," Kaoru nodded.

"So we can't crush up sleeping pills and put them in his ice-cream?" Kiku held up the bottle.

"Hm… I'm thinking about it…" Kaoru sighed. "We can't, he'd know."

The phone began to ring, making the two jump when Yao came around the corner.

"Hello Yao speaking," Yao put the phone to one ear. "Yes Ivan, I know that I have a contract to sign. I'll do it now. No, it's okay, I'll just use Kiku's office."

Kiku looked up shocked, ready to object but Yao was gone. Sometimes that nation didn't understand that Kiku was no longer his colony and had personal and highly sensitive information in his office.

"Just one?" Kaoru held up the bottle once more.

"Half of one," Kiku countered. They both agreed pulling one out and attempting to cut it in half.

* * *

" _What are they doing now?"_ Ivan questioned curiously.

"I'm not sure, I think they're putting sleeping pills in my ice cream, aru," Yao shrugged logging onto Kiku's computer, Kiku hadn't changed his passwords in twenty years.

" _Sleeping pills? Are you having trouble sleeping?"_ Ivan questioned.

"Not that I know of, Alfred's pills knocked me out for ha day," Yao grumbled opening his emails. He slowly found the one from Ivan, scowling at all the hearts on the email before printing the document.

" _I heard about that, you know Kiku uploaded a picture of you. Very cute,"_ Ivan laughed.

"Aiya!" Yao growled pulling his contract out of the printer. "Can I see it?"

" _Are you on Kiku's computer?"_

"Yes, yes, just tell me the www thingy,"

" _The web address_ ," Ivan laughed. " _Open the web browser."_

"The what?" Yao looked confused.

" _The thing you watch YouTube on_ ," Ivan finished.

"Oh…" Yao nodded opening the browser.

" _Is there an icon that is a blue square with a white T_?"

"Um… Yes," Yao smiled. "There are two: one says tumblr, I think, the other is some strange name…"

" _Click the strange one_ ," Ivan was still laughing at Yao. Yao did as he was told.

"I'm not going to have to see that same things in Kiku's private manga's he hides under his bed, am I?"

" _I'm guessing from his personal blog it's porn and no,_ "

"Oh good, that was awkward."

" _You read them? This peaks my interest, maybe you should tell me what happened in the story."_

"Number one: you're a pervert and no, number two: Are you drunk?"

" _Only a little bit, Francis gave me wine. I could not refuse,_ " Ivan shrugged. Yao rolled his eyes with a laugh. Most people thought when Ivan was drunk he was dangerous but really he went through stages: laughing, flirting, dancing, singing, stupid, emotional and then violent. It was very rare Ivan would reach violent these days. He'd reach emotional then not have enough energy to carry on. Yao guessed that currently he was at the flirting stage.

"You're drunk. How do I remove this photo?"

" _You break my heart Yao,"_ Ivan sounded hurt.

"Plus it's nothing I hadn't done before,"

" _Wait, what?"_

"How do I remove it?"

" _Just a title? Please,"_ Ivan begged. Yao laughed victoriously.

"No,"

" _Well I'm not helping with the photo removal_. _In fact I'm going to make it my desktop background_."

"Hey! Don't you dare!" Yao snapped.

" _Done, now to make it my lock screen picture on my phone."_

"I don't even know what that is!"

" _I know you don't,_ " Ivan cracked up.

"I'm hanging up on you," Yao snapped.

" _Go ahead, I know you_ _like it."_

"I really don't,"

" _Denial,"_ Ivan sighed, disappointed in Yao. " _I'm sad for you."_

"Why do I put up with you again?" Yao scanned the contract, pulling out a pen.

" _I have a great… personality,_ "

Yao rolled his eyes with a grin: "Right. Keep guessing."

" _Um… Nice ass, highly flexible, trained bar tender, will wear shorts. I'm pretty much your average skanky barmaid."_

"You're the whole package." Yao rolled his eyes scanning in the signed contract.

" _I know,"_ Ivan laughed. " _Also I do body shots for free."_

"I'll keep that in mind. Signed and sent," Yao laughed pressing send.

_"And you didn't send me any hearts back,"_ Ivan scoffed. " _I'm offended."_

"Okay, I'm actually hanging up on you now."

" _Till next time Yao_ ," Ivan smiled.

"Goodbye," Yao knew his cheeks were burning red as he hung up.

"I'll remind Kiku to disinfect his phone," A voice spoke up. "After you flirted with Ivan on it."

"Ivan and I do not flirt," Yao snapped at Kaoru.

"It's one hundred percent flirting, and is that Kiku's account?"

"Can you take this photo down?" Yao asked curiously.

"No Yao, its part of your journey," Kaoru shook his head.

"Yao, here's your ice cream, is that my computer? How did you get in?" Kiku rushed around, sitting down the bowl. Yao ignored him as Kiku madly tried to figure out how Yao got into his computer.

Instead he rolled over to the shredder putting the contract through and then back to his ice cream.

"Yao, how did you get into this?" Kiku questioned.

"Huh?" Yao looked up at him confused then back at his ice cream. Moving it around suspiciously. "It was on."

Kiku sighed, there was no way he could win. Instead he would need to just wait for Yao's sleeping tablets to kick in and put him back in bed.

"I don't want this," Yao pushed the bowl away.

"Why not?" Kiku's mouth dropped.

"Because you put sleeping pills in it," Yao replied getting up and leaving.

"How did he know?" Kaoru looked shocked at his brother.

"I don't know, he knows everything," Kiku sighed, logging off his computer and shutting it down. Yao wouldn't make it pass the location of the power button.

"Maybe we should just knock him out," Kaoru looked down at the ice cream, picking it back up.

"He would make us feel bad when he wakes up. What was he doing in here?"

"From his actions when we came in he signed a contract for Ivan, scanned and sent it back to him. Then checked your blog to find the picture we uploaded of him."

"Is that all?"

"He denies it because he's old but he was flirting with Ivan on your phone."

Kiku groaned, letting his head fall onto the desk: "Now I need new phones!"

"Kiku! Where's the remote controller for the television?" Yao called out.

"The remote for the TV, Yao!" Kaoru called out.

"It's on the kitchen bench," Kiku finished quickly.

Over the next two days Yao made himself at home, pretty much moving in and treating Kiku's place like his own. Kaoru was the lesser evil but often stayed over at Kiku's place so the Japanese man didn't mind.

Kiku would say it was Yao's cultural arrogance that led him to often being the houseguest from hell. His breaking point occurred one sunny afternoon, they had left Yao to his own devices for an hour only to come home and find Yao had pretty much moved into Kiku's office and his whole kitchen had been changed around to look like Yao's.

"What happened?" Kiku's mouth dropped as he stared at the pantry. It was all Chinese food, not even his panda bite sized biscuits had made the trip.

"I just restocked, to thank you," Yao nodded. Kiku looked to one side to see exactly where all his biscuits had gone.

"I- You-"

"Oh crap, Yao, you broke him," Kaoru took a few steps back.

"You're much too worked up about things," Yao laughed. "I also had to borrow your office again so I cleaned it for you."

"Yao, everything in that office was in order. You don't even know what order is," Kiku began to stress. "My pantry was in order!"

"Not anymore," Yao laughed walking off. Kiku then began the 3 stages of a mental breakdown:

1) Hyperventilating.

2) Shaking uncontrollably.

3) Rolling into a ball on the ground.

"We need to get rid of him," Kiku decided from his ball.

"How?" Kaoru replied.

_Knock, knock,_ "Ve! It's me and Luddy!"

They looked up at each other in shock then out at the door.

"Can we?" Kaoru began.

"Could we?" Kiku replied.

"Yes," They both decided rushing off.

"Oh hello, aru, how are you?" Yao opened the door to the two. In a second Yao felt a force push him out the door and his bag appeared next to him.

"Take him!" A voice yelled then the door was slammed and locked.

The two lovers looked at each other then at Yao who was curiously watching all the windows close and the house go silent.

"Just rude, aru," Yao snapped, hands on his hips.

"Looks like you're staying with us," Ludwig began.

"Ve! This is going to be so much fun! Like a sleep over!"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh deary me, poor Ludwig. Please Review!
> 
> Thanks,
> 
> SeeleFairyWitch


	7. Ludwig's Home

" _Now take a deep breath in and let out the breath as you reach down to your toes_ ," The calming voice on the TV ordered. Yao followed the lady perfectly, bending in half completely.

Feliciano who was on the mat next to him groaned: "I can only get to my knees," He complained.

Yao looked to one side at him: "Just follow the lady on your side, she's the beginner's model."

"Ve, Okay, that seems easier than what you're doing," Feliciano smiled at him. Yao couldn't help but smile back- Feliciano was so pure: no jealousy, no disappointment, he was content with whatever his lengths were. It was overly refreshing to perform Yoga with him.

"If you keep doing this every day then you'll be able to touch your toes soon," Yao smiled.

" _Now slowly inch your left leg outwards, taking in deep, calming breaths,"_ The lady did so with ease like Yao.

"Just relax your backside," Yao explained. Feliciano looked confused but did so, getting further down his legs.

"Oh, it works, lucky I have a good friend like you to give me unusual tips," Feliciano laughed.

"That's okay Feliciano, just out of curiosity," Yao finished shuffling, his legs now down into a split. "Why are you trying to be more flexible?"

"Truthfully?" Feliciano looked up at him. Yao wasn't sure if the shock showed on his face but he was pretty sure he'd never seen those brown eyes in his life. He had personally thought they were Lovino's colour.

"Uh, Yes," Yao flicked his head away realizing that staring into Feliciano's eyes for too long was unnerving. 

"I was hoping if I was flexible than Luddy and I could have bendy sex," Feliciano looked back down. Yao couldn't hide this wave of shock, he looked at Feliciano completely dumb founded. Feliciano didn't even know Yao that well, their talk on the plane ride over was the longest, and quite possible last, time they'd spent together. 

Yao saw Roma in Feliciano's eyes and sighed looking back down- his grandfather was the same: always oversharing about his love life with everyone. He decided to roll with it and just say what immediately came to mind. 

"You know," Yao took a deep breath, to stretch further. "You and Ludwig, he doesn't seem like the kind to… you know… with raw passion and so forth."

"Ve, I thought so to. Then we finally, you know, he's very different in the bedroom," Feliciano assured Yao. Yao nodded, he could imagine that. In the past Yao had lovers who seemed to be completely different people once they got you naked.

" _Now you are as close to the ground as you can, roll onto your neck keeping your legs above your head_ ," The TV lady was now confusing Yao. He had never heard of this move before.

Feliciano did the same with little success, one leg flicked onto the ground and the younger Italian cursed in his native language before pulling his leg back up. 

"Thank you for doing this with me," Feliciano smiled at him from where he was awkwardly bended.

"That's okay," Yao smiled back.

" _Pull your knees down beside your head, resting your shins against the ground. Keep your bottom high in the air_ ," She directed.

"Out of curiosity, what kind of Yoga DVD is this?" Yao questioned doing as the screen told him to. 

"Um… Preparing for the best night of your life or something," The Italian shrugged.

" _A position like this allows a pile driver position for your man_ ," She smiled at the screen. Yao felt his body freeze over, he was now stuck with his ass in the air and someone was talking about raunchy sex... in Ludwig's house. The China man would've laughed at the idea of being in this position a week ago but now it terrified him to see how low he had sunk. 

"What?" Yao looked shocked. The fear began to make his hands twitch and he needed to write suddenly.

"It says funny things like that all the time," He laughed. "I'm not sure what they're talking about."

"You need to spend more time on the internet, aru," Yao replied then heard the click of a camera. He looked to the other side to see that undeniable pair of worn black, steel capped boots; covered with those old black slacks. Leading all the way up to what Yao was surprised to see was a long black suit coat with a white under top and purple tie.

While the coat and tie were unfamiliar Yao instantly recognised those purple eyes and childish smile.

"Just keeping in shape for the bedroom, are we Yao?" Ivan looked down at his phone. Suddenly the itch was gone, replaced with pure embarrassment.

"Did you just take a photo? Give me that!" Yao growled getting to his feet.

"Nyet," Ivan laughed.

"Ivan!" Yao reached for the phone. Ivan held his arms up, keeping the phone far out of Yao's reach.

"Go Yao!" Feliciano cheered from where he had given up on stretching and was sitting in a cross-legged mess on the ground.

"Nyet," Ivan attached the photo, he now started to think of something catchy to go with the beautiful photo of Yao with his ass in the air.

"You're a jerk, give me the phone!" Yao jumped trying to grab the phone.

"Why do you try Yao? Even if you got my phone you wouldn't know how to delete it," Ivan laughed still thinking of something funny.

"Screw you Ivan Braginsky!" Yao pushed one annoyed finger into his chest, it only made Ivan laugh harder.

"Can you think of anything funny to write under your ass picture?" Ivan asked. "Something that won't make me sound like a pervert."

"You are a pervert!" Yao snapped jumping for the phone. His fingers coming inches from the device.

"Ah, so close," Ivan laughed turning around.

"Ugh," Yao stood back giving up. Ivan tapped his foot for a moment then smiled tapping away at his smartphone while Yao glared daggers at him.

"Don't forget the tag and now… perfect…" Ivan grinned. He waited a moment, staring at his phone. "And sent. Thank you Yao." Ivan grinned.

"Sometimes I want to slap you," Yao confessed, his eyes boring holes in Ivan.

"I knew you liked it rough Yao Yao," Ivan laughed turning and leaving.

"What are you even doing here?" Yao immediately changed the subject.

"G8 meeting," Ivan shrugged, placing his hands in his pocket.

"Ve, Luddy!" Feliciano took that as his cue to run off.

"I am just guessing but your siblings pawned you off to Germany somehow, da?" Ivan smiled, hands in pocket.

"They did," Yao sighed. "I don't know why though."

Ivan held up a single finger pulling out his phone, his smile told Yao that he knew why. Yao noticed quickly he wasn't wearing any gloves in order to use the phone properly. Quickly Ivan pulled his phone back out tapping the screen a few times before a dark chuckle escaped his lips. Yao felt a shiver run down his spine, the inside of his thighs burned and his stomach twisted. 

"He's driving me insane, somebody please kill me," Ivan repeated in a slightly robotic tone.

"Kiku said that?" Yao looked shocked.

"No Kaoru," Ivan laughed. "Then he put a picture up of Kiku having a mental freak out. Still nothing like the time you set up a China town in my house."

"You said I could make myself at home," Yao defended himself, looking at Ivan up and down. He actually looked really nice in the suit, it matched his solid figure while bringing out his beautiful eyes and skin.

"This is true, I was finding rice in my carpet for a few months after."

"You should've installed tiles, like me," Yao laughed at him.

"Once again you are right," Ivan nodded. "So what will you be doing while the G8 is on?"

"Apparently no one trust me to be alone so I will be attending instead of Kiku, who is amazingly sick."

"Again," Ivan tsked, shaking his head. "Let me guess: Yet another kitty has fallen ill in the Greek household?"

"I would imagine so, yes, aru," Yao laughed shaking his head.

"Makes sense," Ivan nodded understandingly as they turned to walk through the deserted house. "Beat anyone else up lately?"

"Not yet, I'm planning beating up some jerk soon though."

"Oh really?" Ivan began to walk towards the meeting room. Yao stayed beside him with ease as Ivan often took smaller steps when he was around Yao. 

"Yes, he's very tall, blonde, you know him?"

"I can't say Alfred and I are that close but I do know him," Ivan nodded.

"You wish," Yao rolled his eyes.

"I can always try. Also, if you wish to beat me up then you will fail," Ivan laughed opening the door for Yao to enter the room.

"Right, in your dreams, aru," Yao rolled his eyes looking around the room. No one else was in the room.

"Probably," Ivan nodded in agreement knowing Yao could take him down with one pressure point if he wanted to.

"I like your suit by the way, it's nice," Yao commented.

"U-uh, thank you," Ivan's eyes widened slightly and his arm crossed his chest to cover himself. A small, genuine smile crossed the Russians lips. Yao felt a similar smile spread to his lips. He loved how Ivan had trouble taking compliments.

"Did you wear that for a special reason?" Yao questioned. Ivan went a darker shade of red and his eyes shot to the ground.

"Just felt like a change, da?" Ivan smiled, his eyes shot back, but Yao could tell he was lying. Just like when he was a child he would rub his thumbs together when he lied.

"Speaking of change, I better get changed," Yao decided to not push the subject, turning to leave.

"You need help with that?" Ivan asked, his smile turning cheeky.

"I'm old but not that old," Yao replied wandering out the door. He heard Ivan chuckle from behind him.

* * *

Yao hated this meeting, more than this meeting he hated the sound of Alfred's voice. Yao was about ready to give Ivan what he wanted for his birthday when finally Arthur interrupted and told him to shut it.

The rest of the meeting consisted of arguing and fighting about things that didn't matter- like a mini version of world meetings.

Yao felt his phone buzz in his pocket and pulled it out looking down.

_'Bored yet?'_ Ivan texted. Yao raised an eyebrow at him from across the table. Ivan smiled nicely like always, his eyes locked on with Yao's and he raised them suggestively. Yao couldn't stop himself from rolling his eyes as he looked back down. 

' _This feels familiar to world meetings_ ' Yao replied. Now that he could actually text it was so much easier to tell people what to do. No doubt Kaoru regretted teaching his older brother the art.

' _Only smaller, right?'_

_'You're reading my mind_ ,'

_'I know you well Yao. I give this meeting five seconds._ '

Yao paused waiting out the time.

_3…2…1…0!_

"Stop it!" Ludwig growled. "Break time!"

"Told you," Ivan smiled standing up with the others.

"You spend too much time stalking people," Yao explained as they exited the room as a pair.

"I prefer the term 'observational research'," Ivan replied in a matter-of-fact tone. Yao shook his head, unable to hide the grin on his face.

"Right," Yao looked at him in disbelief. "What did I have for breakfast then?"

"Alas, I do not know this answer. Perhaps you should ask Alfred," Ivan replied. Yao cracked up, shaking his head.

"Hey dudes, we're all going down to some nice place Ludwig recommended. It's mostly sausages I think. So you two are coming yes?"

"Only if you can tell Yao what he had for breakfast," Ivan replied.

"Oatmeal, duh," Alfred rolled his eyes. "Now hurry up!"

With that Alfred turned and scuffed Francis' hair up, cackling as he ran off into the street. 

"See I told you," Ivan replied with a knowing smile.

"That's creepy," Yao criticised.

"He's better than me," Ivan agreed. "Sausages then?"

"Sounds like we can't get out of it, aru."

Ivan laughed letting his head drop, Yao watched him look sideways at the smaller man and grin.

Something about the Russian always intrigued Yao, there was something not quite right in his eyes but everything else about the larger man was so very right. Yao always loved pale skin, bright eyes, light hair and a big figure- it was in his heritage. Slowly over the years Yao had also grown to love that accent. Perhaps this was a confession that would never leave his lips either. It wasn't like Ivan made his heart beat faster from a crush, it was fear.

At least that's what Yao told himself when Ivan opened the front door for him, letting the smaller man go first.

* * *

"The wiener hut," Alfred read the title on the menu. "I'm interested to see what has been purchased."

"It's a few platters with different types of sausage. You can choose to eat it how you like," Ludwig spoke up.

"Yo, Ivan," Alfred punched Ivan's arm, Ivan looked over at him raising an eyebrow. "Look it's our favourite person."

"Gilbert!" Ivan cheered as the albino man wandered in.

"Ew gross, I'm sitting over here," Gilbert sat down near his brother and Matthew. "So, did I miss the free food?"

"No, it's coming," Ludwig sighed.

"Fuck yeah," Gilbert looked away until he spotted the Chinaman at the head of the table, with Ivan on one side and Feliciano on the other. "Wait, we all know that's Yao, right?" He asked.

"Yes, Kiku is sick, Yao is stepping in," Ludwig explained. Yao smiled and waved from his spot on the table. Gilbert just waved back knowing deep down what Ivan found so irresistibly cute about Yao. Not as cute as his Birdie but still.

"That's cool with me, Yao is my favourite anyway. Ever since he kicked your scrawny ass Arthur," Gilbert cackled.

Arthur glared at him with a sneer on his usually stale face: "Must _everyone_ bring this up."

"I don't why you're making a big deal out of this," Yao held up his fork as if to make a declaration out of his words. 

"Because it's you Yao," Alfred said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"And…" Yao looked at them all getting no response. "You know I'm trained in hand to hand combat?"

"Yeah but Yao, it's you," Gilbert laughed. "When was the last time you even pretend fought someone?"

"Um… about two weeks ago, I beat Ivan, aru," Yao looked at them confused. He noticed Ivan go pale and Alfred straighten.

"Oh no," was all Ivan could say before the onslaught. 

"Wait, wait! Yao kicked your ass!" Alfred cracked up. Now everyone was laughing, even Ludwig was smirking. All except Yao and Ivan.

Ivan rubbing his eyes softly, shaking his head and muttering in Russian.

"He's well trained," Ivan defended himself.

"He's a third your size man!" Alfred laughed falling back.

"Hey," Ivan glared. "I take offense for Yao. He knows pressure points and they hurt like hell."

"Like your pride," Gilbert cackled. Ivan smiled looking back at Yao.

"This is why we can't go to nice places Yao," He shook his head holding back a laugh.

Yao shrugged leaning back and laughing.

"You are three times my size," Yao shrugged. "And I flipped you."

"Holy shit!" Alfred cackled. "I want a video."

"Why would I video Yao kicking my ass?" Ivan asked looking critical. They continued to laugh for a moment, going silent then Alfred laughed again to himself. 

"Here we go," The waitress sat down some platters. There were many platters with various types of sausage and extras sat around extra's. Each nations was passed a plate.

Yao was in awe that somehow they were all different types of sausage but managed to pick out the best looking ones.

It wasn't long until the children, Ivan and Alfred, decided to make as many rude jokes as they could.

"I dare you to put my whole wiener in your mouth," Alfred held the sausage up to Ivan's face as the Russian took a sip. Ivan swallowed his drink wrong laughing and coughing at the same time.

"That whole thing?" Ivan raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, my wiener, it's an exact replica of the real deal man."

"I think you may be over-compensating," Ivan raised an eyebrow.

"What's wrong man? Don't think you can handle my wiener," Alfred asked, no smile on his lips. Ivan narrowed his eyes at Alfred.

Gilbert choked on his meal, going red. Arthur shook his head, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Only if you take my wiener," Ivan countered.

"Done," Alfred laughed. He managed to shove the whole sausage down Ivan's throat almost choking the Russian.

Ivan went red as he chewed, probably running out of breath. Yao was about prepared to punch him so hard in the chest he coughed the sausage back up when Ivan swallowed, coughing slightly.

"Not even that big," Ivan commented picking up a plate of enormous sausages.

"Woah man, that's too big," Alfred paled.

"You said exact replica, da?"

"Now we know who's over-compensating," Alfred pushed Ivan's hand away.

"You are not sporting, take it- come on," Ivan grabbed Alfred. Alfred pushed away, putting a foot up to push on Ivan's stomach.

"No- do not want-"

"You promised," Ivan replied forcing Alfred's mouth open. Alfred wiggled to get away.

Yao could only shake his head- two nations who would never actually sexually touch each other seemed more than happy to shove metaphorical representations of their penises in the others mouth. Unlike the more prudish nations however Yao had to cover his mouth to hide his amused smile.

"Rape-" Alfred got out before Ivan shoved the entire sausage in his mouth. Gilbert cracked up covering his eyes.

"Swallow," Ivan covered Alfred's mouth. Alfred slowly chewed, eyes squeezed shut turning a bright red.

"Come on dude, spitters are quitters," Gilbert laughed. Ivan lost it, his head falling back, hand on stomach to let out a huge belly laugh.

"Idiots," Francis shook his head but was laughing.

Alfred chewed slowly swallowing, he opened his eyes taking deep calming breaths.

"Ugh, spicy," Alfred let his tongue hang out. "You're a jerk."

"Thanks," Ivan smiled back. Arthur shook his head, sadly.

"Now that you two have figured out you could take in the whole of the other ones penis can we go back to our meeting?" Arthur questioned.

"Well I haven't tested if I could take on my own," Ivan looked saddened. Arthur went red at the comment looking completely mortified at Ivan. Yao couldn't even stifle that laugh but he wasn't the only one. It was pretty commonly known that Ivan had a sincere dislike for Arthur and he would sass the smaller man at any chance he got. 

"Ve, look," Feliciano smiled from beside Yao. Yao looked at him confused then felt a flower in his hair. For a moment he wondered how Feliciano got the flower into his hair, then he remembered this was the Roman Empires Grandson. He had to pick up something, right?

"Um… thank you Feliciano, aru," Yao went red.

"Nah man, you just need to test this one. It's Yao's," Alfred held up the smallest sausage. Yao felt his heart beat faster, his cheeks burn red and the rage flare up.

Yao probably would've seen Ivan go bright red if he wasn't boring holes into Alfred. Ivan pushed his seat back, looking between the two. Ivan held up his phone, starting to record Yao without the Asians knowledge.

"Oh come on Yao, it's funny," Alfred shrugged.

"I think my hands are twitching, to bad I can't write," Yao started in a deadly tone. "I guess I'll have to keep my hands busy suffocating you, aru."

"You're so funny man," Alfred shook his head.

"Run Forest," Ivan warned. Alfred noticed the fear in Ivan's eyes, his smile dropping.

"Feliciano," Yao began.

"Si?"

"Hold my flower," Yao took the flower out of his hair passing it to the Italian.

"Okay," He smiled taking the small pink flower gracefully.

"I'm out," Alfred jumped up, skidding out of the restaurant.

"Come back here!" Yao was after him in a flash. The whole group was silent for a moment when they heard a scream and a bang.

"Oh, old man got him," Gilbert cracked up. The whole group, including the prudes, couldn't help but laugh when Yao came past the window dragging Alfred, face down along the hard concrete path. Others watched on, wandering if they should help the blonde man but deciding against it when they saw the look of death on Yao's dark features.

"Um… would you like us to call the police sir?" A waiter asked Ludwig.

"No, they're fine," He replied with a sigh. "He deserves it, trust me."

"Okay then, anything else today?"

"We're fine, thank you," Ludwig nodded seeing Yao change direction, dragging Alfred on his back.

"Maybe we should use something other than violence to keep Yao's hands busy," Matthew suggested.

"It's humorous though and makes an amusing feed," Ivan stood to one side with the camera, taking a video of the scene. Best. Present. Ever.

"You're putting that online right?" Gilbert asked, leaning back on his chair.

"Of course," Ivan smiled in reply.

"Good, good," Gilbert nodded. "Continue."

"It's working so well though," Francis laughed. "Besides he looks sexy when he's angry."

"You're next!" Yao yelled dropping Alfred.

"I'm off then," Francis disappeared.

"So, that meeting," Feliciano laughed lightly.

"It does look as though it's not happening," Arthur sighed.

Alfred stumbled in, falling into his seat.

"Holy crap," Was all he could say. "He tackled me and pressure pointed my arms. It hurt like hell."

"Now you know my pain," Ivan replied with a nod.

"So who is taking Yao now?" Ludwig questioned.

"Well… everyone here has had to put up with Yao," Alfred scratched his chin.

"Except me," Ivan raised a hand.

"Why don't you send him to someone who can keep Yao busy for a while?" Francis questioned.

"Now I am just being ignored," Ivan sighed but smiled, shaking his head.

"You could send him to Poland, I know he is repainting his house," Feliciano mused.

"Hey that's a great idea!" Alfred grinned.

"He can still paint the words," Arthur looked between them critical.

"I'll call him," Gilbert pulled out his phone with a grin.

"Now I'm being ignored, you're all just bloody rude!" Arthur snapped.

"Yo Feliks," Gilbert leaned back. "How would you like to be involved in the Yao's mental breakdown hashtag? Sure, you can bring out Yao's feminine side," Gilbert grinned at Alfred who gave him the thumbs up.

* * *

Feliks sat there staring at the bound Asian man. Yao looked up and to one side tapping his foot softly.

"Thank you for having me, your home is very… pink," Yao looked around at the pink couch and walls, curtains, so on and so forth.

"Like, thanks, I just redecorated," Feliks grinned with a soft shrug. They both sat there in silence again for a moment.

"So… I was told you needed help painting your house," Yao brought up. There was no way he had anything in common with this man. This would be worse than all the last houses combined.

"I was finished, like, 2 months ago. However, you and I are going to get to know each other," Feliks sat foreword with a smile.

"Over tea?" Yao asked hopefully.

"More like... a makeover," Feliks grinned. Yao felt his heart drop and his whole body grow a few shades whiter.

"Oh," Was all Yao could squeeze out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> R&R?
> 
> -SeeleFairyWitch-


	8. Chapter 8

Germany sat down on the couch with a long sigh. The house was clean to his standards, Prussia was out with friends, no more paperwork and Feliciano was taking his afternoon nap upstairs. Ludwig now had some time to himself for some recreational reading and a cup of coffee.

The German sat down his cup reaching under the couch and pulling out his brother's magazine, little did he his brother know that Ludwig knew exactly where he hid all his lewd magazines. In Ludwig's defence he found them all during his strict cleaning routine, not that they were well hidden.

Ludwig silently flipped to the first page, his face not showing what his mind was thinking as he viewed the first page. Ludwig looked around, seeing no one there he put his feet up on the coffee table with a smile.

Suddenly a huge yell echoed from the country next door. Ludwig responded quickly, jumping and sitting straight. A bang this time as Feliciano stumbled down the stairs, rubbing his sleepy eyes. Ludwig reacted quickly shoving the magazine under the couch and standing up.

"Ve, who was that screaming?"

"I- I don't know," Ludwig replied stiffly. Feliciano noticed immediately that Ludwig was just-got-caught-reading-porn stiff but ignored it for the sake of whoever was screaming.

"Maybe we should call someone," The Italian wondered. However the screaming had stopped.

"It sounded like it was coming from Poland's house, I'll call him," Ludwig grunted wandering out of the room. As soon as he was gone Feliciano flopped to the couch reaching under. He smiled finding Ludwig's magazine and began to flip through it with a grin.

* * *

"Yeah, yeah, I know, he is loud, right? Like, I'll let him know, thanks. Tata," Feliks sat down his phone looking over at Yao. Yao groaned rubbing his eyes, he could still feel the burning pain on his body, like nothing before.

"What is it?" Yao groaned.

"You need to keep it down boy, you're disturbing Ludwig's alone time," Feliks pointed out.

"You ripped hair out of my face," Yao snapped.

"Oh calm yourself, it was one or two nose hairs, some ear. Just to get rid of the old man look," Feliks laughed. "I didn't even have to touch your eyebrows, they're perfect. Also your legs, silky smooth. Must be an Asian thing cause your brothers are, like, the same. Even Mei, lucky girl."

"Why am I letting you do this to me?"

"To make you look fabulous, duh," Feliks stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Why do I need to look fabulous?" Yao winced rubbing his sore ears.

"For your man!" Feliks laughed. "You have a man right?"

"No, I do not," Yao looked up at him, one eye twitching like his hands.

"Oh, well maybe there's a man you want to impress?" Feliks pushed with a grin. Yao shook his head. "Oh, give it up! I know you like that psycho Russian! Personally I think he's the devil but whatever you like, I don't judge."

"What? Ivan? No," Yao shook his head but held his ears.

"Don't lie to me," Feliks rolled his bright eyes then grinned. "I know you'd hate to dress up as a girl and trust me if Ivan goes to all the trouble of liking you then he's probably not into women. Now that means we have to find you something sexy but manly. I'm thinking skinny jeans."

"Since when are skinny jeans anything but constricting?" Yao asked dumbfounded. "Look, I don't want to impress Ivan. I'm fine just the way I am."

"You're right, changing you would do no good. He already follows you around like a puppy so that's not the problem," Feliks wondered for a second. "Do you want tea?"

Yao let out a deep breath and smiled, finally a reasonable question: "Yes please."

"Okay good, I know a great massage place that sells tea. We're getting pampered!" Feliks squealed. Yao's face dropped and he glared at the Polish man.

"I do not like people touching me! This is ridiculous!" Yao's hands began to burn hot, his need to write growing by the second. "Why did I ever go along with this ridiculous scheme to cure me of something that isn't a problem? I'm leaving!" Feliks raised an eyebrow with a grin. "I am done with this whole thing! You Western nations are just too weird for me! I'm never! Ever!"

* * *

"Ever leaving this spot again," Yao groaned shaking his head.

Feliks grinned from where he was getting his back massaged.

"I know, right? It's like heaven on your back, the twins' fingers are magic," Feliks laughed.

"Wow, who ever thought I was tense there?" Yao winced when the man hit a tense spot but soon groaned feeling the muscle relax and his whole body go with it.

"Next we're so getting pedicure's and foot rubs, then it's lunch in my private room. Afterwards we'll get facials, back scrub and mineral bath."

''I have no idea what any of that is, aru," Yao replied.

"You'll find out," Feliks laughed. "I've also talked the manager into giving us the amazing hair wash and massage. Your hair will literally feel like silk after."

"How do you afford this?" Yao asked.

"Well, like, without my support I could shut this place down so they pretty much give it to me for free," Feliks laughed. 

"I know a few places I need to use this technique on," Yao agreed his eyes continuing to shut as he drifted in and out of consciousness. The only thing pulling him back was when Sven, his masseuse, finding a knot.

Feliks groaned: "You go boy."

Slowly Yao felt the mans' hands travel down, rubbing the knot right above his ass. Yao winced and groaned.

Feliks paused for a second listening to Yao moan.

"You sound like a whore," Feliks giggled.

"I really don't care," Yao laughed at the comment. Feliks began to belly laugh, shaking his head.

Do their utter dismay the massages finished and they were moved into another room to continue their pampering.

Yao went cross-eyed, trying to keep his cool as he had a pair of hands in his hair and another on each foot.

"Uh, this is so nice."

"It's smart they do facials, hair and feet at the same time," Yao spoke up.

"You hair is beautiful. What kind of shampoo do you use?" She asked curiously.

"Uh… It usually changes every month."

"Oh, changing brands every month. I'll have to try that," She nodded. "I'm going to wash this out now, okay?"

"Sadly I will let you," Yao laughed. She smiled rinsing his hair out, then wrapping a towel around his long hair.

"Okay I'll be right back," She left with the other lady.

"Yao," Feliks called out.

"Yes Feliks?"

"My toenails look amazing,"

Yao laughed, shaking his head: "I'm sure mine do to. You can absolutely tell no one of this."

"As long as you keep my secret to soft skin."

"Done," Yao laughed.

"You know this face scrub?"

"Yeah?"

"It's avocado," Feliks laughed.

"You're saying I could have an avocado and cucumber sandwich from my face?"

"I wouldn't eat it, I'm pretty sure they put some nasty stuff in it."

"Damn…"

They both went silent for a moment.

"I really feel like a sandwich now," Feliks spoke up. Yao cracked up, shaking his head.

"This really didn't turn out as bad as I thought it would," Yao laughed.

"You thought we wouldn't get along?"

"I did, sorry."

"Meh, I didn't expect us to like each other either. Just cause you're so different in meetings. You seem a lot more relaxed one-on-one. Maybe cause the she-demon isn't there, right?"

"I'm going to assume you mean Belarus and I'm not stiff around just her. It's the whole family," Yao laughed.

"Please? You relax around Ivan," Feliks rolled his eyes under the cucumber. "We all see him following you around like a puppy dog. Flirting with you, treating you like his princess. I bet you take advantage of him."

"I do no such thing," Yao sounded offended.

"Liar," Feliks cracked up. Yao also laughed, shaking his head.

* * *

"It was nice of them to take us home," Yao mused from his end of the bubbled spa bath. Feliks picked up his glass of wine looking over at Yao.

"Yeah, like, best spa date ever. Toris gets all tense and weird at the spa resort. You and I though, we should do that more often," Feliks grinned.

"Despite the fact I'm sharing a bath with you right now I am usually busy all the time."

"We're wearing pants." Feliks retorted. "I propose we have a spa date once a year."

Yao rolled his eyes sipping his glass of wine: "Fine."

"Yah!" Feliks cheered.

"I need one of these," Yao leaned back in the spa.

"Every nation needs one of these," Feliks agreed. Yao grumbled pulling his hair up and trying to keep it out of the bath. "Here, boy, lean foreword."

Yao slided foreword as Feliks sat on his knees. Quickly he felt all his hair get pulled up into a bun on the top of his head and something else.

"There, you look cute," Feliks fell back with a laugh. Yao felt his hair to feel it in a small bun with a bow.

"Why?" Yao asked slipping back.

"I missed some hair."

"Right," Yao rolled his dark eyes.

"Feliks!" Toris yelled out. He opened the door just as the two of them looked at him.

"Don't you know how to knock, geez," Feliks rolled his eyes.

"What are you doing?" Toris was bright red seeing Yao was in spa with his boyfriend.

"Relax we have pants on, right Yao?" Feliks laughed when Yao nodded finishing his wine. "What's up?"

"Uh, people have been trying to call you. Why aren't you answering?"

"I was at the spa, Yao and I had a spa date," Feliks smirked. "He is more fun than you."

"It was very nice," Yao nodded in agreement pouring himself another glass.

"Isn't that like your fourth glass?" Feliks questioned.

"I have a high alcohol tolerance, and fifth" Yao shook his head. Feliks cracked up, shaking his head.

"Right, well they just wanted to know if Yao was okay. Someone heard him screaming," Toris rubbed his sore head.

"I was pulling his gross ear hair out," Feliks shrugged. "Now he's pampered."

"I am," Yao agreed with a nod.

"I love this man," Feliks pointed to Yao with a laugh.

"Right," Toris sighed sadly.

"Oh, are you jealous?" Feliks giggled. "I love you more, remember?"

"I know," He sighed.

"Kiss," Feliks kneeled dragging Toris over with his hand signals. He grabbed each side of Toris' face once the brown-haired man was close enough and pulled him in for a long kiss.

Yao looked down and away, trying to give them some privacy.

"Also can you get us another bottle of wine? Yao took the last glass," Feliks held up the bottle once he had pulled back.

"Fine,"

"Actually get the vodka," he ordered.

"Okay," Toris laughed wandering off.

"We should do your makeup and see if you can pull off a girl," Feliks decided leaning back. Yao sipped his wine thinking for a moment.

"We should," Yao agreed. Feliks grinned, leaning back. This was more fun than getting Toris drunk and into a skirt. He'd get to do a full makeover

"Okay, five more minutes. I'll get rid of Toris then we create!"

"Yah!" Yao cheered probably a bit tipsy.

* * *

"Oh my gosh, you look fucking amazing," Feliks grinned finishing Yao's lipstick. Yao blinked blankly, his eyes now looked bigger with mascara and eyeliner on. His lips were red and plump, Feliks had done a good job even though Yao was hammered.

"Do I look pretty?" Yao asked.

"Beautiful," Feliks began to brush Yao's hair, pulling it into an extreme part. Yao hiccupped, looking around the room.

"Why do you have a makeup room?"

"Oh Yao, you really don't pay attention to other nations personal lives, do you?"

"Why would I?" Yao grumbled as Feliks tied his hair into a sassy bun. He moved around the front pulling hair out near the ears.

"Well, to start off we're all stuck in this curse together. We can at least support each other to whatever extent we like each other. Also makes deals easier to make,"

"That's true, Ivan's easier to make deals with than anyone else."

"Also because he wants your ass and thinks letting you have anything you want will help," Feliks plugged in his curler.

"That's true," Yao nodded. "So if I'm not wrong: you're a cross-dresser?"

"I am," Feliks laughed as the curler beeped at him.

"Are you turning me into a cross dresser?" Yao's eyes went wide with realisation.

"Only for the day," Feliks shrugged.

"Oh," Yao stared at the wall as Feliks began to curl the bits that hung out. "I've only dressed up as a woman once before."

"Oh really?" Feliks grinned

"Yeah, well if you don't count that one period where it was fashionable."

"I remember hearing about that, very saucy."

"Well it was nice but very confusing," Yao nodded. Feliks cracked up, sitting down the curler.

"What about this one other time?" Feliks grinned perfecting Yao's look. It was easier to make him look like a woman than Feliks originally though.

"Oh I was young and desperately in love with a general. So one of our plans to meet outside of the castle. I dressed up as a prostitute and snuck into his room in the house of sin."

"That's so sexy," Feliks laughed. "What happened to him? Old age?"

"When the Emperor found out we were together he charged the man with treason and had him executed."

"That sucks," Feliks commented.

"It did," Yao agreed. "Especially when the Emperor put a nation-wide band on touching my skin. Punishable by death."

"Asshole," Feliks scoffed.

"I know," Yao grumbled. "Like touching me would affect the kingdom."

"Yeah, that's bull," Feliks agreed finishing Yao's hair and makeup. "Just wow, you are stunning as a man and woman."

"Thank you, I think," Yao mumbled the last part looking around. "What now?"

"Outfit," Feliks replied. "I might have something in your size as well."

"It's not a dress is it?"

"Not exactly," Feliks dug around in a nearby box pulling out a small top. "This would look adorable with a little black pencil skirt.

It was a big, high necked singlet top with polka dots all over it. Feliks pulled out a tiny black pencil skirt and a pair of heels.

"I had this friend once who was, like, the tiniest thing ever so this should all fit you," Feliks sat it all down. "Trust me Yao, you will look, fabulous."

"I don't know. I'm pretty sure I don't dress up like a woman for a reason," Yao slurred blinking slowly.

"Stupid reasons, I'll wait outside, you get dressed," Feliks rolled his eyes wandering out. "Let me know when you're done!"

"Okay!" Yao laughed taking his clothes off, slowly he was able to get the clothes on. "I can't walk in these heels!"

"That's okay," Feliks wandered back in. "Yep, like I suspected. Hot."

"What? I look like a woman, aru," Yao grumbled seeing himself in the mirror.

"A hot woman. If I was straight: I'd tap you," Feliks nodded with a grin.

"Cool, now I can pick up straight guys and mess with their heads," Yao laughed evilly.

"You're so evil, take a selfie with me," Feliks pulled out his phone.

"Okay!" Yao sat next to Feliks stumbling slightly when he leaned in to get in the picture.

"You okay boy? You drank a little bit too much, didn't you?"

"No," Yao shook his head. "Do I smile?"

"Yeah boy, smile," Feliks held his phone up. _Click!_ "Wow you take good drunk photos. I'm impressed."

"I told you I could handle my * _hiccup*_ alcohol," Yao laughed.

"Okay, silly one," Feliks held the phone back up. Yao poked his tongue out as the camera when off: _Click!_

"Is it a good one?" Yao asked leaning a bit too far and falling into Feliks' lap.

"Oh shit, just lay there, here we go," Feliks patted Yao's hair letting him lie there as he grumbled under his breath. "You look super cute."

"Thanks," Yao grined his eyes slipping closed. Feliks played around on his phone, making his contribution to the #YMB tag. "What should I say? Oh I know, _Note: Yao is easily persuaded when drunk and perhaps the most fun ever._ I'm going to post this on both twitter and tumblr since the hashtag on both are pretty popular right now. I mean, like, every nation is watching your tag."

Feliks didn't wonder when Yao didn't respond, finishing off his posts and checking his calendar.

"Oh, I have a date tonight and Eduard won't be here for a while. Who's gonna take care of you?" Feliks looked down to see Yao was fast asleep. "Yao?"

"Leave the scarf on," Yao grumbled under his breath.

"Ah, sex dream," Feliks laughed. "You won't be awake for a while, I'm going to load you into a bed and leave you."

With too much ease Feliks picked Yao up and slipped him under the covers of a bed: "I can't resist."

Fixing a stray hair and positioning Yao he took another photo, adding it to his post.

"Okay, here's a glass of water, a bucket and your phone. You should be good," Feliks nodded, happy with his work. He then turned, hearing a knock at the door. In a few huge strides Feliks ripped the door open.

"Ready to go?" Toris questioned.

"Yup, all ready," Feliks smiled pulling him in for a kiss.

"Where's Yao?"

"Sleeping off all that wine and vodka, he's going to be sick when he wakes up," Feliks laughed.

"Right," Toris nodded. "Are you sure he's okay by himself?"

"What's the worst that can happen?" Feliks shrugged. "I gave him a bucket, water and left his phone there with my number on speed dial. He'll be fine."

"Okay then…" Toris seemed unbelieving but let it go. If Yao really was in trouble he would be able to handle himself. Just like Toris had seen many times before under the Soviet Union's rule.

* * *

No more than an hour later there was a knock at the door. Yao grumbled, his eyes fluttering open. Another knock, this one more urgent.

"This better be a stripper," He grumbled, his mind still fully intoxicated. Stumbling down the stairs, bare foot, he made his way to the door opening it to see the familiar Russian looking around worried.

"Yao, are you okay? Where's Feliks? He'll skin me if he sees me near his new house," Ivan looked around again, half expecting the pink-loving man to jump out with a sledge hammer. The hammer would probably be bedazzled.

"He's on a date I think," Yao smiled. "But you can take your clothes off for me Officer Steele."

"Wait, Yao, are you still drunk?" Ivan questioned. Yao fell foreword into Ivan's arms, letting the Russian catch him.

"You smell like musk, I like that," Yao smiled rubbing his head against Ivan's chest.

"Okay Yao, you're still plastered. Time for some very strong coffee," Ivan picked Yao up dragging him in and sitting him at the kitchen table. "Feliks is going to kill me," Ivan looked at the pink jars opening the one with coffee and pulling out two mugs.

"What are you doing here if Feliks doesn't like you stepping foot on his land?" Yao grumbled. Ivan turned to him with a smirk.

"He posted photos of you, I figured I should come and save what was left of your dignity," Ivan laughed boiling the kettle.

"Ugh, I feel dizzy. Can you get the bucket near my bed?"

"Sure, where is your bed?"

"Up the stairs, last door," Yao began to shake. "Hurry."

Ivan went wide-eyed, high-tailing it through the home to see a bucket near a bed in the end bedroom. Quickly, without falter, he was back at Yao's side, holding the bucket for him.

"Ugh, no, wait- it's passed. I'm okay, next shot!" Yao declared.

"No more shots for you I think Yao Yao," Ivan smiled standing to make Yao a cup of coffee.

"I don't like coffee though," Yao grumbled leaning on the table. The bucket hanging from he's skinny fingers.

"You need it," Ivan finished by pouring milk in it and sitting the cup down in front of Yao. "Drink. It'll sober you up."

"I hate you," Yao snapped taking the cup.

"Thanks," Ivan laughed rolling his eyes and sitting down with his cup. "I'm just going to call Alfred."

"Okie dokie," Yao sipped his coffee. Ivan slowly walked away, completely amused by the older man and he's antics.

"Alfred, its Ivan. I have checked on Yao. I am still alive, yes: Feliks isn't here. Just left him." Ivan looked back at Yao. "He's okay now because he's still drunk. It'll kill him when he sobers up."

"I'm fine, aru," Yao slurred the last part. "Bastard." Ivan wandered closer to the table.

"Yeah, tried to get me to take my clothes off when I walked through the door. I can keep an eye on him, he'll be fine with me," Ivan smiled softly as Yao groaned rubbing his eyes. "I think I can manage that. Just tell Feliks you picked him up, not me. He'll freak and burn his house down to cleanse it or something."

"Are we going on a road trip?" Yao asked looking up at Ivan with a smile.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll see you in a few days idiot," With that Ivan hung up his phone. "We sure are, let's get your things."

"Yah!" Yao cheered trying to stand but falling over as soon as he could.

"Okay Yao, how about you just tell me where everything is-" Ivan picked Yao up bridal style, "I'll get it?"

"My bags are in my room," Yao grumbled.

"Before that, let's get you changed," Ivan held Yao like a child on one arm with the smaller mans head resting on his shoulder. He found Feliks' makeup room and sat Yao down in one of the seats.

"I'm so tired," Yao grumbled.

"You can rest if you want, I'm just going to wipe your makeup off."

"Okie dokie," Yao smiled as Ivan found the makeup wipes and began to revel Yao's naturally soft skin.

"Are you still feeling giddy?"

"A lil' bit," Yao laughed. Ivan nodded with a grin, shaking his head.

"Eyeliner is the hardest part," Ivan grumbled wiping around Yao's eyes.

"Do you think I'm sexy like this?" Yao asked falling back. Ivan laughed, shaking his head.

"Please Yao, if I wanted someone who looked like a woman then I'd date a female," Ivan rolled his eyes. "But you do look sexy."

"That's what I thought," Yao grinned letting Ivan finish wipe off the rest of the makeup. He sat down the cloth looking up at Yao worried.

"Okay Yao, let's get you into something more comfortable, can you walk?" Ivan helped Yao stand.

"I'd prefer for you to carry me," Yao stumbled into Ivan, letting the Russian hold him up until he could flop onto the bed. Ivan packed Yao's clothes away pulling out what looked like his pyjamas: a red top, black baggy pants.

"Okay Yao, here we go," Slowly Ivan sat Yao up.

"Those are my Pyjama's," Yao stated.

"I know," Ivan slowly unfolded them looking back at Yao awkwardly. "Can you dress yourself?"

"Nope, you have to."

"Of course," Ivan rolled his eyes. "I'm not going to look at anything."

"Yes you are, bloody liar," Yao scowled. "I don't care. Just get me out of this skirt."

"I might lock this door, in case Feliks comes home and finds me trying to rip your clothes off," Ivan kicked the door shut, locking it.

"I wonder if he'd stop us," Yao fell back onto the bed. Ivan gave him an exasperated look, wandering over. In all his years not once did he think he'd be pulling Yao's clothes off on a bed only to put them back on. He always assumed they would be doing something a little bit more interesting. Probably not as challenging though.

"Here," Ivan pulled the skirt, making Yao laugh and shuffle away. "Dammit, come on Yao. Come back here."

"No," Yao crawled away in just his top falling off the other side of the bed.

"Yao!" Ivan ran away to see Yao lying on the floor. "Are you okay?"

"You bet your perky ass I am," Yao grinned. Ivan sighed sitting up back on the bed and pulling his top off. Underneath Ivan was almost drooling at the sight of Yao on a bed, almost naked, his hair had fallen out, spread all along the sheets and he was smiling. It was his wide, horny smile. Something Ivan only had seen in his dreams.

"Get yourself together," Ivan shook his head picking up Yao's pyjamas. Somehow he got Yao's top on then Yao began to fight him.

"No, no, no," Yao pulled away, stumbling to the door. Somehow he was unable to run but could unlock the door to get away.

"Yao! Get back here! Put your pants on!" Ivan jumped over the bed chasing him down the stairs. He managed to grab Yao in the lounge room and hold him on the floor from around the back.

"I don't wanna wear pants!" Yao grumbled.

"Yao!" Ivan fought him, holding Yao's legs down with his until he got the pants on.

"No!" Yao unsuccessfully kicked.

"Aha! Got you!" Ivan grinned as he got Yao's pants all the way on.

"Um…" They both looked up at the nearby voice to see none other than Eduard at the door.

"Uh, it's not what it looks like," Ivan explained going pale. Yao slumped, very upset he had to wear pants.

"I hate you," Yao snapped.

"It looks like you're trying to put Yao's pants on for him," Eduard looked confused.

"Well… yes that's what I'm doing but not for the reason you think," Ivan replied.

"I'm waiting for a reason, I have none right now."

"Well… you see…" Ivan let go of Yao.

"I'm getting my bags, asshole," Yao grumbled making his way up the stairs.

"Yao got really drunk and you saw the photos, da? I came to see if he was okay and Feliks wasn't here but Yao wasn't feeling well. So I called Alfred and he told me just to take Yao and he'd explain to Feliks. So I'm trying to but first he was going to get into his pyjamas but he wouldn't put his pants on."

"Right…" Eduard nodded. "Feliks is going to burn you alive if he finds you in his house tonight, you know that?"

"What's happening tonight?" Ivan asked curiously. He stood, dusting off his pants.

"Feliks is proposing to Toris, I'm here to set the place up."

"With Yao here?" Ivan looked confused. There was a loud bang and Yao's bag came to rest at Ivan's feet.

"Apparently, we were supposed to make sure he was okay to," Eduard shrugged. He had never been overly scared    of Ivan. A show, more than likely, Ivan didn't mind.

"I will get Yao out of your hair then, do not tell Feliks I was here. He will come after me," Ivan wandered over helping Yao stand.

"No problem, just don't tell Toris that I set this up, he'll be embarrassed."

"Deal, at least I know now," Ivan took Yao's bag with one arm and Yao with the other.

"Need some help?" He asked.

"I'm fine, if you could just clean up the mess I left when trying sober Yao up," Ivan turned.

"No problem," He went to leave.

"One question," Ivan spoke up turning to him.

"Anything, well obviously not anything," He reasoned.

"You're just going to let me walk out of here with a very intoxicated Yao? Not even checking with Alfred?"

"You're different now, I can see that. I just watch you wrestle pants _onto_ Yao. If you were trying to get them off: weird but I'd still trust your word. Plus you've never been a good liar."

Ivan smiled: "Thanks."

"That's okay," He shrugged turning back and closing the door. Ivan smiled for a moment at the door before a small boy came running up.

"Oh, Mr Russia," Ravis began to shake.

"Ravis call me Ivan, I told you," Ivan laughed.

"Right, I'm very sorry. What is wrong with China, uh, I mean Yao?"

"He's a bit unwell, I'm going to take him for a drive to make him feel better."

"Okay, when he wakes up tell him I hope he feels better soon," The blonde boy smiled.

"I will, are you helping set up?"

"Yes, Feliks has given us design plans down to photographs with measurements. We took 5 hours making all the hearts exactly the same size," He smiled.

"Why didn't you just buy a heart shaped cookie cutter and a scalpel?" Ivan looked confused at the smaller boy. He stopped smiling and thought for a moment.

"That sounds a lot easier than what we did," Ravis sighed. "I now wish you were there."

Ivan let out a deep chuckle shaking his head: "I better get going. For a small man Yao is getting heavy."

"Oh right, goodbye Mr- uh- sorry- Ivan," He smiled turning and running inside. Ivan took a deep breath looking down. Slowly he was able to get Yao and his bags into the car. He flipped Yao's seat back, using his coat as a blanket and his jumper as a pillow. Feeling almost naked with one layer left on he slipped into the car beside Yao, buckling the smaller man before himself.

"Looks like it's my turn to take care of you Yao," Ivan started the car taking off down the street. As he drove he began to speak to the unconscious man next to him.

"You know Yao, it's nice that everyone is starting to trust me again. I really did some horrible things, things so horrible my mind has blocked them out so it's nice that people see the change in me," He laughed when Yao replied with a snort. "Most of all you, dear Yao Yao. You have trusted me more and more. Starting with your company, your smile, and building up to being you designated driver during your new year's celebration. It's nice you trust me. I think it means more to me that you trust me than anyone else."

Yao grumbled under his breath, rolling around under the seatbelt.

"Even if you never return my feelings I'm still willing to spend the rest of eternity in love with you. That must make me crazy, da?"

"Son of a bitch," Yao mumbled, his eyes shooting around under his eyelids.

"I am certain one day I will say those 3 words to you when you're actually conscious, you will probably get all flustered and throw something at me," Ivan nodded turning the radio on. "Also I might like to mention now how cute you are when you sleep. Even though you dribble." A small chuckle came from Ivan when he looked over at Yao.

Yao had made himself comfortable, snoring lightly with his mouth hanging open. A string of dribble running out of the bottom corner of his mouth and onto the sweater. Ivan couldn't help but laugh at the sight.

"Very sexy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> R&R? 
> 
> -SeeleFairyWitch-


	9. Frosty Escape

Yao could feel his whole body aching, he felt his stomach turning and his head spinning. For a minute he thought he was dead but someone dead did not feel this much pain. Then he felt his head was lying on something warm and comfortable, it was hard though, like the thing his body was lying on but higher. It also had a dip. Yao came to the conclusion he was on someone's lap.

Then his ears tuned into the noises around him and there were people everywhere. Talking, some sounded stressed, there was a beep and a voice came over a speaker: "Ladies and Gentlemen, calling William Bruke for flight 2808 to London-" 

"Where am I?" Yao decided to open his eyes, the light flooded in around him and he saw rows of couches with people on them. He recognised the high ceiling and bright lights instantly: he was in an airport.

"You're awake, sober enough to travel yet?" A voice asked. Yao felt his blood go cold and he rolled on his back to see Ivan was staring down at him with a smile. Calmly Ivan shut his book sitting it to one side.

"I… feel sober, and sick," Yao grumbled.

"Here, I'll help you to the bathroom," Ivan smiled sitting the book in a small bag.

"I'm fine, aru, just point me in that general direction," Yao felt his head spin.

"Well I sat right next to them for this particular reason," Ivan pointed to his side.

"Thank you, I'll be right back," Yao rolled stumbling to the bathroom and into a stall. He quickly locked the door behind him leaning over the toilet and vomiting. "Dammit Yao, why do you drink wine? It's no good for you. Stick to spirits," He groaned.

"Yao? Are you okay?" Ivan leaned against the door.

"All good, just clearing out the bowels, it's good for your skin I think," Yao replied but it ended in a groan and another load coming up. 

"Sure," Ivan laughed at him. "I don't think it helps your dignity though. Let me in."

"I'm-" Yao vomited again. This time he got his hair and had to groan at the sight. "It's in my hair."

Ivan chuckled softly, like it was amusing in a cute way: "Let me in."

With a stretch Yao opened the door, letting the Russian in. Ivan closed the door behind him sitting his bag down and pulling out something. Then Yao saw the Russian reach for him out of the corner of his eye and wipe his hair.

"Are those wet wipes?" Yao asked critically.

"I always carry wet wipes Yao. They will never not be useful," Ivan replied moving Yao's hair gently away the firing line.

"How did I get here?"

"On the bathroom floor or the airport?" Ivan awkwardly squished in beside Yao, smiling at him.

"The airport, aru," Yao smiled a bit tom himself. Only Ivan would try to squeeze into a cubicle to help Yao. 

"Well Feliks posted photos of you that you probably want to wait to see so I came and picked you up. Then I drove you to the airport but they wouldn't let me on the plane unless you were conscious and not drunk," Ivan wiped Yao's face down.

"Photos? Oh no, what was I doing?" Yao grumbled putting a hand over his eyes.

"You do not remember?" Ivan raised an eyebrow. Yao thought really hard, his memory piercing through the fog.

"Was I in a pencil skirt?" Yao looked at him shocked. Ivan nodded. "I'm so sorry, aru," Yao apologised remembering all the trouble he gave Ivan.

"It's okay, I thought it was entertaining."

"I bet you did. Are you finding _this_ funny?"

"That fact that you're in pain, no," Ivan shook his head. "I find it funny you're such a bad drinker."

"I'm okay unless it's wine," Yao snapped.

"I am same," Ivan nodded in agreement pulling something out of his bag. "Water?"

"Thanks," Yao took the bottle, rinsing his mouth out and spitting.

"Asprin?" Ivan raised an eyebrow.

"What kind?" Yao looked up just as Ivan raised the bottle. "Six."

"Yao, it says on the bottle to take a maximum of 3," Ivan gave him a look of concern. Yao felt the last lot of bile rise and he vomited into the bowl again. This time he rinsed and spit, flushing the toilet. Then he looked back at a worried Russian to continue.

"Ivan, I'm four thousand years old. Give me 6," Yao glared at him. Ivan huffed but complied letting Yao take all six.

"Out plane leaves in an hour. I promised them you'd be up and about by then."

"Well I'm up but barely," Yao replied rubbing his eyes. "Where are my bags?"

"I checked them in," Ivan shrugged.

"Oh… I'm in my pyjama's," Yao felt his face go red.

"Yao, please," Ivan sighed softly. "You're in an airport bathroom throwing your guts up because of a few bottles of wine. That's more embarrassing than being in your pyjamas."

"I think it's a combination of things. At least there aren't any more pictures," Yao took a deep breath sipping the water. He suspected the vomiting was over.

"Sunglasses," Ivan passed him a pair of huge glasses.

"Those are womens sunglasses," Yao snapped, glaring at him.

"It's the best I could do Yao, just wear them. You will look sassy," Ivan held them out. Yao seemed resistant, glaring at him before he snatched the glasses and put them on.

"I'm never drinking wine again," Yao grumbled.

"Me either: a few bottles of wine with Francis and he gets grabby," Ivan shook his head.

"With you?"

"Da," Ivan nodded shivering all over. "He got to third base."

Yao laughed shaking his head- despite being overly uncaring about his body he hated being touched by someone without his approval. It was reasonable but what wasn't was breaking their hands to get your way.

"You let him get away with that?" Yao teased sipping his water.

"Da, I didn't know what was happening until it was over. I felt so taken advantage of in the morning," Ivan rubbed his chest sadly. "So I woke Francis up by body slamming him."

Yao laughed shaking his head: "At least he got what he deserved."

"Da, I thought so to," Ivan nodded with a smile. For a moment they just stared at each other than Yao spoke up.

"We should leave the toilet stall," Yao looked around.

"Probably, I'm trying to get out of Poland before he realises I'm here."

"I didn't mind spending time with Poland. He's a lot of fun but I'm never drinking with him again," Yao shook his head.

"What else did you do?"

"Well he pulled out my nose hairs. It hurt like hell." Yao stood shakily opening the door. "Then we went to the spa and it was really nice. Whoever was massaging me had magic hands, aru."

"Right," Ivan picked up his bag following Yao out of the bathroom.

"Then we had a spa bath together, which now I think about it was sort of weird but we were wearing pants. That's when the wine came out. Everything that happened after that was probably documented online," Yao rolled his eyes.

"It was. When I arrived at the door you thought I was a stripper," Ivan sat down, letting Yao take the seat next to him and lie his head on the Russians shoulder.

"Well, look at what you're wearing, you look like a hoe," Yao rolled his eyes.

"Yao… I'm wearing jeans and a black, long sleeved top," Ivan raised an eyebrow.

"Less than you usually wear. What's with you and this new wardrobe anyway?" Yao moved his head slightly to look up at Ivan.

"I just felt like a change," Ivan smiled back.

Yao cracked up: "A nation who feels like changing. There's a new one. We're all pretty set in our ways."

"Da, I know. I'm still not changing anything else but I decided I wanted to dress nicer so I did the only thing no nation should do," Ivan smiled down at him.

"Ask Eliza for relationship advice?" Yao raised an eyebrow.

"No," Ivan laughed. "I've done that to but I asked Francis to help me pick out a new wardrobe. He went on a field day. I told him I wanted smart casual."

"He did well, this top is so soft," Yao turned back to the front.

"It's comfortable and I don't feel overexposed to," Ivan grinned. "He threw away my orange turtle neck though. He told me it was a wart on fashion."

Yao burst out laughing: "It is ugly."

"I think it shows my bright personality," Ivan huffed. Yao laughed harder at that comment. "I had to fight him to keep my old brown jacket. The only reason I got to keep my scarf was because my sister gave it to me."

"You're not wearing it," Yao pointed out.

"Da, I know. I feel naked."

"You don't look naked," Yao shook his head. He didn't mind leaning against Ivan, using his arms as a pillow or letting Ivan carry him around. It was nice to have your own portable pillow and carrier, with built in heaters thanks to the Russian cold. Ivan was always a bit warmer to combat those winters and no one complained about it when Ivan hugged them. It was nice to get a warm hug.

" _Calling flight 277 to Moscow, ready for check in_." The  _voice_  called out.

"That's us," Ivan looked down at him passing him what looked like a large wallet. "Contains one phone, a passport, plane ticket, gum and wet wipes."

"Thanks Ivan. I don't know what I'd do without you," Yao laughed taking it.

"Well for starters you would've hit on Estonia and he would've cried," Ivan laughed. "Also you'd be at the mercy of whatever stupid plans Alfred ever came up with for this problem of yours."

"It hasn't really been bothering me lately," Yao took a deep breath.

"Since you got drunk?" Ivan replied.

"No, at the G8 meeting. I had a bit of trouble but no blackout, aru."

"So ever since you saw me, huh?" Ivan raised his eyerbrows suggestively.

"Aiya! No!" Yao punched him standing. "Hurry up."

Ivan chuckled, slowly standing and leading Yao to the gate.

"Mr. Braginsky, is he up?" The flight attendant smiled.

"Da, up and about," Ivan pulled Yao foreword.

"Oh, fantastic, you just can't wear the sunglasses when you go through security, okay?" She smiled.

"Got it," Yao gave her the thumbs up.

* * *

Yao had no trouble getting through security, Ivan however was stopped and his bag was emptied. Then they decided to strip search him just for the fun of it. They were incredibly comprehensive in their search. Ivan was unhappy by the time they sat down on the plane.

"At least they were thorough," Yao tried to look on the bright side.

"Yao, the cavity search was not necessary," Ivan grumbled. Yao tried not to laugh but Ivan's pout accompanied by the limp he had as he got on board was too much and small giggles kept slipping out.

"They were just being careful," Yao explained. Ivan turned to him, his bright eyes were full of pain and hatred.

"Feliks knows I'm here," Ivan stated. "He got me stripped and cavity searched Yao."

"Ivan, I highly doubt he knows," Yao rolled his eyes.

"I do not, that officer was not gentle," Ivan grumbled crossing his arms. Yao covered his face to hide how amusing he thought it was. Ivan put his legs up on the seat in front of him and sighed, finally relaxing. "When we get back, remind me to blow him up."

"Ivan, I doubt Feliks had anything to do with it. Maybe you just looked like someone who often does that," Yao tried to sound positive.

"Yao, why would I sneak things  _out_  of Poland?" Ivan asked. "In my body as well. I would just send it in the mail or drive across the border."

Yao tried chuckled shaking his head.

"It was him, I swear it," Ivan sunk into his seat. Yao patted his hand smiling at him apologetically. "He's dead when I get my hands on him."

"I'm sure he will be," Yao rolled his eyes. Ivan shoved a stick of gum in his mouth, his harsh glare softened and he looked at Yao again.

"This is your fault," Ivan stated. Yao laughed evilly as the plane prepared to take off.

"I know," Yao replied. Slowly the plane took off and Yao stole Ivan's gum (despite having his own). Ivan was probably the first person to unclip his seatbelt so he didn't have to sit directly on his sore ass again. Yao hated the fact that despite his body's awkward curve and shuffling down he was still taller than Yao.

"How are you feeling now?" Yao asked cursiouly.

"Sore but at least I'm away from Poland now," Ivan laughed shaking his head.

"That's a plus," Yao brought his legs up.

"I understand why bottoming is so hard now," He complained. Yao couldn't help but laugh at him. Ivan always had the most unusual and inappropriate comments all the time.

"Sir?" A flight attendant stood there in front of the pair's seats and smiled. Ivan smiled back, trying to straighten himself up. "It's for you," She passed him a phone.

"Thank you," Ivan took it warily putting it to his ear. "Hello?"

Yao may be old but his hearing was good enough to hear the voice on the other end.

_"Hey big boy, feeling a bit sore are we?"_   Feliks laughed through the phone.

"I knew it was you," instantly Ivan's whole aura grew darker.

_"You really thought you could get away without me punishing you for going into my house uninvited. I arranged a little surprise for your trip home. Did you like it?"_

"When I find you I'm going to strangle you," Ivan threatened. His tone was so dark that the people sitting around him were starting to get nervous.

_"Please, Demon, you liked it. How thorough were they?"_

"They cavity searched me," Ivan whispered sounding more upset than angry this time. For the next five minute all you heard through the phone was laughing.

Yao placed his hand around his mouth stiffling some giggles. He noticed Ivan look at him offended. 

_"That's so golden! I was wondering how far they'd go and I'm so glad they cavity searched you."_

"He wasn't gentle," Ivan snapped his face turning to a pouty frown.

_"I just wanted to know you were embarrassed and in pain. Put Yao on."_

Ivan rolled his eyes but passed the phone to Yao and turning his head out the window. He slumped back down.

"Hello Feliks," Yao smiled. He couldn't help but run a hand through Ivan's hair, it was so soft like a child's. Ivan's hair was always soft, fine and Yao loved the colour. Ivan seemed to misplace most of his anger and he turned back to Yao with a look similar to a child about to cry. 

_"Hey sexy, tell me he's ass is sore," Feliks began._

"It is," Yao nodded smiling at Ivan. The Russian gave him that puppy dog look he was famous for.

_"Oh good, he deserved that. How are you feeling?"_

"I had a hangover when I woke up but I'm feeling better now," Yao shrugged. "Apparently I was allowed on the plane anyway. Nation privileges."

_"Living the high life, I just wanted to make sure he was in pain. Ass hole, like, sneaking into my country uninvited,"_ He laughed like an evil genius.

"He's in a lot of pain, you know?"

_"I know, I don't care... are you defending him because you think he's hot?"_

"I am not!" Yao went red looking away from Ivan.

_"You so are, you horny old man,"_ Feliks laughed. Yao went redder pulling away from Ivan so he couldn't hear Feliks.

"I am not," Yao snapped.

_"Whatever, I gotta go, proposing time,"_ Feliks laughed hanging up. Yao huffed passing the phone back to the attendant and slumping down like Ivan was.

"What now?" Yao asked.

"You can rest if you want," Ivan looked sideways at him.

"I think I may have to do that," Yao nodded yawning.

"You can rest on my arm, just pass me my book," Ivan offered. Yao leant down to the bag at his feet pulling out the novel and looking it over.

"Romance?"

"Romance fantasy Yao," Ivan corrected taking it.

"I thought only middle aged women read that?" Yao teased raising an eyebrow.

"I find them interesting," Ivan responded flicking it open.

"What's it about?"

"He falls in love with a women but she's a wind sprite. Wind sprites love to be free but he wants her to love him. She does love him so to prove to him how much she loves him she gives up her freedom?"

"So she turns human," Yao tilted his head curiously. Ivan laughed.

"No it's called bondage Yao," Ivan replied. Yao punched him in the arm shaking his head.

"What really happens?" Yao shook his head laughing.

"Other than the high amount of bondage he travels to the ends of the world to bed the gods to turn him into an air sprite. Instead they turn him into a fire sprite. At first he thinks its horrible then he realises how right they were to change him into fire sprite. Without oxygen, or air, a fire will go out. So without her, he's can't survive," Ivan explained.

"You're a soppy mess," Yao teased. Ivan laughed, opening his book.

"Did I mention how much bondage there is?" Ivan narrowed his eyes.

"Only a few times," Yao rolled his eyes with a small laugh. "I don't want to use you as a pillow if you're going to read porn."

"Yao, please. You don't read _this_ in public unless you know you can handle yourself," Ivan rolled his eyes. "Come along," he tapped his shoulder.

Yao rolled his eyes leaning against that soft, muscly arm. He rubbed his face against the soft fabric then realised something.

"Was my head in your lap when you were reading that?" Yao opened one arms looking up at him.

"Yes it was," Ivan's eyes skimmed over the page.

"I'm going to ignore how incredibly disturbing that was and go to sleep."

"Probably for the best Yao Yao," Ivan smiled to himself. Yao shuffled and closed his eyes, drifting off to sleep. The last sensation he had was the feeling of Ivan's warmth.

* * *

"Yao Yao, it's time to wake up," A whisper broke Yao from his sleep. Yao grumbled, his eyes fluttering open.

"Is the flight over? That didn't feel like long," Yao grumbled sitting up. He rubbed his eyes noticing everyone was getting there stuff packed and standing.

"It's only a two hour flight Yao Yao," Ivan picked up his bag.

"Did you finish your book?" Yao yawned.

"I did," Ivan nodded.

"Any good?"

"Not really, it had a bad ending," Ivan mused slipping his bag on.

"What happened?"

"She died then he died, then they became spirits. How are spirits supposed to do bondage?" Ivan shrugged looking disgusted. "It was horribly written to."

Yao laughed standing up and holding his tiny man purse close to his chest. No, he didn't feel less manly with it. He was wearing a skirt a few hours ago so nothing was fazing him. Not even his cougar sunglasses.

Ivan stayed close on his tail, having to duck under all the doorways. Yao laughed as he ducked through the plane door.

"They design these for short people," Ivan complained as they made their way up the extendable hall.

"You have no idea what it's like to be short,"

"Da, you're right. It looks hot down there," Ivan nodded. "You know, being closer to hell and everything."

"You're a jerk," Yao stated with a smile. Ivan laughed at him.

"I kid because I love, Yao," Ivan laughed.

"I know," Yao rolled his eyes. "What are your plans to keep me away from writing?"

"I have two strategies." Ivan stated. "First strategy is ignoring the problem and keeping you distracted."

"You do that normally," Yao looked critical.

"Exactly," Ivan smiled.

"If that doesn't work?"

"Oh, Plan B was bondage, I got that from the book," Ivan looked at him seriously. Yao raised an eyebrow. "I do not want to get hit though. Perhaps I might consider hiding all the pens, pencils and markers."

"That might work, aru," Yao nodded. "Where?"

"My secret," Ivan grinned. Whenever he was being sneaky he always got that look in his eyes like he would when he was a child. His smile always promised he knew more than you did and he was planning on using it to his advantage.

"Fine," Yao narrowed his eyes, scowling. They stopped just as bags started coming off the runner.

"I may hide them somewhere you'll never look," Ivan teased.

"I'll look in your underwear draw," Yao threatened. Ivan laughed, shaking his head. "Do you have a bag?"

"Me? No," Ivan pulled Yao's bag off, pulling the handle off. "I wasn't planning on staying long."

"Understandable," Yao nodded. "Does your ass still hurt?"

"No, I feel fine now. Probably need a really good shower. That man scared me," Ivan always said the right thing to make Yao laugh at him.

"Feliks was far too proud of himself."

"Da, he posted it online," Ivan grumbled. "Everyone knows I was cavity searched in Poland now."

"That's okay, I cross-dressed, aru," Yao shrugged.

"We should not visit Poland," Ivan decided.

"No, we both lost our dignity," Yao shook his head. Ivan laughed, he started off back through customs and security where he didn't get strip searched again and got all the way to the exit doors without a single airport security officer pulling him up.

"Over here," Ivan pulled the bag behind him as he crossed the road to a car park. Yao followed, looking around the snow white country. Such beauty came at a price though that Yao could feel in a thin shirt and pants. 

"It's freezing," Yao shivered, rubbing his arms. Ivan raised an eyebrow looking around.

"Oh, there's frost, I didn't even notice," Ivan laughed shaking his head. "I'm so used to it I didn't even realise that it was cold."

"Of course you didn't, you're a heater," Yao complained. Ivan had a tendency to go into his own world, his eyes would get that far off glassy look and he'd smile. It made him look like he was listening even if he wasn't. Yao always wondered what he was thinking about that made him smile.

"This way," Ivan pulled Yao to a huge car, it looked like an army truck.

"What happened to that other piece of rubbish you had?" Yao asked curiously.

"It was vintage Yao," Ivan defended his old car.

"It didn't even pass the safety test. You had no rear window, the tires were all wrong and the speedo didn't work. You just guessed the speed you were doing."

"Vintage Yao," Ivan unlocked the car slipping the case in the boot. Yao was more than glad to jump into the passenger seat despite how funny he looked trying to get into such a huge car. Ivan had banned him from driving on ice since the car sliding incident involving what would've been their deaths if they hadn't of been nations. 

Ivan slipped in beside him 

"I crashed my other car. Forgot to put the ice tyres on it and spun out into a tree," Ivan sighed. "After that my boss told me he was buying my cars and got this. It's to big Yao, I do not like it."

"At least people get out of your way," Yao suggested.

"There's that," Ivan laughed backing out and taking off. He seemed to have no trouble in getting the thin layer of frost off the window and turning the heat up.

"Why does your car only have a thin layer of frost?" Yao asked noticing how much snow was covering the other cars.

"I texted my boss when we got on board, he sent someone to drop off my car," Ivan turned onto the open road, taking off down the road.

"Smart," Yao looked into the distance, loving the beautiful white. Ivan matched his country so much, beautiful but deadly. Cold but mesmerising. Open but mysterious.

Yao looked between the snowy views to Ivan and laughed.

"What's so funny?" Ivan asked, not taking his eyes off the road.

"I'm trying to decide if you'd blend into the snow," Yao teased. Ivan raised and eyebrow smirking. He'd only ever take that sort of teasing from Yao. Gladly to, Ivan probably teased him just as much about being short or old.

"Very funny," He put his foot on the break as they came to a set of traffic lights. "Tell me about your big holiday then?"

"From the beginning?" Yao questioned.

"Da, from Francis."

"Ugh, Francis, he's a pervert," Yao began. "He was dusting his house in just an apron, who does that?" Yao grumbled.

"Sounds like a normal day in Francis' house." Ivan laughed.

"Then Mei showed up and I thought I was saved but she left me there. With that awful Hello Kitty bag to," Yao rubbed his eyes.

Ivan cracked up: "You and your hello kitty, Yao Yao."

"Shut up," Yao scowled. "Finally Arthur showed up and saved me. I would've stayed but Franics was rubbing on me. He has no concept of personal space. Then you know what happened at Arthur's place. The rest was probably advertised online."

"Da, I just checked it and it seems there was a nations at the airport. They got a picture of when you were asleep on my lap and I was reading in the lounge."

"That's probably how Feliks knew you were in Poland," Yao nodded. "Who was it?"

"Eliza," Ivan looked behind him.

"She spends a lot of time with Mei and Kiku- it worries me," Yao had always been suspicious of that woman. She spent to much time following people around and seemed very fond of Ivan- not in a romantic way, the two were friends but knew for a fact that she would always insistently question Ivan on his relationship with his southern Chinese neighbour. 

"I'm sure it's nothing Yao," Ivan shrugged.

"You haven't seen Kiku's bookcase," Yao nodded. Ivan let out a chuckle his eyes snapping to Yao for a moment. 

"I'm pretty sure mine is the same minus the pictures."

"Sort of like yours but it's all gay. Yours is a solid three quarters gay." Yao nodded. "It's probably my fault."

" _Probably_ Yao?" Ivan grinned.

"Yes, yes, laugh at my overly promiscuous years that seemed to have occurred when Kiku was young. Shut up."

Ivan laughed: "I did not say a thing."

"You implied it," Yao narrowed his eyes. Ivan smiled like he was up to no good, his eyes glazing over for a moment as they hit the highway. For a moment Yao just watched him- Ivan had become so... kind after the collapse of the Soviet Union. He had pulled back from his very hands on role in running his own country. He now preferred doing paperwork and attending meetings to tackling any issues head on and in person. Yao knew it was because he had trouble handling a lot of situations due to a severe case of PTSD, something his boss had suggested in the hope that Ivan's mental health would not effect the country. Yao knew it would catch up with Russia eventually in the form of his people and economy. Hundreds of years of bloodshed and loss had caught up with Ivan in a matter of weeks. This caused a period of two years where he would not even leave his house. Yao had been heavy handed in reforming their friendship so he could storm into Ivan's bedroom, throw clothes at him and tell him to clean up his act. Ivan had taken well to the tough love and slowly grew to be a softer, kinder and cheekier version of the man Yao had known before the Soviet Union. 

"Alfred told me about the conversations you had when he was driving you back to his place," Ivan brought up casually. Yao's whole mind halted and he felt his cheeks go bright red.

"Did he now?" Yao began to pray that Alfred wasn't stupid enough to mention Yao's emotional eating. For his own sake.

"Da," Ivan replied.

"What did he say?" Yao tried not to look directly at Ivan as the Russian would probably see the desperation in his eyes.

"He told me what he said about me: being eternally hungry and horny," Ivan laughed. Yao smiled a breeze of relief running though him.

"He doesn't know social stop lights."

"Nyet," Ivan shook his head. "He's got it half right though. I'm not as hungry lately as I normally am. He told me that you admitted I was hot."

"I did not!" Yao scowled.

"You didn't deny it though," Ivan laughed.

"I'm going to crash this car for both of us," Yao threatened.

"So you don't think I'm sexy? I'm offended Yao."

"I didn't say that," Yao snapped.

"So you do think I'm sexy?" Ivan pushed. He had a way of getting the truth that caught you between an upset Ivan or a smug Ivan.

"This conversation is over," Yao snapped crossing his arms.

"So yes I'm sexy?" Ivan grinned.

"Is this how you get information from people? Lock them in your car and drive at top speed so they can't jump out?"

"I would never Yao. I was just curious to what you thought of me," Ivan shrugged. "I thought you would at least have an opinion on my body since I worked so hard to get into this condition."

Yao sighed, rubbing his eyes: "If I answer the question you're not allowed to be smug."

"Okay," Ivan nodded. Of course he knew the answer from that request but he'd let Yao get away with that one.

"Yes," Yao slumped, crossing his arms. He glared out the window. Ivan smiled.

"Thank you," Ivan smiled.

"Stop smiling," Yao growled.

"You're not even looking at me Yao."

"I can sense your smug smile, stop it, aru."

Ivan laughed pulling off the highway to a remote road. Yao noticed this, the last time he had seen this area it was colder and they were visiting Ivan's cabin. The one he got trapped in.

"Where are we going?"

"The cabin Yao," Ivan replied like it was obvious. "I fixed it up, I live there now."

"It's so… lonely though," Yao looked over at him.

"Da, it's quiet and big enough for all its occupants," Ivan nodded. "I couldn't stand that big house anymore. You know since it's just me right now, it felt unnecessary and the cleaning was awful."

"That makes sense," Yao nodded staring out the window. "Is my country still there after all of this?"

Ivan laughed: "Da, it was yesterday when your boss was yelling at me on the phone. Apparently it's my fault you have disapearred off the face of the earth."

"Did you hang up on him?" Yao replied as they pulled onto a overgrown dirt track that led to Ivan's cabin.

"I did not have the heart so I just sat the phone nearby and read while he yelled. Then I told him you were in Poland last I heard and hung up."

"He hasn't called me," Yao grumbled.

"You never answer your phone Yao," Ivan replied.

"I don't know where my phone is and Kiku put it on silent for a meeting and I cannot turn it off," Yao grumbled as they pulled into the garage.

"Da, I thought so, I will fix it for you," Ivan smiled slipping out. Yao followed suit having to actually use the step to get down.

"It's warmer already, aru," Yao smiled.

"Da, home sweet home," Ivan smiled pulling out Yao's bag.

Part of him hoped it would be like any other visit where they'd watch movies, laugh, cook, and talk. Staying up to unimaginable hours of the night to do something that could wait to the next day. It was refreshing to finally be in a home that made him comfortable. The other part of Yao was hoping it would be exactly like his other visits plus more.

Yao tried to ignore the latter part of him and concentrate on getting rid of this problem so he could go home.

If he even wanted to after this...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please Read and Reveiw! 
> 
> This is the second last chapter.
> 
>  
> 
> -SeeleFairyWitch-


	10. Ivan's Arms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a bit of a long one but do enjoy!

"You can't just call everything that's old vintage," Yao grumbled putting his feet up. 

"I should stop calling you vintage then?" Ivan raised an eyebrow. Yao's eyes instantly narrowed and the sound of laughing came through their headphones.

Yao turned back to the screen giving Ivan a sharp punch to his arm.

"Ow, Yao!" Ivan looked shocked. "I was just kidding, I'll still call you vintage- ow!"

_"This is the part where you say: no daddy, don't beat me!" Alfred laughed._

"Why would I do that if I like it? Ow!" Ivan rubbed his sore arm. Yao glared at him, his dark eyes tearing holes in the larger man.

"One more word and I'll hit you with this remote," Yao threatened.

Everyone was still laughing at them, it was unusual to think their relationship was so dysfunctional. They were practically an old married couple without knowing it. 

_"Don't do that Yao, he likes it," Gilbert teased._

"Ow!" Ivan jumped. "Why did you do that?"

"Because Gilbert isn't here," Yao shrugged turning back to his screen.

"Did you hear that Gilbert? I have something to pass onto you at the next world meeting," Ivan smiled his eyes not straying from the screen. Yao had begrudgingly agreed to play the video game the nations had created again to keep his hands busy.

_"If you can catch me," Gilbert scoffed._

_"Oh, hey look. Francis is on. Great, I need a kill," Alfred laughed._

"Francis just hides," Ivan rolled his eyes. "He doesn't even shoot."

_"I think he gets scared and forgets how to," Alfred mused._

_"I can hear you two brats," Francis spat._ Yao shook his head with a smile.

"Someone is following me," Yao grumbled.

_"Who is that?" Francis sounded shocked._

"Yao, he's at my place so I gave him a controller. He's screen cheating though," Ivan tried to cover Yao's eyes.

"I am not!" Yao snapped pushing away.

"Liar," Ivan accused. Yao poked his tongue out kicking Ivan. "Ow! Stop that!"

_"What the hell is happening in your house?" Alfred asked._

_"Sounds like la amour," Francis teased._

"I'm going to kill Yao," Ivan grinned. "Ah! Yao! No!"

_"Not really," Gilbert mused_.

"Agh! He's got his legs around my eyes. Help!" Ivan tried to shake the Chinese man off but he was just too good at his craft. Yao had, without hands, gotten up behind Ivan and covered Ivan's eyes with his legs.

_"Five seconds!" Alfred started running. They all saw him jump off the top of the building and kill Francis with his weight. "Yeah! Weight Crush!"_

_"What was that?" Francis sounded shocked._

"We gave Alfred Fat ass ability," Ivan commented without the sight. Yao used his feet to poke Ivan's face. "Yao, you're relentless. I'm never playing video games with you in the room again. Sore loser."

Yao poked his tongue out at the Russian man and fell to one side.

The end screen popped up and Ivan laughed.

"Thinking I am the champion again," Ivan stumbled to his feet.

_"No need to gloat about how you could kill us all," Gilbert scoffed. "We all knew it."_

"I would've had no deaths if someone wasn't screen cheating."

_"I gave him permission man," Alfred laughed. "Who's in for the next game?"_

_"I am," Gilbert cheered._

_"Oui," Francis smiled._

"I'm going to have a shower," Ivan stood, dusting himself off. "Yao?"

"One more game," Yao smiled at him.

_"Okie dokie, let me set up the players. Right Ivan's out, let's do this," Alfred laughed._  Ivan slipped off his headphones sitting them down and sat his control to one side.

Soon the countdown began and Ivan was gone.

_"Is he gone?" Francis asked._

"He's in the shower," Yao heard the distinct sound of the water running.

_"Antonio's in," Alfred grinned._

 

The bad touch kind of sucked compared to Yao, of course Yao's character had ninja skills beyond compare as Alfred had so helpfully explained. 

_"Hey Yao," Alfred spoke up._

"Yes Alfred?"

_"How's your writing thing?" He asked casually._

_"Yeah, still having episodes?" Antonio asked._

"Not really," Yao laughed. "It's weird, they may have slowed down."

_"Your exports haven't slowed down so something must've changed," Francis shrugged. "Oh, I know! Reuniting with your Russian crush, perhaps?"_

"Absolutely not!" Yao snapped.

_"Right," Antonio sounded unbelieving._

_"That makes sense, you haven't had any episodes since you ran into Ivan at the G8 meeting," Gilbert teased._

"It makes no sense, I was still having weird episodes at the world meeting and Ivan was there, aru," Yao rolled his eyes. Though he had to admit Ivan's very presence was calming to the China man. Now that Ivan was in the shower his hands were twitching. Yao tried to ignore them.

_"Do you still get those weird twitches?" Antonio asked._

"I'm getting one right now," Yao replied. "Ugh, I have to go."

_"Wait! Yao! Dude!"_ Alfred called out but it was too late. Yao was gone.

_"Should we call?"_ Antonio suggested.

_"I will, just to get Ivan out of the shower,"_ Alfred offered.

Ivan shook his head, letting water cover the walls around him. Then he heard the phone ringing. He assumed Yao would get it but the ringing continued.

"Yao!" Ivan called out. No reply. "Yao?" Slowly Ivan turned the shower off putting a towel around his waist. He stepped out of the shower looking around. The phone rang again. Ivan jumped to attention, rushing into the lounge room.

"Privet, Ivan speaking," Ivan noticed Yao wasn't on the couch. He began to worry.

"Hey man, its Alfred, Yao just said he had that twitchy hand thing then went offline. Is he there?"

"Nyet," Ivan looked into the kitchen then wandered into the bedroom. Walking back into the lounge room he noticed the front door was cracked open. "Oh no."

"What? Did you find him?" Alfred asked.

"The front doors open," Ivan swung the door open looking into the cold landscape. The rush of cold air hit his naked body, he was ready to run to his room and change when he saw the smaller man just metres from him in the snow, he was digging into his and muttering under his breath.

"Do you see him?"

"Da, he's in the snow, I'll get him inside. Talk to you later," Ivan hung up the phone sitting it to one side. He never considered changing when he saw Yao was in his thin pyjamas and shivering.

"Made… made," Yao kept working despite his skin turning blue. Ivan sucked it up, stepping onto the cold snow barefoot and in a towel.

"Yao!" Ivan stepped towards him, hissing with each step. He could feel his body freezing. "Yao!"

"In china, Made in china," Yao grumbled. Ivan stopped next to him leaning down to shake the smaller mans' shoulder.

"Yao?"

"Made in China," Yao mumbled. "Everything."

"We need to go inside," Ivan placed a hand on Yao's shoulder. Yao smacked his hand away turning back to the snow.

"M-m-made," Yao shivered again, his teeth were chattering.

"That's it," Ivan grabbed Yao, holding his hands down and pulling him to his feet.

"No! No! Let go of me!" Yao kicked and screamed, he tried to get back to the snow. It was then Ivan noticed all around the path he walked was the same three word dug into the snow.

"No Yao, you need to come inside before you freeze," Ivan kicked the door closed pushing Yao so the smaller man stumbled back into the back of the couch. Yao balanced himself then charged foreword trying to get past Ivan. "No Yao!" Ivan wrapped his arms around the smaller man, holding him tight while the smaller man punched and yelled.

"Move!" Yao struggled. "Let go of me!"

"Yao! Yao," Ivan's voice calmed as Yao did. The smaller man ran a hand down Ivan's pale chest, staring at it for a moment. "Oh thank God. Are you okay?"

Yao pushed back turning and walking off.

"Yao?" Ivan followed him into the kitchen where Yao was pulling apart cupboards and testing bottles. He pulled out one, squeezing it onto his finger then he smiled to himself.

"Perfect,"

"Yao? What is that?" Ivan asked as Yao slipped off the bench approaching him. His eyes were latched onto Ivan's chest and it was kind of turning the Russian on.

"Hm… to vertical," Yao decided.

"Yao?" Ivan let his head fall to one side.

"Sh," Yao pressed a finger to Ivan's lips. "Paper doesn't talk."

"What?" Ivan looked confused. In a moment Yao had two fingers against Ivan's chest, pushing him back until the Russian tripped on the couch and fell onto his back in the mess of pillows.

"Better," Yao crawled on top of Ivan, straddling his lap. As soon as Ivan regained his composure he tried to sit up but Yao simply put two fingers on his head using it to force Ivan back down.

"Yao?" Ivan tried to push back, putting his head on the other side's arm rest. Yao put his whole hand on Ivan's mouth for a moment.

"I said shut up," Yao stated in a silky tone. Ivan obeyed as Yao took his hands away. He shook the bottle in his hands and squeezed the letters onto Ivan's chest. He began to do it over and over until Ivan the Russian's whole chest was covered.

"Yao-"

Ivan tried to speak again only to have a hand shoved in his mouth. Yao hummed, looking for more room. Ivan couldn't deny that Yao's little adventure all over his body was turning him on and it was becoming obvious.

Yao leant forward, forcing Ivan's head to one side. He examined Ivan's paper white neck and smiled. He ran one finger down, testing the smoothness.

"Ah, Yao, stop it," Ivan squeezed his eyes shut. Yao suddenly realised what he was doing, where he was. Who he was sitting on.

"Oh no, I'm so sorry," Yao sat back, straight onto Ivan's lap. "I didn't mean- oh wow," Yao looked over Ivan's chest. He even had chocolate splattered onto his face.

"That's okay Yao," Ivan sighed leaning up on his elbows.

"I didn't mean to- I just."

"I said it was fine," Ivan smiled taking a deep breath. He was still red as a beetroot and trying to shuffle down. It was then Yao felt it: Ivan had been a bit too excited by Yao's show. Understandably.

"Um…" Yao put his hands on Ivan's stomach looking down. Often when he was sitting on a naked man with a boner pushing up into him he would also be naked and he hadn't just sexually assaulted the against their will.

Ivan realised that Yao had figured him out and he looked down, trying to calm himself.

"Yao, I…" Ivan tried to explain himself.

"Ivan you don't have to," Yao laughed lightly. "It was my fault."

Ivan's head dropped but he stared at Yao through his eyelashes.

"I-I guess I should explain… how though," Ivan scratched the back of his head.

"Don't," Yao stared down at him. He was sick of this pretending he didn't want to ride Ivan so hard he wouldn't walk in the morning. He could feel Ivan pressing into him and it was making him equally excited.

"What?" Ivan looked confused at him.

"I said don't," Yao repeated. "Let me apologise for this by cleaning you off."

"It's fine, I'll just have another shower," Ivan shrugged sitting up. "This one may be cold."

Yao pulled Ivan with two fingers under his chin, he wrapped his mouth around Ivan's jaw, sucking the chocolate off.

"Y-yao, Yao Yao," Ivan let out a deep breath. Yao moved down, leaving one soft kiss to Ivan's neck before sucking on one nip to clear a letter. "Yao!" Ivan pushed Yao back.

"What's wrong?" Yao let his head fall to one side.

"We can't when you're having one of your episodes," Ivan shook his head.

"Oh Ivan," Yao shook his head, a smile spread across his chocolate coated lips. "I wouldn't be licking it off if I was having an episode."

Ivan thought for a moment: "Oh."

"Lay back, relax. I'll take good care of you, okay?" Yao smiled pushing Ivan against the couch. He took in the sight of Ivan going bright red before continuing his assault on Ivan's chest. As he went he began to rock his hip, sending waves of pleasure up Ivan's body. Ivan let out a gasp, his head falling back.

"D-da," Ivan nodded in reply. Yao felt his lips were covered in chocolate and his mouth was dry from the taste. There was no way he could clean Ivan's whole chest. There was just too much.

"Ivan," Yao let Ivan's eyes flash open.

"Yes Yao?"

"You're allowed to undress me," Yao raised an eyebrow.

"You weren't finished," Ivan grinned. "I want you to clean my whole chest."

"I have neither the patience nor the saliva to do that, aru," Yao replied.

"Compromise does not exist in my dictionary just for Yao Yao. You made the mess, now clean it up," Ivan leaned closer, whispering the challenge in Yao's ear. "Just like you did the last mess you left on my country."

"What?" Yao went red.

"The spray paint on the wall? Don't think I didn't know about that," Ivan grinned. "I know everything about you dear Yao. I told you, I don't compromise."

"Well do you masturbate because I'll leave you to it if you want?" Yao smiled sucking on Ivan's earlobe.

"Blackmail as well," Ivan winced when Yao ran his hands down the Russian's torso. Yao laughed leaning back to pick up a cloth. He quickly wiped Ivan down, making sure to not leave a sticky spot.

Ivan reached down lifting Yao's top up and above his head throwing it over the couch. He then pulled down on Yao's pants with the smaller man's help.

"My turn," Yao ripped the towel off throwing it to one side and straddling the bigger man's lap.

"Ah, Yao!" Ivan hissed when the smaller man bit down on his neck.

"This feels wrong Ivan," Yao whispered as Ivan pulled him into a sticky kiss.

"I know, it's amazing," Ivan replied slowly pushing Yao back until he was on top.

"Ivan! I'm suddenly seeing all the things that could go wrong from this," Yao winced when Ivan grinding them together.

"Don't think about that Yao, that all comes later," Ivan pulled Yao down sucking on the smaller man's neck.

"Our bosses will kill us," Yao was suddenly remembering all the reasons he wasn't sleeping with Ivan. "Siblings, Ivan!"

"I said do not worry, Yao Yao," Ivan leaned down looking straight into those dark eyes. He stared into them for a moment. "Do you want to stop?"

"No, but I feel I have to," Yao looked up at him through his lashes.

"Yao, selfless Yao, you are always thinking of others. Think about yourself," Ivan ran a hand down one side of Yao's face. "You seem like a different person to the one who was licking chocolate off me before."

"That person realised that this could be a disaster," Yao snapped.

"What about the good Yao?" Ivan tilted his head to one side. "Yao and Ivan, an item at last. Something that, lets be honest, everyone has been expecting. What does Yao want?"

Yao looked up at him, something glinted in his eyes.

"I want you Ivan," Yao explained.

"Good, because I want you to," Ivan leaned down swooping the smaller man into a kiss.

Yao let his hands explore, running up the larger mans chest and around his back to feel the skin of Ivan's soft pale skin that stretched across his back, there were small lines all along the larger mans back, thin, like the scars from a knife wound.

There were so many they felt painful but Ivan hadn't shivered so his mind was elsewhere in that moment. Yao stared into those beautiful purple eyes, getting lost in the mystery that had left Yao wandering in them for centuries. The mystery of what Ivan was thinking, something his eyes always hid. Something he shielded for a good reason.

Yao yearned to be able to read those eyes but at the same time refused to let Ivan read him. However he wasn't as good at hiding his feeling than Ivan was. Ivan could see straight through the tough exterior to the golden heart Yao possessed. A man who had suffered everything but could still find room in his heart to love one more, to forgive one more time. It hurt Ivan to see Yao broken hearted, to see him lost.

"Yao," Ivan spoke softly, his voice was soft, like Yao was a injured wild animal. Yao hated that tone of voice.

"Ivan, you don't need to treat me like an injured animal, I can do it," Yao smiled back.

"That's not what I was going to say but I'm glad," Ivan chuckled to himself. "I was going to ask if you had any lube on you."

Yao went silent for a second thinking: "Well, I didn't pack any if that's what you're asking."

"Damn, I'll be right back. Do not move," Ivan jumped, running into the bedroom. Yao could hear things being torn apart in the next room and smiled.

"Hurry up Ivan or I'll start without you!" Yao called out.

"You wouldn't!"

"Try me," Yao laughed. In a second Ivan was back.

"Did you find it?" Yao asked.

Ivan held up a tube with a smile: "It's a rubbing oil but it will do the job."

"That better be safe," Yao warned.

"I'm sure it is," Ivan shrugged looking down on Yao. "It feels unusual to just climb back onto you."

Yao laughed standing on the couch and jumping him.

"Whoah! Yao!"  _Smash!_  Ivan successfully caught Yao and they both fell against the wall.

"Not as weird?"

"More terrifying," Ivan agreed. "What if I dropped you?"

"I knew you wouldn't," Yao smiled leaning closer. "Kiss me before I change my mind again."

Ivan grinned leaning forward and pulling the smaller man into a passionate kiss.

"Yao," Ivan whispered under his breath, grinding them together against the wall. He moved to Yao's neck, his hands wrapping around the smaller man's ass.

"Uh, Ivan!" The smaller man groaned.

"Yao, I feel as though I'm dreaming," Ivan admitted fumbling to put lube on three fingers while keeping Yao up. Yao smiled his head back against the wall.

"You must have very real dreams," Yao commented.

"I've dreamed of this enough," Ivan sucked on Yao's ear. It was then Yao realised that Ivan was in love with him. Of course he knew it before but the realisation had hit him mixed with the pleasure of Ivan grinding him hard and those pale hands about to explore every inch of Yao's ass.

"I-Ivan," Yao went cross-eyed when one finger slipped into his ass. He had no idea how Ivan was holding him up and fingering him at the same time but he couldn't see.

"Yes Yao," Ivan ran his tongue up Yao's neck earning a whimper.

"I don't think you'll fit," Yao admitted going red. Ivan stopped.

"I will Yao, trust me," Ivan laughed. "I have had sex with people of your race, I fit."

"You had sex with my citizens!" Yao snapped.

"Well technically yes, but that's beside the point. I will fit," Ivan smiled. "Plus I know you have made love with another citizens."

"I have and fine, just don't stop for goodness sake!" Yao snapped.

"Oh right sorry," Ivan inserted a third finger hearing a satisfy scream and moan. "How's that?"

"I don't know, you can screw me like this against the wall though," Yao gritted his teeth.

"Challenge accepted," Ivan grinned.

"No! You will screw me on the couch because I'm an elder and I'm fragile."

"No problem, old man," Ivan teased pulling Yao close. His warm mouth wrapped around Yao's neck, a small gasp escaped Yao's lips. 

"Jerk," Yao snapped. Ivan grinned pumping his fingers one more time to make Yao squirm. "Ah! Ivan!"

"Do you want me?" Ivan asked with a smile.

"Yes but not like this. I won't be all bent at an awkward angle on this couch. I'd like to sit up," Yao looked around.

"Here," Ivan pulled Yao close getting up. He kicked his recliner lounge making the footrest come out. Ivan kneeled on top of Yao sucking on that slender neck. He made a point of pulling Yao's ass up so he could grind them together.

"Ah- Ivan," Yao let out a deep breath. "You're a giant tease."

Ivan grinned pulling Yao's legs up and onto his shoulders.

"I said no awkward angles," Yao snapped.

"Yao, for a man who was begging for me you are making it very had for us to make love," Ivan smiled with a warning tone.

Yao raised an eyebrow at him: a stronger warning.

Ivan sighed putting one arm under the smaller man and flipping him.

"How's that?" Ivan asked.

"Better," Yao smiled cuddling up. He put his feet up ticking Ivan's butt.

"Yao!" Ivan jumped and laughed. "Stop that."

"Stop what?" Yao smiled innocently at him.

"I'm going pound you," Ivan warned. Yao smiled digging his face into the couch. Ivan leaned down sucking on Yao's neck again. Yao smiled humming and leaning into the kiss.

"Mmm… ah!" Yao squeaked when Ivan pushed the tip of his dick in. "Ivan!"

"My bad," Ivan grinned slowly pushing in. Yao pulled a mixture of faces, his whole body tensing.

"Ah- Ivan," Yao pulled a face.

"Relax yourself Yao," Ivan kissed his cheek. "Just a bit more."

"Ivan, you won't fit all the way in," Yao snapped. Ivan put one hand under his waist pulling him up onto Ivan.

"I'm in, all the way," Ivan gave Yao a smug smirk. Yao shuffled, kneeling and glaring at Ivan.

"How?" Yao tried to look, twisting his body.

"You have obviously done this before," Ivan nodded. Yao gave him the finger turning back to the couch.

"Move," Yao smiled shaking his head.

Ivan sucked on his neck, his hands going up and down Yao's body. He started slow, only pulling out a put before going back in. Yao let out a few noises, nothing to loud.

"I was kind of hoping you'd be noisy," Ivan kissed his ear with a grin.

"You're not going hard enough," Yao retorted with a chuckle. 

"Challenge accepted," Ivan smiled. He began to push harder, feeling Yao move under his weight. Yao let out a squeak, a groan. So many cute noises Ivan was enjoying. Then Ivan moved faster, slamming against Yao's prostate, He decided not to pull out to far, it would leave to much time between Yao's groans and screams.

"Ivan!" Yao shivered his whole body moving with Ivan. Ivan pushed harder.

"Yao Yao, You're amazing," Ivan whispered into his ear.

"Ah! Shit Ivan," Yao wanted him to go harder. "Harder."

Ivan smiled slamming in harder. He was barely moving from a distance but in that moment, where they were connected he could feel Yao's ass against his legs, that beautiful body under his hands.

They were all the sensations he dreamed of, Yao was all he dreamed of. Now it was real and Ivan couldn't stop thinking it was a dream.

"Yao, ah," Ivan reached around grabbing Yao's length. He began to pump.

"Ivan!" Yao groaned and growled. He could feel himself tighten. He guessed it had been a while since the last time he was dominated by someone Ivan's size and that huge cock slamming against his prostate was pushing him closer to the edge as it was.

Ivan moved harder and harder, speeding his pace up but trying not to flip the couch. He raised his body, grabbing Yao's hips for a minute and pushing Yao onto him harder. Yao screamed, then again, he seemed to be enjoying this position. 

Ivan continued to slam, stretching one arm around and grabbing his length once more. This time it was to much, Yao came. All over the couch and Ivan's hand. Ivan wasn't done yet though. He wanted more, Ivan let go, his hands going back to Yao's hips.

He slammed the Chinaman against him harder and Yao was still screaming for more, for Ivan to do unspeakable things to him. Ivan let out a shuddering breath.

"Yao! Ah! I love you." Ivan let out one last confession before shooting his essence straight up Yao's ass. Yao let out a deep breath and shuffled. Ivan leaned his head against Yao's back.

"Next time we'll time it so we both cum at the same time," Ivan suggested.

"That's not important, if you cum first, I get a blow job. If I do, you keep going. Same the other way around," Yao laughed. Ivan pulled to one side.

"Yao inside of me, I would love to try that," Ivan laid on the couch next to Yao. The smaller man cuddled up to his chest, the sweat and cum sticking them together.

"One day, aru," Yao agreed. "How do you feel?"

"Hm… like I could die a happy man," Ivan shrugged. Yao laughed. "I'm buzzing Yao, really. What about you?"

"Hm… a bit sore but also buzzing," Yao agreed. Ivan nodded with a smile. "You said you loved me."

"Did I?" Ivan asked going red. "I do not remember this."

"You did," Yao grinned pulling him into a kiss. "I love you to Ivan."

"Really?" Ivan grinned.

"Yes," Yao nodded with a smile. Ivan got a brighter, if that was even possible, he was almost glowing. He flipped them pulling Yao into a long passionate kiss.

"I could take you again," Ivan grinned kissing Yao again.

"Ivan!" Yao laughed pushing him back. "No, bad Ivan. I love you but I think I deserve a break. You were very hard."

"You asked for it," Ivan defended himself.

"I did, aru," Yao sat up pulling Ivan into a kiss. "I love you."

"I love you to," Ivan grinned.

Suddenly the phone rang, Ivan flipped them so Yao could lie on his chest and grabbed the phone.

"Hello?" Ivan smiled patting Yao's hair. "Ah, yes, Alfred, I found him. He is very safe."

Yao laughed shaking his head at the Russian when he suggestively raised his eyebrows. Then Ivan's smile dropped and he seemed to pale.

"Oh… I see, my bad," Ivan bit his lip. "Yes, I suppose. Thank you for letting me know. Goodbye."

Ivan hung up the phone and sat it to one side. He looked down on Yao for a moment.

"You forgot to disconnect your remote," He grabbed Yao's remote pressing a few buttons to shut off the game.

"So?" Yao shrugged.

"No, Yao, your headphones were still on," Ivan explained. Yao went pale looking at the headphones right next to them.

"Did they hear it all?" Yao asked.

"Da, every scream," Ivan nodded throwing the remote to one side. Yao was silent for a moment then began to laugh. "It's not funny Yao."

"But… they heard me screaming your name and heard you and-" Yao laughed harder. 

Ivan began to laugh shaking his head. Then they were both laughing.

"Do you think we can pull it off as a friendly tennis match?" Ivan asked.

"Yeah sure, if I was putting the racquet in you," Yao laughed harder. Ivan cackled.

"We're so fucked," Ivan wiped away a tear. 

"No one will even be able to look at us in the next meeting," Yao shook his head.

"Good, I hate their faces," Ivan snapped. Yao laughed harder.

"Ivan," Yao took a deep breath.

"Let's get drunk and do it again. This time lets call Arthur and have sex while he's on the phone," Yao suggested.

"Done," Ivan grinned.

"Also next time we're doing it in the bedroom," Yao nodded.

"Done, I will screw you in the bedroom with Arthur on the phone," Ivan nodded.

"No, I'll screw you and he'll be so confused," Yao suggested.

"I'll get the vodka," Ivan sat up. He stood ready to run off.

"Ivan!" Yao called out. Ivan stopped mid stride turning to him.

"Yes Yao?"

"I love you," Yao grinned.

"I love you to," Ivan leaned down giving him a long passionate kiss. "I have an idea."

"What?"

"Let's just call him and act like your topping by making all the noises then hang up and have actual sex."

"I like that idea, then we know he can hear us, aru," Yao smiled. "Get the vodka."

"Done," Ivan turned running off.

Yao smiled shaking his head. His hands no longer burned to write. There was no urge to write, no warning of blacking out. Just the leftover warmth of Ivan's body against his.

Him and Ivan, of course Yao wasn't lying when he said he loved the Russian. He had always loved Ivan. Whether he could trust Ivan was a different matter but Yao felt in that moment that the world was right and he could love Ivan without punishment.

They'd been best friends and acting like an old married couple for years and years so why not lovers. Why not together forever? They'd made it this far and still ended up back in each other's arms.

Yao smiled at the thought of the Russian. Who would've thought that a huge Russian man could cure him of such a weird habit?

"Are you okay Yao?" Ivan asked coming back in with two bottles.

"I was just thinking about how weird it is I don't feel like writing at all."

"Ah, I knew I could cure you," Ivan laughed.

"You have a magic ass," Yao teased.

"I do," Ivan agreed. "Are you coming?"

"I'll be right there, aru," Yao stretched to stand.

"If you don't hurry I'll start without you," Ivan teased. Yao grinned standing to follow Ivan, his eyes snapped down to get a good perv of the Russians ass when he froze-

There is was, tattooed on Ivan's ass cheek. Yao guessed that it had been that night they had both gotten really drunk and woken up outside a tattoo parlor. Ivan rubbed the spot like it was sore but it didn't smudge.

Those three bloody words…

_Made in China._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might do one more chapter when Yao is trying to tell Ivan about the Tattoo but can't. Not sure. What do you all think? Comment with suggestions. But other than that, this is all! I really loved writing this so I'm going to write more funny fan fictions like this. 
> 
> In my next story I'm tossing up a few ideas. Who knows? That tattoo could make a whole story in itself.
> 
> See you all soon!
> 
> -SeeleFairyWitch-


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